Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Mother's Love

What a weekend this has been. On Friday I spoke with (S) case worker and she said nothing to me about a visitation for (S) with her parents. (S) and I went out and ran some errands and went to "Donalfries" (McDonalds) for lunch. We got home around around 2:30 and there is a message from the caseworker asking if (S) can visit with her family from 1-4. There were also 2 messages from (S) mom wanting to know why she wasn't there.

I called her mom and told her what had happened, and she said that (S) was supposed to be there next week on Monday Wednesday and Friday from 10am to 3pm. Still no word from the caseworker. So Saturday is a normal visitation so we were hopeful that the reunification worker would be there so we could talk with her. Unfortunately she wasn't. My lovely wife called her later in the day to find out what was going on. She confirmed that if it can be worked out that those are correct times for a visit for just (S) with none of her siblings. She is the youngest and probably has no memory of living with mom and dad so they want her to spend a lot of time alone with mom before she goes back to live with them.

My head wants to be as helpful as possible, but I think my heart is saying "if they want something let them take care of it. It is not your responsibility." The bottom line is my heart doesn't want her to leave even though I know it is best for her. I have no doubt that we can provide more materially for (S), but at the end of the day, there is no love like a mother's love and (S) needs to have that if at all possible. I just can't get away from the thought of her not being here. We are trying to plan a long road trip for after she is gone to kind of keep our mind off things, but I don't know if that will work.

Today I took (S) sledding in the front yard. We both had a blast, but we couldn't do it very long because the wind chills were below zero. I have to be in Florida from Monday through Wednesday so I promised her when I got back we would sled some more.

I just can't get my mind off her leaving. What do all of you good people out there recommend for a "tourist" in Ohio, Indianna, Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, New York, Pennsylvania, Missouri, and Illinois. That is where we are planning to go on our "planning" roadtrip. We hope it becomes a reality, and we hope it can be fun and get our minds off (S) but I know it won't work for long periods, but maybe a little at a time. We have to have something to do.

We plan on giving the case worker our cell phone number in case things don't work out and (S) needs to come back. I hate to have those thoughts, but I just can't help it. Like I said before, my head wants this to work for (S) and my heart wants to be selfish and keep her for ourselves.

Well, I am going to go play with (S) before she goes to bed. Everyone have a nice day.


  1. things to do in all of those states?? that is a busy trip!!! if you are passing through Indiana.....Indianapolis has the biggest (and best in my opinion) children's museum in the country. it is five stories with a carousel on the top floor and has entertainment from about 12 mo. to any age! it is a blast to see and downown indy is really cool. If you're passing through Columbus, OH, they have a kid's science museum called COSI. I haven't been there but my husband is from there and loved it. it is very similar to the children's museum. if you're passing thru Cincinnati, they have an aquarium that is really cool and it is all indoors. if you're near Cleveland, you could go thru Sandusky, OH near Cedar Point. they have an indoor water park and a really cool hotel you can stay at. come to think of it, indianapolis has a holiday inn that has an indoor water park as well. not as cool as the one at Cedar point, but it is better than nothing!!

    of course, if you go thru Tennessee, then Nashville would be where you want to go. there is so much to do there, you will never be bored :) they have a science museum for children that is really cool and the Opry Mills mall is incredible shopping and they even have a Rainforest Cafe inside the mall.

    hope that helps!!!!!!!!!! have a wonderful trip!!

  2. hmm...when I know or suspect a kid is leaving I always plan on having a couple of days to do nothing but curl into a ball and cry. The thought of going on a trip would be overwhelming. I wouldn't be able to take my mind off it. I figure I just have to feel miserable until I don't feel as miserable.

    Which isn't to say that you shouldn't take a trip. Whatever helps you deal with the pain, you should do.

    It hurts. Even when we know it is the right thing, it hurts. In my experience I go through a period in which I think I am over it only to be hit with the pain again. Frankie left a year and a half ago, and I am at peace. Two years after Ann left I still sometimes cried.

    Your experience may vary, of course.

    I know, this wasn't the question you asked. I don't have any information on travel destinations. Sorry.

  3. Getting our heads to do what the heart wants and vise verser sometimes just doesnt work....

    I have to say "ditto" to waht Yondalla but some down time.... I would hate to plan a BIG trip in the middle of it....

    HUGZ I know how you must be feeling,.