Thursday, May 14, 2009

New Knowledge


While attending court and listening to all of the testimony I have a new understanding and information about how (S) and her brothers lived. How DHHS got involved with the family to begin with. Why the oldest 1/2 brother was removed from the home previously. What kind of shenanigans were going on in the house. What kind of abuse was suffered and the frequency. I learned how sick both mom and dad are, not only mentally but physically. Instead of writing the everything out, I'll just put my learnings and observations into bullets.

Abuse was emotional, physical and sexual
Abuse came from mom, dad, and an uncle
There may have been abuse of younger children by older children
They lived in a van in the woods for a while
Mom and dad don't think there was ever anything wrong with the way they lived.
Neither mom or dad have worked for at least 3 years.
Abuse was at least weekly (most likely more often) since 2001. (S) is only 3 1/2
Mom and Dad lose their free health care when they lost the children.
I don't think they want the kids. Just the health care.
Dad has absolutely no control over himself. even in court in front of the judge.
Mom never shed a tear the whole time. neither did dad.
There is no way that these parents will ever get their parents back.
This was the first time in 10 years the DA ever feared for his safety
The judge, the GAL, the Caseworker, the DA, and even mom and dads lawyer all only want what is best for the kids.
Mom and Dad only want what is best for them.
Permanency for all 5 children will not be easily accomplished.
Dad actually still thinks he can complete his studies in social work. (yeah, you saw that right)
Mom actually thinks the judge might give her the kids back and not dad.
Mom says she will get help from her mother-in-law (that should keep dad away)

and lastly

We will have to make a decision about (S) in the very near future. Today she told me her most favorite place in the whole world is her home. (the one she shares with us). How can I make her leave her most favorite place in the whole world.

Stay tuned...more to follow on adoption decision. I am hoping writing will help me and DW to make a decision.


  1. What a horrible life she lived before staying with you. But she's lucky to have been blessed with you guys as her foster parents.

  2. My heart breaks for these children, and the many just like them. This is why we foster.