Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

(S)'s caseworker came by today for her monthly visit. This was the longest visit we have had in the 18 months that (S) has been here. The conversation was all about adoption. She definitely wants us to adopt (S). Of course the cynical side of me says she wants that as it will be easier for her. The way things work in this state the one case she has now with the 5 children will turn into 5 separate cases after the TPR. The sooner she can get a child adopted the sooner she can eliminate a case from her workload. But as I said, that is the cynical side of me.

She thinks our biggest issue is our age. I think she is right. She says that shouldn't be an issue. I think she is right. She says just because she has younger parents is no guaranteee they will live any longer than we will. I think she is right. She says only we can make the decision for ourselves. I think she is right..

So here is the order of events. June 1st will be the end of the TPR hearing with the last 2 witnesses and closing arguments. After that she expects the judge to rule in favor of a TPR sometime around the middle of June. The bio-parents then have 45 days to file an appeal. If they don't file an appeal then on the 46th day the caseworker will need an answer from us. If we are not going to adopt then she needs to get moving on finding a foster to adopt family for (S). So here it is May 20th and we will need to tell her our decision potentially around August 1st.

One thing is painfully obvious. once we make the decision, whatever it is. If we are going to adopt, it is forever. if we are not going to adopt it is forever.

Come August 1st we may have to give the caseworker an answer. And......It will have to be our final answer.


  1. I really do understand your pain in all this. Our SW never even brought up our age. 43 & 56.
    It was a heart wretching decision. But I'm so glad we made the decision we did (on most days) :)

  2. It is great that you and the wifie are really taking this matter seriously. To many decisions are made on a whim. Age shouldn't be an issue, but needs to be considered...BY YOU!