*
I have to spend a lot of time away over the next few months. I will be about 4 hours from home and am going to try tog et home on weekends at the least. So last night I drive the 4 hours and get home in time to take DW and (S) to dinner at (S)s favorite restaurant. She refers to it as the "restaurant where you pick out your own food". It is a buffet style place. They have chocolate covered strawberries there which she loves.
Anyway, we went there and it is lcoated inside a hotel. There was a group having a Christmas Party there and they had their very own Grinch. Unfortunately the Grinch scared (S), but she got back at him. She let out such a scream as he tried to approach her that the poor guy jumped. Unfortunately, I was holding her and I am still hearing rining in my ear.
Today was (S)s very first dance recital and this was the main reason I had to be sure to get home for today. It was held in the local High School auditorium and there were a lot of people there. There were 100 girls who danced on the stage this morning and one little girl who didn't. She just stood there looking around, biting her nails and checking everything out, but no dancing. In case you are wondering, it was (S). No, she didn't dance one bit. She did look adorable in the little costume they had her in, and my oldest daughter (A) had the video camera. I told her to make sure she panned all of the dancers so that we could at least see what she was supposed to be doing.
Tomorrow I have to go out of town again, but I will be back again on Friday I hope. It depends on the weather. Anyway, I am going to try to keep up with the blog, but it may be difficult with all the travelling I am going to be doing. I just look forward to the times I come home,. Last night when I walked into the house I got a great big kiss and a hug from (S). That is something you get with small kids that is just wonderful. I don't remember when it stopped with my biological kids, but then I didn't remember how much I missed it either. It must have been when they got to the point where I was unable to pick them up. I hope (S) stays small for a while.
*
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thanks to Everyone
*
Since Thursday, things have been crazy. It seems as though everywhere I go there is someone saying congratulations. Thanks to those of you here who have passed along your congrats. On facebook we have had many well-wishes and around town is fantastic. It is all overwhelming
This morning I took (S) to dance class. When it was over I was putting a pair of pants on over her leotard and getting her shoes on and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look around and there is the case worker who actually took (S) into custody 2 years ago. She had her thumb up and a big smile on her face. "Congratulations" she said "I heard about it at work. you must be thrilled". I think she may have been as excited as we are.
The reason I was putting pants on (S) is because we weren't coming straight home. We had some errands to run while DW was at work. We went to the craft store and there was another person saying congratulations.
Tomorrow is the day we are getting our Christmas Tree. It will certainly be a special time of year for us this year.
We had a talk with (S) last night. We weren't sure exactly what to say, but we asked her if she remembered last Chirstmas and where she was. She did remember that she was at her other mother and fathers house and they had a room for her, and her father was taken away in an ambulance. She also seemed to remember that there was talk about her leaving our house and going to live with all her brothers and her other mother and father. We told her that she would still be able to see her brothers, but she would not be seeing her "other" mommy and daddy. We also told her that she would be staying with us forever. She is only 4, and I am not sure how much of it she really understands, but I do know that she spent the entire night in her bedroom last night.
We have been trying to get that point across as much as possible because the therapist thought that at least part of the reason she wasn't staying in her room at night was for fear of losing us. Hopefully the more we stress that, the more comfortable she will be.
Now we are really looking forward to Adoption Day so we can have our very own "forever family" party. We are open to ideas, and of course everyone will be invited!
Since Thursday, things have been crazy. It seems as though everywhere I go there is someone saying congratulations. Thanks to those of you here who have passed along your congrats. On facebook we have had many well-wishes and around town is fantastic. It is all overwhelming
This morning I took (S) to dance class. When it was over I was putting a pair of pants on over her leotard and getting her shoes on and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look around and there is the case worker who actually took (S) into custody 2 years ago. She had her thumb up and a big smile on her face. "Congratulations" she said "I heard about it at work. you must be thrilled". I think she may have been as excited as we are.
The reason I was putting pants on (S) is because we weren't coming straight home. We had some errands to run while DW was at work. We went to the craft store and there was another person saying congratulations.
Tomorrow is the day we are getting our Christmas Tree. It will certainly be a special time of year for us this year.
We had a talk with (S) last night. We weren't sure exactly what to say, but we asked her if she remembered last Chirstmas and where she was. She did remember that she was at her other mother and fathers house and they had a room for her, and her father was taken away in an ambulance. She also seemed to remember that there was talk about her leaving our house and going to live with all her brothers and her other mother and father. We told her that she would still be able to see her brothers, but she would not be seeing her "other" mommy and daddy. We also told her that she would be staying with us forever. She is only 4, and I am not sure how much of it she really understands, but I do know that she spent the entire night in her bedroom last night.
