Friday, August 24, 2012

Changes Again


One thing that Shyanne does not do well is change. I am not sure there is anyone that absolutely loves change. After all, people in general like to plan based on a set way things are done. When that set way changes, and plans then have to change, it tends to put a little crimp in what we have been doing. Some people adjust better to those changes than others.

Shyanne is not one who adjusts well to change. Certainly something that is understandable. Quite frankly, I am not one who adjusts all that well to change, but as an adult, I have developed ways to deal with change. I think we all do. The older we get the better coping mechanisms we have.

Well, we are about to have some big changes yet again. I am not sure exactly how big they will be and certainly more will follow, but in the next month or so, I am going to be changing jobs. We are not sure how it is going to work yet, but at the minimum, I will be spending more time commuting every day which will translate into less time at home. Less time to spend with DW and Shyanne. More time they will not have my support available.

I don't mind commuting. At least I don't think I do. We are pretty sure that moving will be out of the question. WE just moved to Cape Cod a year ago. Shyanne has adjusted well after some initial trepidation. We love our home, our neighborhood, and being residents of Cape Cod. We think it would be bad for Shyanne if we moved, and since I am only going to be working another few years or so, this is our planned retirement home as well. Life is good.

So what about the changes? Well, I will write more about that in coming blog entries, but for now, I have a lot of work to do to adjust to these changes.....more to follow.


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Totally Off Topic.......Well, Maybe Not.


I copied this from another blog, and now that I came here to paste it, I can no longer find my way back to get the web address for that other blog. I am so technologically inept at times that it really bothers may. In any event, this is something that I think I will have to use on Shyanne.....when she gets older of course....but for those of you with teenagers, I certainly think it is a good bit of information to pass on to them.

It is actually a good bit of information to pass along to anyone who is teenager or above who thinks the world owes them something. There are way too many people looking for a handout instead of looking to lend a hand. Anyway, like I said, this isn't really on topic, but what the heck. Check it out and see if you agree.

"Northland College (NZ) principal John Tapene has offered the following words from a judge who regularly deals with youth.
"Always we hear the cry from teenagers 'What can we do, where can we go?'
... My answer is, "Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons, and after you've finished, read a book."
"Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun. The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in poverty or sick and lonely again."
"In other words, grow up, stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone, not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important and you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you...""

I believe that my three biological children would be in total agreement with what this judge has said, and I will do my best to ensure that Shyanne grows up with that same ethic. I hope anyone who reads this will do the same for their children.


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How Are Things?


     We have been better about getting Shy to bed at a reasonable hour and that does seem to be helping.

     Obviously we have done nothing about having company, and there will be even more here next week when my BIL, SIL and niece and nephew arrive from Atlanta for a few days.

     We have also tried to keep her from constantly being the center of attention, and have found that difficult. As a child, she has to be paid attention to constantly to make sure that she isn't doing anything that could get her hurt or get her into trouble. Six year old children don't always know what is best for them and you can't leave them totally alone. She also had plenty of attention from her sisters and nephew when we went up to Maine this past weekend.

     As far as things improving. I think they have. I think that the bedtime is very important for Shyanne. She definitely needs to get her sleep. If we have to get her up in the morning, she is not very good. If she gets herself up, everything is great. We just have to get her to bed to make sure she can get herself up. After all, school will start here in 4 weeks and then she and we won't have a choice in the morning.

     One other thing that was recommended that we aren't doing is giving "tickets" for being good so that she can earn things like "play dates" and such. WE definitely have to start doing that and see if that helps as well. WE have to make sure we improve her behavior as best we can. The last thing I want is a child that is acting up in school and is a behavior problem. I can see where that could easily end up happening if we don't nip this problem in the bud now.
     So, we will continue to work towards better behavior, and keep you informed as to how it goes. What works, and what doesn't work. Hopefully we can all learn from these experiences.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Plan

So we went to the therapist and there were a few different explanations offered up by her:

1. It is possible that she is not getting enough sleep?

                   We do let her stay up later in the summer since there is no school in the morning, but she still has been getting up at the same time for her summer camps that she is going to. I guess we have to do a better job of getting her to sleep at a reasonable hour.

2. It is possible that she needs more attention focused on her since she isn't in school, and when she is home she needs to be getting that attention?

                     Well, I think we give her plenty of attention, and I am thinking that because we give her so much attention, and she is essentially an "only child"  that when we do something other than that she isn't used to it. While the therapist is thinking she needs more attention, I am thinking less. I think we have to stop making the world revolve around her. I think we may be doing her an injustice that way. I will mention this next time we visit the therapist and she what she says, but in the meantime, less attention.

3. Is it possible she is overwhelmed by all the visitors to our place?

                       This is a distinct possibility. It is the summer, and we are on Cape Cod, and we do have a lot of people coming to visit, including my mother who is here for over a month. My cousin and her two children and my aunt were here last night as well. We also went over to Martha's Vineyard to see my other cousin. We seem to have people coming around on a regular basis, or making plans to come around. I love having company, but apparently Shyanne is not all that thrilled about it.

So what are we going to do? I am thinking we definitely need to make sure she gets to bed at a more reasonable hour. We also need to stop paying so much attention to her so that she doesn't get upset when we don't. As far as visitors coming  She is just going to have to get used to that. Both DW and I love having company to the house. While sometimes relatives can be a pain in the neck, it is always good to have them come by for a day here or two days there. As far as my mother. she can come and live with us for all I care. Shyanne will just have to get used to it, and I don't think my mother is a problem for her anyway. It is just all the others.

I will let you all know how things work out and what happens. This weekend we are going up to Maine for my grandson's second birthday party, so the attention part will definitely get a trying out here. We don't want Shayanne to have to go cold turkey, but what better way to start paying less attention to Shyanne so that she can learn the world doesn't revolve around her.