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Today was another day that Shy didn't want me to leave. It was actually a night where she came into our bed either very late at night or very early this morning. This was a huge problem when she first came to us, but we had made a lot of progress and she hardly ever comes into our room at night. The past week or so, that has changed.
I wish I knew what the catalyst was for this behavior so that we could deal with it more appropriately, but when she comes in and gets into our bed, and neither of us notices it, it kind of makes it difficult.
We have told her that she can't come into our room before I get up in the morning. Now that is pretty early as my alarm goes off at 5:18am (yeah I know, a strange time, but that's another story). Today I woke up before my alarm at 5:10 and there she was, fast asleep between DW and I. I wasn't going to wake her up and send her back to her room for 8 minutes, so I just went ahead and got up and got ready for work.
When I came out of the shower and into the bedroom, she was up. I needed to give her a big hug and kiss, and after I was all dressed and out in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee to bring to work, she came out of the room, put her arms around me, and wouldn't let go. She just stayed there hugging me.
Again, I wish I knew what triggered these periods of time where she goes through this, but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for it. I guess I will have to keep closer track of when it occurs. We did keep a journal when she first came to us as a foster child with all the details and particulars of everything that happened every day, but after she was with us a while, nothing seemed to be all that important, and since the adoption, we really haven't felt the need.
I think DW and I have to give some thought to keeping a journal so that we can go back and see everything that has happened and if we date it all, then maybe that will help. Anyway, in the meantime, we will just keep assuring Shy that we are here to stay and that we will always be here for her, no matter what.
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Maybe she just misses her big sister SO much!
ReplyDeleteWhat's being said at school? I wasn't adopted but in my early school years talking about the possibility was a very popular topic and classmates had me pretty much convinced that I was. And the drama-discussoin about what might happen was huge; I was terrified to even bring it up at home. Much more influential than one might think, and nothing ever said in front of adults; all little girls sitting around chatting when we should have been up playing something strenuous.
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