Monday, February 2, 2009

The Trip is On....No parental Visits for at Least 3 Months.

The trip is on......we are really excited and so is (S). Don't ask me why but she really wants to go to the "cowboyzeum" (Cowboy Hall of Fame and Museum). She is also excited about the water park and going to Alabama to see (B). We are also going to spend a weekend in Dallas visiting my sister. She has not yet met (S) and is looking forward to it.

So....... I get to court and there are a lot of people there. There are also a lot of Sheriffs there. Dad was sitting in the parking lot in an Escalade. (I think it belonged to his church President) When he finally came into the courthouse it looked like he bought a new pair of jeans for the occasion. Mom was not with dad and she looked really depressed and alone. I spoke to her briefly. She said that dad is not living with her and the house is very quiet. She is not a well woman and she doesn't work, so I can't imagine what this is like for her. I know she misses (S) tremendously. She asked how (S) was doing and I wasn't sure what to I just reverted to the most sensible thing...I told her the truth........that (S) was fine.

Dad's lawyer asked to be removed from the case. Dad apparently had filed a complaint about him with the bar association. When the judge asked if it was ok if that lawyer was removed from the case dad didn't want him removed. That's right. He filed a complaint, but still wanted him on the case. The judge let the lawyer go and now a new one has to be named. The TPR trial is now set for April 6th, but it won't actually start that day. They will just decide if they are ready. They are estimating 3 days for this trial. There are no visits until at least after that. After that there is the potential that there could be just one visit to say goodbye. I can't imagine what that would be like. It saddens me just to say that.

Now we have been asked about adoption. We are very mixed on this one. On the one hand, we didn't get into this for that purpose, but if we are not going to adopt then it would make sense that they find a foster to adopt family to put (S) with until everything is decided. That means that (S) would be leaving sooner rather than later. We were all ready for her to go home to her parents when they were so close to reunification, but we really aren't ready for her to go with some strangers. I never thought we would be in this position, but we think we are probably too old to adopt a three year old girl. We would be close to 70 by the time she graduated High school.

Enough for today. My mind is turning to mush. Tomorrow I will tell you all the preliminary plans for our trip so you can all offer any suggestions about something we should do.


  1. Have you voiced your thoughts with the caseworker? It would seem pre-emptive to move the girl now with TPR pending. The judge could decide any which way at the trial and if they moved her only to have reunification happen (yes, crazy things like that happen all the time) then that could be another potentially disrupted attachment. April is not very far away and it will be easy for them to find an adoptive placement for a 3 yr old girl with no issues. Surprisingly enough, caseworkers don't always think of these things...

  2. Have a great trip, it will be good for S to have those memories. I wish we could take her for adoption--lol! If there are parents out there like us waiting, then she will get a loving home. Nothing will make you feel better, it is horrible really. I'm so sorry.

  3. That is great that you get to take her with you!! Hope you have a wonderful time :)