So these are the questions and the answers are simple:
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"
We just have to determine what season it is and what the purpose is. Of course if we could figure that out..........
So do we want to adopt or not?......and should we discourage, encourage, or ignore (S) calling us mommy and daddy?
Will we even have to answer the adoption question or is the court going to allow mom and/or dad to retain parental rights......
Too many questions and no answers.
We have decided that we are going to do what we think will be best for (S) and not think about us. When we got involved in this it was for the kids and we are not going to change that. I know we will be unhappy if/when she leaves, but that shouldn't matter..... I know that being retired and having a young child is not two things you think about doing at the same time but again, we can't let that play a role in our decision making.
There are plenty of "only children" but neither DW nor I were only children and we think it is better to have siblings living in the same home, not strewn all over the palce with no hope of additional members of the family. A mark against adoption.
(S) knows us and probably doesn't remember living anywhere else in her life. If she never leaves here, there will be far less trauma to overcome.....a mark for adoption
We are old and will not be able to do things like be a girl scout troop leader, or coaching little league and that type of thing. A old mom and dad are not able to do those things like a younger mom and dad can......a mark against adoption.
So every day we come up with more and more different reasons why we should or shouldn't adopt (S) if and when the time comes to make a decision. I still like the idea of not making a decision until we have to, but with all that has to go into this decision I guess we have to give it some thought..
Tomorrow is another day in court.