Sunday, September 27, 2009

Two out of Four

That's right. (S) has spent 2 of the last four nights in her "Princess" bedroom. Apparently the monster spray works some of the time. We are certainly hoping this trend continues. It may only be until 6 or 6:30 am, but it is still a big step.

She still won't fall asleep in her room. We have to let her fall asleep in the den while we are still there, but once she is sleeping, I am able to move her into her bed. When we get her spending every night in her room for the whole night, then we will work on falling asleep in her own room. We totally redid the room last week making it into a "Princess" room. It now has pink walls, and a disney border and princess decals all over the wall. There is a Princess clock and a Castle throw rug as well. She loves her room. I think that may be helping a llittle, but she didn't stay in her room until after we sprayed with the monster spray.

Here is the recipe for Monster Spray.

1. Go to you local dollar store and purchase any spray bottle.

2. Fill the bottle with 2 parts hydrogen and 1 part oxygen.

3. Take the bottle and a cloth up to the infected room.

4. Spray in known areas of monster infestation wiping the formula in with the rag as you go through to ensure deep penetration.

5. Declare the monsters exterminated.

6. Repeat nightly as required.

Hey, it seems to be working for us!


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Monster Spray and Hide and Seek

So (S) still does not sleep in her room the whole night. She was at the play therapist who she told there were monsters in her room. So she suggested we get some monster spray to rid the room of the monsters. Last night I got the spray out and sprayed the entire room. Apparently I missed a few spots.

(S) came in our room again last night and advised there were still monsters under her bed, in her dresser and in her closet. So tonight (S) helped spray so we could ensure we got the whole room sprayed.

I am not optimistic. She is a smart girl and I don't think she really believes in the spray, but I am willing to give anything a shot........

On the other hand, how smart can she really be. Last night DW and I were cleaning up after dinner and I looked over and saw (S). She was crouched behind a small planter. As I looked over she put her hands over her eyes and started counting. I was now deeply involved in what was happening behind the planter. when she got to 4 she uncovered her eyes and said

OOOOOHHHHH! I found myself!!

That's right folks. She was playing Hide and seek with herself.


Saturday, September 19, 2009


(S) is certainly not a flower girl. She is a Princess! Just ask her. I don't know anything about phonetics either and I am certainly not teaching them to (S). So why is the title of this entry "Eliza"? Well if I must tell you.....

Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

I've grown accustomed to her face.
She almost makes the day begin.
Her smiles, her frowns,Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now;
Like breathing out and breathing in.
We were serenely independent and content before she came;
Surely we could always be that way again-And yet I've grown accustomed to her look; Accustomed to her voice;

Accustomed to her face.


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

You Can't You Judge a Book by its Cover. Or can you?


There have been many times in my life when I have said " hey it is true, you can't judge a book by its cover." I remember a little Japanese restaurant in Montreal that a bunch of us went to. When we arrived we found a place that looked like a real dive. It was in a dying part of town. Old factory buildings that were boarded up lined the streets. There were stairs leading down to the restaurant located in the basement of one of those factories building. There was nothing else around and there weren't any people outside. The problem was that we were going to a baseball game and didn't really have a lot of time to find someplace else so we grudgingly went in.........It was fantastic!......You can't judge a book by its cover.

I could go on about movies that didn't look all that great but I went to because someone else wanted to go. I can think of books that really fit the theory. When we were looking for houses there were a lot of them. There were the ones that looked great on the outside and were in desperate need of TLC inside, as well as the ones that looked horrible on the outside but on the inside were absolutely beautiful......You can't judge a book by its cover.

OK, so the theory works. At least for inanimate objects. Not always mind you, but enough so that you really have to look inside to find out what the real picture is.

What about people? My idealistic side would like to think that everyone has some good somewhere, and I may be naive, but I am sure that is true to differing degrees. As far as the judging theory goes....well we were in court yet again last week and as always we were there for a hearing related to the TPR of (S). It was the busiest we had ever seen this courthouse. Being a family court all the cases were either child protective cases, divorce cases, adoption cases. There wasn't a lot to do except read old magazines, or people watch. I chose the later and found myself judging some of the "books" roaming around the courthouse on Monday.

