I have frequently told my children one thing. "You rarely regret the things in life that you do, but often regret the things in life you don't do.
I think about my own life and look back quite often and say "I wonder how things would have been had I done_______________. Or maybe I would have really enjoyed doing _________
but I didn't when I had the chance.
It goes back to when I was 7 years old and went to summer camp and didn't want to go on a trip in canoes. By the next morning I was sorry I hadn't gone. Now that is something that is realtively minor, but since I remember it after all these years, it must have meant something to me at the time. There are other opportunities that have come up and I regret not giving things a shot or at least trying them out.
I never finished college and regretted that for a long time. I went back to school and got my Bachelors of Science 4 years ago. It has done absolutely nothing for me career wise, or financially. Not only don't I regret doing it, I am still proud that I did.
So what does this have to do with foster care? We have reached a 99 percent decision that we will not adopt (S). We love her and adore her and will miss her greatly when she is gone. She has been wonderful to have with us for the past year and a half. So now I have to ask myself.....Will we regret not having adopted her?
According to my "philosophy" there should be no question that we are going to adpot her. I can see myself regretting it if I should be lucky enough that we both live until 70 and feel quite healthy and fit and we will regret our decision which is partly based on not being able to handle a teenager at that age, or a teenager having to have old parents that are unable to properly "parent" her.
I have written about this dilema quite a bit, but it was only today that my "philosophy" came into my mind and I wonder..........
Tomorrow we go to Dallas for the weekend.