Wednesday, June 30, 2010

National Adoption Day


Another Tuesday passes and still no word from the courts.

I have set a goal. I have no control over this goal, but have set it none-the-less. National Adoption Day will be on November 20th this year. This will be the 11th year that this day is celebrated. It always occurs on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I am hoping that it is celebrated in Maine and that the family courts actually open for that day as the goal is for us to adopt (S) on that day.

Yes, I know, it is up to the courts if that happens, and at the rate they are going, that could be a difficult goal, but we have to have something to look forward to, so mark your calenders as that is going to be "our" day....with a little luck.

You usually only hear about National Adoption Day in November, so here is a little info. National Adoption Day is a day when the nation celebrates adoption from foster care. If you are thinking about adopting, I would encourage you to look into adoption from foster care. I haven't taken any polls myself, or checked with all the states, but articles indicate there are over 500,000 children in foster care in the US and over 120,000 of them are waiting for "forever" famiies.

I know I write a lot here about how frustrating and painful the process has been, but don't let that deter you. I know in the end it will have all been worth it for both DW and I as well as for (S).

You can always get more information at your State's Department of Human Services, or Child Services, or whatever they call it in your neck of the woods, or you can check out


Sunday, June 27, 2010

I wonder?

The phone rang at 2:30 this morning. It can never be good when a phone rings at that time of day. DW sleeps on the side of the bed where the phone is, or rather the phone is placed on the side of the bed where DW sleeps as it won't wake me up.

Last night I did wake up though and it turned out it was DHHS who had an emergency placement of a 15 month old boy. DW explained that we were unable to take him at this time. It got me wondering though as to what we could/would take in another such instance

The first thing we have to do I think is ask (S)' s therapist what she thinks as to what (S) can handle in terms of another child in the house. When (S) came to us, she came from a fmaily of 5 children and she was obviously not cared for very well. She has been the only child in the house since she came to us, and she is doing great. I have to wonder if another child in the house would create a problem for her. Luckily, we have an appointment with the therapist tomorrow.

Once we figure out what works for (S), I guess we have to figure out what works for us. The reason we got involved in foster care to begin with was for just those type of occurances where they need emergency care for a short period for a child in need. As it turns out we have never actually done that.

We thought that was what we were getting into with (S). She was only a few months older than that boy last night. I wonder what would have happened if we had not said yes to (S). I wonder will happen since we didn't say yes last night.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Faith, Hope, and Love

We got our newsletter from "Adoptive and Foster Families of Maine" today. On the back page are some little tidbits I thought worthy of sharing today:

1. It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snow blower, or vacuum cleaner.

2. The real challenge in dealing with a five year old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five year old.

3. You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you were they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going.

4. Children are a great comfort to us in our old age, and they help us reach it faster too!

5. Little girls definition of conscience: Something that makes you tell your mother before your brother or sister does.

6. There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it.

7. What you don't know takes a lot of explaining to children.

8. When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world.

I hope I didn't violate any copyrights by putting this here, but I thoiught it was worth noting. I hope you all have a great weekend. Tomorrow we are taking (S) to the beach! It is supposed to be a wonderful day so it should be fun.


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

35 years

Today is our anniversary. DW and I have been married for 35 years! Just between you and me, she deserves a medal. I can't believe she has put up with me for all of these years.

This last year has been quite a year for us. It actually started the day before our last anniversary when (K) got married. She is now pregnant with our first grandson and is due in August. Our other daughter (A) is getting married in September. She is marrying a man who has two children. Most importantly, during this last year we made the decision to adopt (S).

So we ended last year with 3 children.

We will end this next year with 4 children, 2 sons-in-law, and a 3 grandchildren. How cool is that?!?!?!?

Which is the best addition? That is hard to say. It has to be between the pending adoption of (S) and the addition of grandchildren to our family. Not that the addition of sons-in-law isn't nice, just not as nice as looking forward to our first grandchildren or adoption day ( a day we keep hoping will come, but seems like it may never happen.)

DW always reads what I write here, so a message for you sweetheart: Happy Anniversary!


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I'm Listening

Every day at least one person and sometimes as many as 3 or 4 ask me: "Anything new from the court?" Well, the answer today is the same that it has been for the last 6 months. I don't see it changing any time soon either.

I know the people asking me are only asking because they genuinely care about (S) and what is happening with her, but it gets more and more irritating every day.

