OK, you are not going to believe some of this, but I can assure you all of this is the truth.
Tuesday we didn't bother to go to the hearing. Big mistake. Apparently bio-dad sort of threw a chair at the caseworker at one point during a recess. Anyway, we did go for all of Wednesday. So a couple of foster parents including DW gave testimony as well as more therapists. They also started going out of order and at some point the bio-mom lawyer and the bio-dad lawyer started calling some of their witnesses.
The therapist for (S) said that during therapy (S) had buried a mother and father figure into the sand and she thought it symbolized the burying of her mom and dad. Bio-mom's lawyer when cross-examining asked if it was possible that it was the foster parents as opposed to the biological parents. Of course she had to say yes. (S) has no way of understanding all that. so anyway after that the bio-mom lawyer came over to us and wanted to make sure we knew that she didn't for one minute think that it would have been us and that she was just doing her job. It was really kind of funny but at the same time it was nice. The reason she came over is because bio-mom got mad at her because bio-mom likes us and doesn't want to do anything to make us think poorly of her. (I think it is a little too late for that). but I digress...
Bio-dad's lawyer calls the case worker as a witness. The entire time he is asking the caseworker questions bio-dad is badgering him telling him to ask this question or that question and continually interupting him. When it came time for bio-mom's attorney to ask the questions of the caseworker, bio-dad continued talking with his lawyer and telling him what he needed to do and it got to the point where the judge had to take a recess so that bio-dad and his lawyer could talk. It was obvious that bio-dad has no control over himself. Anyway, that recess ended up lasting until the end of the day so while on Wednesday morning they thought they would finish on Wednesday, they had to come back on Thursday to finish up.
Thursday began with the continuing of questions for the caseworker by bio-mom's lawyer, then the DA and then the GAL. Then the show began. It was time for bio-dad to testify.
His lawyer asked the questions first. I don't think he asked more than 2 questions and he just let bio-dad ramble on and spoke for about an hour and a half. It was a rant although it did make sense when I was able to concentrate. For most of the time he was putting me to sleep. Anyway, bio-mom's lawyer knew better then to ask him anything. The DA asked a couple of questions and you could tell that bio-dad was about to blow. He backed off a bit so there wouldn't be an explosion. the it was time for the GAL to ask some questions. He asked a simple yes or no question and bio-dad started to go on. The GAL said "This is a yes or no question, just give me a yes or no". Bio-dad said "I can't answer it yes or no". the GAL said "I am not going to be as patient with you as the DA was". Bio-dad's lawyer objects saying that the GAL is being argumentative.......It was at this point something was said that had me to the point where I thought I was going to get totally hysterical with laughter and get thrown out of the courtroom. Bio-dad syas to the GAL
"Maybe you need some anger management classes"
I kid you not. It is the truth.
The bad news.........There is no doubt that for all of (S)s life and even while in utero, by their own admission she was subjected to domestic violence of some sort on a weekly basis. That is what they admit to. It was probably even more then that.
I will write more about the lessons learned about (S)s life before being placed with us in the coming days. Right now I am still totally unsure of what we may want to do in terms of adoption. I have made a lot of difficult decisions in my life. I think that is going to be the most difficult.