There was a young couple there. One with a lot of life left ahead of them. On occasion they even held each other's hand. They were both well dressed and groomed. He was reading a book and she was sitting anxiously quiet. There was no way they were there to get a divorce. I am convinced they were in the process of adopting a young child.

On the other hand, there were a number of people there who were dirty, horribly dressed, and had obviously just came in from the wilderness of northern Maine. Most of them could not put together a sentence. I figured they must have been the ones involved in child protective cases. The only reason they could possibly be there is because the state had to take their children away.

There was a bleached blond girl there who was about 5'7" tall and I don't think she weighed 90 p0unds soaking wet. Obviously a drug addict. She was however well dressed. She was most likely trying to get custody back of her child/ren who had been taken away from her.

There was an older casually dressed couple there with a son of about 30 who looked like he was a hard working mechanic. His hands had the rough grease-stained look. He had on a pair of blue dickies and a sweatshirt. He was clean and was able to talk in complete sentences. Whatever the reason they were there, I was sure everything was going to work out for them.

There were the other people who were obviously there to testify. They were talking amongst themselves. Well dressed and groomed. A few I recognized as counselors and therapists from (S)s case.

The suits.....they all had to be the lawyers.....They had thick briefcases under their arms and cell-phones attached to their belts. One needed a cane. They conversed with each other about all matters of things. Some of them pertaining to cases, and some of them totally irrelevant to what they were doing in court.

So, was I right about my judgements? I have no clue. ( I was wearing a shirt and tie and had a cell phone but I am not a lawyer) I could have been right but most likely I was right about some and wrong about others. Hence the theory. But when you are sitting around in a courthouse all day awaiting your 10 minutes before a judge, what else is there to do? I am just left to wonder..... By the way (S)s bio-mom was there. She still looks used and abused although she was clean and neatly dressed.

If nothing else is clear, the one thing that is obvious is that some people have never been taught good hygiene, or how they should look when going before a judge.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Latest Poop

OK, so it has been a couple of weeks. I was out of town all last week on business.

I kept thinking each day something new was going to happen and yet it hasn't. Today we went to the courthouse and the new judge was there to discuss the case. She said the old judge may return to hear the case. I guess he is "active" retired. I am not sure what that means, but I am hoping that the new judge just hears the whole thing. A fresh look at all the evidence and what is and has been going on might work out best for all concerned.

In the meantime, the lawyers are going to get together in a couple of weeks to talk and we are looking at a November or December hearing that will last 3 to 4 days. Then there will be a 4 to 6 week time before any decision is rendered. Sooooooooooo we will be here in limbo until sometime after the New Year. At least (S) is unaware of her "limbo status". Of course one of the lawyers said that there was a warrant out for dad's arrest (not sure why) and according to the sw, mom and dad filed PPOs against each other but are living around the corner from each other. I could live to be 100 and I will never figure this out so I guess I will just report it and not waster energy trying to figure it out.

Mom will be having a meeting with (S)s therapist this week to discuss how visits with her may be handled. There has not been any progress made on this front, and I am quite happy about that. After the last visit with mom (S) took a giant step backwards and she is doing so well now.

Speaking of doing well.....(S) started pre-school last week. She really likes it. She seems to do real well. She is clingy in the morning when we drop her off, but it isn't anything that unusual. She has been dry and clean every day for a while now. She still wears a diaper at night, but she is making progress there too. We still can't get her to spend an entire night in her own bedroom. She hasn't done that since the last visit with mom over a month ago. She is turning into a terror at times. I think she is just testing the limits like any other child to see how far she can go. It can be very frustrating for us at times though.

Obviously, this saga will continue to continue or keep on keeping on, or whatever you want to call it. At least the plot isn't thickening....I think......