Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bio Mom and Dad


DW called and told me that when she picked up (S) at pre-school today the teacher said that she had mentioned her "other parents" for the first time. I guess she was very surprised by that. This is the second time in the last month or so that they have come up.

She doesn't indicate that she mises them, or even that she wants to see them or be with them. She just seems to acknowledge their existence in her life at one time. We think she may be having memories from that time in her life even though she was very young. Since I have been gone, there have been times when DW has been scolding her and she has said "Don't hurt me". We have never done anything fro her to think that we might, and while there was an extreme amount of violence in her birth home, as far as we knew, none of it was directed towards her.

I guess we need to talk about this with her therapist. You know I say her therapist, and that is what she is. A play therapist. I find though that she spends just as much time talking with DW and I about things as she does (S).

I am always bothered when she brings up her bio family. I am not sure why. It just bothers me. I don't know if it is because of the way her life began with that family that I wish she had no memory of it. I don't know if it is that I want to be the only father she knows and feel a little jealous.(In my head, I know that would be silly). Maybe it is just that DW and I often say we can no longer remember life without her, and I don't want her to remember life without us. I don't know what it is, it just bothers me.

She did acknowledge to her teacher that DW and I were her "real" parents, but I have no idea what she means by that. I am sure she doesn't know either. There are many times when I am happy she really has no idea of what is going on and how she came to be with us, but there are also times when I wish she was old enough so that we could have a complete conversation about it. That time will come....probably faster then I want it to.

On the bright side, she went for her kindergarten registration and screening and the school principal told DW that (S) was a very bright little girl. That is nice to hear.


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