Friday, January 20, 2012

My Wish for Today

"Hard to Say Goodbye" has to be somewhere in the lyrics of hundreds of songs. maybe there are even thousands of songs with that line somewhere in the lyrics. That is because it is true, especially for Shy. She just hates saying goodbye. I think it keeps her from saying hello sometimes too, as she knows deep down that when she says hello, that means at some point there will be a good-bye coming.

Yesterday she had her first play-date with a friend coming right home from school with her. They both had a wonderful time. They had a snack when they arrived, and they went right to playing. They played "Sorry" for a little while, then they played with dolls for a while. They had to get dressed up in "princess" clothing and put on a fashion show for DW and I as well. They went outside on the swing-set for about 15 minutes and also played with a few other things. They certainly kept busy.

Then her friend's father arrived at the appointed time (5:30) and Shyanne just started crying. I mean really sobbing. She was so sad that it was time for her friend to go home. It didn't matter how much we told her she would see her again at school in the morning or that she could come over again, she still did not want to say goodbye.

Now I know some of that was because she was having fun and just didn't want the fun to end. That is normal for all of us. But with Shy, it is far beyond that. She has never liked to say good-bye to anyone. No matter who they are or what they were there for.

This morning was yet another example. As usual, she didn't want me to go to work. I was all ready to go and pouring my coffee into my travel mug when I heard her start calling for me and then all of a sudden she was in tears. I went running and found her in the hall on the floor crying. In her rush to get to me before I left, she had fallen right on her face and hurt her nose. She was again in tears. Then when I held her and gave her a hug and a kiss she didn't want to let me go.

Now, all along I have been thinking that this is because she was taken from her family at a very young age and when she said goodbye to her mother that day, she was sure she would be seeing her again, and while she did see her again, eventually it got to the point where she doesn't see her anymore. As a matter of fact, she hasn't seen her mother now for August of 2009, and before August, 2009 had not seen her since January of 2009. So in the last 3 years, she has only seen her that one time 2 1/2 years ago. Keeping in mind she was only 26 months old when she was removed from her family.

I don't know about the inner workings of a child's mind, but I do know that this little girl hates to say good-bye, and when it is me that she hates to say good-bye to, it just makes me feel all that much worse. I hope there is a day when she can overcome this fear/hatred/loathing of saying goodbye. That is my wish for today.


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