We have been trying to get that point across as much as possible because the therapist thought that at least part of the reason she wasn't staying in her room at night was for fear of losing us. Hopefully the more we stress that, the more comfortable she will be.
Now we are really looking forward to Adoption Day so we can have our very own "forever family" party. We are open to ideas, and of course everyone will be invited!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
What a Wonderful Day
*
On a wonderful day like today
I defy any cloud to appear in the sky
Dare any raindrop to plop in my eye
On a wonderful day like today
----Anthony Newley
So yesterday I ranted and said I felt better. No Rant today, but I feel fantastic!!!!!
Here is the process:
Step 7. We get a court date.
Step 8. (S) is legally what she has been in spirit. A memeber of our family.
Step 9. We post pictures of the family after the hearing so that all can see.
We finished Step 1 last month. We got past Step 2 today. That's right!!!! The TPR was granted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We found out this morning. I can't begin to tell you how excited we are. This is a wonderful day for our family.
*
On a wonderful day like today
I defy any cloud to appear in the sky
Dare any raindrop to plop in my eye
On a wonderful day like today
----Anthony Newley
So yesterday I ranted and said I felt better. No Rant today, but I feel fantastic!!!!!
Here is the process:
Step 1. We get approved as an adoptive home
Step 2. The TPR is granted.
Step 3. We wait 45 days to see if an appeal is filed.
Step 4. After 45 days or after the appeal is denied we have our disclosure meeting....Ought to be interesting since we know more about (S) then they do. :)
Step 5. We sign paperwork and bring a portion of it to the court house where we get an adoption package to fill out.
Step 6. We have our fingerprints done'........ yet again.Step 7. We get a court date.
Step 8. (S) is legally what she has been in spirit. A memeber of our family.
Step 9. We post pictures of the family after the hearing so that all can see.
We finished Step 1 last month. We got past Step 2 today. That's right!!!! The TPR was granted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We found out this morning. I can't begin to tell you how excited we are. This is a wonderful day for our family.
*
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I am waiting
*
I am waiting for an answer.
I am waiting for the judge to reach her decision.
I am waiting to hear that we can adopt (S).
I am waiting for the end of this leg of our trip to come to an end.
I am waiting to make plans for the future.
If I appear to be frustrated, its because I am.
The waiting is KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I am done with my rant. I feel better now.
*
I am waiting for an answer.
I am waiting for the judge to reach her decision.
I am waiting to hear that we can adopt (S).
I am waiting for the end of this leg of our trip to come to an end.
I am waiting to make plans for the future.
If I appear to be frustrated, its because I am.
The waiting is KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I am done with my rant. I feel better now.
*
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Adoption
*
I am not a big bible person, and while I am spiritual, I don't really consider myself to be very religious. In spite of that, this seems to fit where I am at today.
ROMANS 8:15
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, father.
That's all.
*
I am not a big bible person, and while I am spiritual, I don't really consider myself to be very religious. In spite of that, this seems to fit where I am at today.
ROMANS 8:15
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, father.
That's all.
*
Monday, November 30, 2009
Stability Please
*
So things continued to go the same way for (S). She acted up in school today and for the first time had a wetting accident while there. She wouldn't listen to her teacher on two separate occasions and she is being obstinate. I guess she wouldn't have these problems is the teacher listened to her. :)
The case worker came by today and we mentioned the problems we have been having with (S) since the holidays. We assumed it was because of the age and the excitement and all of the people that were here over the last week. She brought up something we hadn't thought of..............
It was just after Thanskgiving that she was taken from her last home. I said "come on, she was only 2 years old, she couldn't be making that correlation". The case worker insists that could be part of the issue. While (S) may not be able to explain it and may not even know consciously what the problem is, somewhere in her psyche something says that Thanksgiving is not always a sign of good times to come and Happy Holidays, but a sign of loss of something that at the time was very dear to her. Has anyone who has had a foster child for more than a year seen this before? If you have any info you can give it would certainly be appreciated. If on the other hand you are wondering how this plays out, t me know, I will be sure to keep it as a topic over the coming weeks.
I guess this is just a signal of another loss that we hadn't really thought about. This will be her thrid Christmas with us and we try to make it very special for her. I think we succeed at that. I just wish we could start talking more positively about the future and we could convey that in a way that (S) could feel the stability we know she longs for. (Forget the she....we all long for that stability)
+
So things continued to go the same way for (S). She acted up in school today and for the first time had a wetting accident while there. She wouldn't listen to her teacher on two separate occasions and she is being obstinate. I guess she wouldn't have these problems is the teacher listened to her. :)
The case worker came by today and we mentioned the problems we have been having with (S) since the holidays. We assumed it was because of the age and the excitement and all of the people that were here over the last week. She brought up something we hadn't thought of..............