I have never been through anything like this before so it is a new experience. I am used to things being done in a more efficient manner and if they aren't, I do something about it. Unfortunately, I have no power over this one. I am reminded of the serenity prayer that goes something like this:.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Well, at least I have the wisdom to know that I can't change this, now I guess I just need some of that serenity. I will keep trying the prayer, but if anyone out there has any better ideas, I'm listening.


Sunday, June 13, 2010

An Adoption Bucket List

Living in Maine, we have made many trips to Canada over the years. It is just as close for us to go to Quebec City as it is to go to Boston. Quebec City is an absolutely wonderful place. The old city is like being in a small town in france. It is truly delightful. We have taken the bio kids to King's Landing in New Brunswick and the Canadian Maritimes are also beautiful. We love going on cruises, but have not done that since shortly after (S) came to us.

Unfortunately, we are unable to take (S) out of the country so we haven't been able to go with her. Sure we could go alone, but I would love to take her with us. I think she would get a kick out of it. I guess that is something else that will just have to wait until the adoption is final and we have a birth certificate and passport.

I have come up with an idea though. It seems everyone has a "Bucket List" these days. So, I am creating an adoption bucket list. All those things we want to do with (S) but can't until after adoption. Obviously the first item on the list is a HUGE celebration. After that, lets start with these three:

1. Quebec City
2. The Canadian Maritimes
3. Caribbean Cruise

If you have any ideas to contribute to our "adoption bucket list" or have a an adoption bucket list of your own, we would appreciate suggestions. Maybe it will keep us busy enough to forget how long it is taking for the adoption to be finalized.


Saturday, June 12, 2010

A Wonderful and Happy Little Girl


A full week at home! It has been great. I get to play with, read to, walk with, and hug (S) any time I want. We have had a geat time. We went bowling last weekend as it was rainy and she likes that a lot. Today she has a friend over and they are playing together nicely. Her friend is going to spend the night.

Speaking of spending the night.....As regular readers know, since the original unification with bio-mom and dad started, (S) has not been staying in her bedroom at night, but coming into ours. It was difficult for DW to deal with that alone while I was away, but now that we are here together and able to work on it together, we have had (S) stay in her room 4 or 5 nights in a row now.

We are very proud of her, but the best part is that she is proud of herself! We still have had some problems getting her to stay in her room when we first put her in, but by working together DW and I have managed to get her to stay there until she falls asleep. We don't know if she is getting up during the night every night, but if she is, she isn't coming into our room!

Today we were supposed to have a visit with (S)s brothers. Only one of her brothers showed up, and he has been moved from a house that he had been in, and was going to be adopted into. I was amazed and shocked that he was no longer in that home. We are not sure what the whole story is, but apparently there is some kind of an investigation going on and he was removed from that home. He is now in his third foster home. Thankfully (S) has only been with us and not had to be moved around. Apparently the new home is also willing to adopt him. That is nice, and the foster mom, who we met for the first time today, seems very nice.

The other three brothers are all in one home, and they didn't show up today. We don't know why though. DW called their home and there was no answer. She left a message, but no return call yet. I hope all is ok with that family.

Still nothing new from the courts, so all the kids are still in a bit of are we. I keep hoping every day that we will hear something, but as we go into the summer I am less optimistic as so many people take vacations in the summer and it is hard to get anything done.

On a lighter and happier note, yesterday marked 2 1/2 years that (S) has been with us. It has been a wonderful 2 1/2 years. We love her so much and can't imagine life without her. She is a wonderful and happy little girl.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

Tomorrow I Go Home

I have been working away from home for the last 6 months. While we have had many weekends together, it has been a long hard 6 months. It has been especially hard on DW and (S). It has been a great experience for me, but I am going to be so glad to get home tomorrow. It is going to be great to see DW and (S) every day. The alone time here was great for about 2 1/2 days, but it has been way too long for way too long.

The first thing I am going to do when I get home is to give (S) and DW a big hug. Saturday we are going to Foster Family Day at Fort Knox State Park in Maine. Sunday is a birthday barbecue for (A)s fiance and whatever we do the rest of the day I can assure you it will be fun. The best part though will be on Monday.

Monday when I get done at work, I will go home to be with DW and (S). I can read to (S) (Green Eggs and Ham is my favorite). I can do puzzles with her, and I can sit with her in my recliner and just cuddle a little. I can't wait.

I am not going anywhere for a while!!! In Maine, the state says that Maine is "the way life should be" I don't know about that, but when I get home, I am going to enjoy myself with my family and THAT is the way life should be!!