Saturday, June 27, 2009

Can Rocks Talk?

Since the wedding, things have begun to quiet down a little bit. The last person to leave was my son who I took to the airport on Tuesday so he could go back to Alabama. we had our monthly visit from the caseworker on Friday and then today we got (S) together with all of her bio brothers at another foster parents house. (S) is always happy to see her brothers. She considers them her "friends".

The next youngest child up from (S) does not have any permanency arrangement. His current foster parents will not be adopting him. the next one up has a foster parent who will adopt and the two oldest have foster parents that will become legal guardians. So that leaves the caseworker knowing she needs to find one home anyway and still hoping not to have to find one for (S).

When she visited on Friday, she advised that she had some peronal things going on and asked us not to burst her bubble today and let her continue to believe we are going to asopt (S). The thing is........there is still no decision from the court. Now anyone who was in court can't possibly believe that the preants will retain rights, but I am the type of person that wants to see things in writing.

So the whole family was here for the wedding and while most of them remained silent as far as offering any advice as to what we should do, the newest member of our family before my daughters wedding last week had some interesting words. She said:

" I dont' know why y'all (she is from Georgia) dont' know what you are going to do. Everyone else does."

Apparently the smart money is on us adopting (S). The way we feel this week, that is probably right. the problem is we know that next week we might not feel that way. I think if we don't change our feelings again than that will be the answer.

In searching for an answer I thought about the wedding. While there were many pictures taken of all of the family and we had (S) in most of them, there were some "family" pictures that we didn't have (S) in. I felt really bad about that. We are hoping the photographer will be able to photo-shop her into a few of those pictures. So we do consider her part of the family and we wouldn't have any of the other members leave the family, so it is looking like this one won't leave either.

We are still not sure though. We will continue to seek advice and counsel, and in the meantime, we are going to take (S) to York Beach the week after next for a few days of vacation. She loved it there last year and I love it there every year. I have been going there since before I can remember and it is a good place to do some thinking. There are some rocks on the ocean I will be sitting on and doing some deep thinking. I hope the rocks have some answers for me. If there are any rocks that can talk to me, these can.


Tuesday, June 23, 2009



The ceremony...

The Kiss


The first dance
These are photos from some friends......the professional ones hopefully will be up soon. Thanks to all for your support and thank the lord this week is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Wedding is Over

Yesterday was a wonderful day. My daughter (K) had a great wedding and everything turned out just beautifully. Especially her. We had people come from all over the country. It is really nice to get support from so many people from so many different places. The biggest problem was there just wasn't enough time to spend a lot of time with any of them. a little time here with each.

Thankfully, I will get to spend some more time with my parents in a couple of weeks. It had been a while since I had seen them. I saw my sister when we went to Texas in March, but it was still nice to see her again. Then there were the friends that we hadn't seen in a long time.

It was a great day and things coul not have been better. The only bad thing.....It is over and now we have to face the decision about (S)....By the way, she was absolutely the cutest flower girl I have ever seen!!! One thing for sure....kif we do adopt, we are going to put up a lot of great pictures for everyone to see.

I spoke with the case worker today. She is coming by on Thursday for her monthly visit. She is bringing along more adoption information. The order from the judge should be here by then and our decision can't be that far after......I wish this was easy....oh well......more to follow...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I'm not stressed! damn it!


I have to go away overnight tonight. I have to pick up my son (B) at the airport tomorrow. All the rest of the relatives are coming this weekend. I have my youngest biological daughters wedding on Sunday and we still have no idea about whether or not we are going to adopt (S)!

Really......I'm doing couldn't be better........Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Princess

This past Sunday, DW is at work and (S) and I are home alone for the day. We have a lot of things to do and we start out by running errands. We are not even at the end of the street when the following conversatin takes place.

(S): Who lives with us?

me: DW

(S): then she is the mommy

me: ok

(S): that makes you the daddy

me: ok

(S) so what does that make me?

me: (thinking quick) That makes you the beautiful little girl

(S): No silly! that makes me the princess!

Luckily I was able to keep the car on the road so that we could finish our errands

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Day 1


So today was our first day of meeting with a counselor to get more information about adoption and whatever ramifications there are to consider in making our decision. Of course, after talking with her, we are now more confused then we were before. We are going to see her again next week and probably more than that as well. We really care about making the right decision for (S) and for us. One fear is that the right decision for (S) may not be the right decision for us and visa-versa.

In the meantime, (S) spent the entire night last night in her bedroom. This is the second time in the last 2 weeks or so. We are definitely making progress there. Hopefully it will continue. There is enough stress in our life right now with the wedding for (K) in less than 3 weeks and the decision on (S). We need to get our sleep. Hopefully once the stress of the wedding is over we will be able to see clearly what our decision will be. My fear however is that we will forever be in a fog.

I think I hear DW and (S) driving into the garage. I have to greet (S) at the door as she does that
when I get home.........more to follow

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The hearing is over

Yesterday marked the end of the TPR hearing. Now we are just waiting for the judges decision. I am hopeful he will take some time to make this decision as we still have not decided what we are going to do. we do have an appointment with a social worker for Thursday. We are hoping to get more information about adopting out of foster care and all the ramifications of that considering our age so that we can make an informed decision.

It seems as though every day we feel differently about what we want to do. I ran into a man I work with this past week and he has 2 adopted children. He adopted them after his older kids had left the house and the difference in age between he and his two adopted children is about the same as ours. He doesn't seem to have any regrets at all.

That is really our fear. That we will regret what ever decision it is we make. We don't want to find ourselves with a child we regret having. That would be horrible for all of us. On the other hand, we don't want to let her go and feel like we did the wrong thing that way either. I know I am rambling again, but this is all consuming. It is creating so much additional stress in our life when we least need it. (K)s wedding is in less than three weeks and we still have work to do with that as well. We have family coming from all over the country and that alone creates enough stress. I don't know how people deal with it. I am sure once we make our decision we will be content with it, but boy getting there has been more difficult then trying to explain twitter to my 80 year old parents.

Right now DW and (S) are asleep in each others arms on the recliner while I am watching the game and blogging. These are the moments when the answer is simple...of course we will adopt her. She belongs here...........This sucks