It was just after Thanskgiving that she was taken from her last home. I said "come on, she was only 2 years old, she couldn't be making that correlation". The case worker insists that could be part of the issue. While (S) may not be able to explain it and may not even know consciously what the problem is, somewhere in her psyche something says that Thanksgiving is not always a sign of good times to come and Happy Holidays, but a sign of loss of something that at the time was very dear to her. Has anyone who has had a foster child for more than a year seen this before? If you have any info you can give it would certainly be appreciated. If on the other hand you are wondering how this plays out, t me know, I will be sure to keep it as a topic over the coming weeks.
I guess this is just a signal of another loss that we hadn't really thought about. This will be her thrid Christmas with us and we try to make it very special for her. I think we succeed at that. I just wish we could start talking more positively about the future and we could convey that in a way that (S) could feel the stability we know she longs for. (Forget the she....we all long for that stability)
+
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Bowling
*
(S) went to her first theme birthday party today. It was a bowling party. She had never been bowling before. She was pretty excited about going to begin with since she loves cake and ice cream she was ecstatic.
The girl who was celebrating her birthday is a year older then her. Her mother does foster care and we met her through our original foster care class. We have done respite care for each other on a few occasions and (S) and DW have spent time at her house while the kids play.
Our biggest concern was whether or not (S) would try to throw the ball. Thankfully they were playing candlepins. For those of you in other parts of the country that don't have candlepin bowling, it is very thin pins. They are about as tall as regular pins but only about 2 inches in diameter at their widest point. You also use a much smaller ball. It is about 4 inches in diameter and has no holes in it. You just hold it like a softball and roll it. The lane is about the same, but the rules are a little different. Since the kids weren't playing by the rules or really even care what the score was, I will leave it at that.
Anyway, we got her to the party and got her shoes to wear. Since she loves shoes, she liked that part. She was not happy though when they had to be returned. After that it was step onto a lane and roll a ball. She had a blast. She just kept rolling balls and knocking down pins. The bumpers in the gutters really helped.
She is still lacking in social skills. We know that and she has made great strides in the last year since starting at daycare and now at pre-school, but it still takes her a while to warm up to a situation. She needs one on one attention. She can't just join a crowd of kids and particpate. Hopefully we will have plenty more opportunities to help her build those skills.
Tomorrow is our monthly visit from her case worker. I am hoping she may have some news, but I doubt she will. In the meantime, we will persevere. There is not much else scheduled during this week. Next Saturday is "peek week" at Dance Class, and next Sunday is "cut down a Christmas tree" day so next weekend is looking like fun.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I know we did
(S) went to her first theme birthday party today. It was a bowling party. She had never been bowling before. She was pretty excited about going to begin with since she loves cake and ice cream she was ecstatic.
The girl who was celebrating her birthday is a year older then her. Her mother does foster care and we met her through our original foster care class. We have done respite care for each other on a few occasions and (S) and DW have spent time at her house while the kids play.
Our biggest concern was whether or not (S) would try to throw the ball. Thankfully they were playing candlepins. For those of you in other parts of the country that don't have candlepin bowling, it is very thin pins. They are about as tall as regular pins but only about 2 inches in diameter at their widest point. You also use a much smaller ball. It is about 4 inches in diameter and has no holes in it. You just hold it like a softball and roll it. The lane is about the same, but the rules are a little different. Since the kids weren't playing by the rules or really even care what the score was, I will leave it at that.
Anyway, we got her to the party and got her shoes to wear. Since she loves shoes, she liked that part. She was not happy though when they had to be returned. After that it was step onto a lane and roll a ball. She had a blast. She just kept rolling balls and knocking down pins. The bumpers in the gutters really helped.
She is still lacking in social skills. We know that and she has made great strides in the last year since starting at daycare and now at pre-school, but it still takes her a while to warm up to a situation. She needs one on one attention. She can't just join a crowd of kids and particpate. Hopefully we will have plenty more opportunities to help her build those skills.
Tomorrow is our monthly visit from her case worker. I am hoping she may have some news, but I doubt she will. In the meantime, we will persevere. There is not much else scheduled during this week. Next Saturday is "peek week" at Dance Class, and next Sunday is "cut down a Christmas tree" day so next weekend is looking like fun.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I know we did
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