Friday, October 2, 2009

An Occurrence

For those of you who have been reading this blog, one of the issues we had been strugling with was whether or not we would adopt (S) if ultimately that is her fate. We thought about it quite extensively during the time it looked like there was going to be a TPR and the need to make a decision in June or July. The judge essentially decided he didn't want to make a decision so now we are waiting for a new hearing before a new judge sometime in November. Our "final answer" was put on hold, thus giving us more time to debate with ourselves. (we aren't really debating anymore as we have decided what will we do if those circumstances occur.)

Part of the debate was whether or not we were too old to adopt a 4 year old child. DW and I are both in our mid 50's and our youngest child is about to turn 27.

We thought about all sorts of reasons why we were too old and all sorts of reasons why we weren't too old. well yesterday there was an occurrence. It seemed to fit into the "too old" column.

(S) is going to a preschool now and doing quite well. She loves going there and has made many friends in her class. There is even one boy who she says can make funny noises and everyone laughs. I didn't think there were class clowns at age 4 but apparently there are. I am sure his parents are proud! Anyway I digress.

Yesterday I went to pick her up from her school and there was another mother there picking up her child as well. Nothing real unusual there until I took particular note of the other mother. I am thinking is that "T"? No, it can't be "T". By golly it was "T". And who is "T" you ask? Well, she dated my son when he was in high school. They say you are only as young as or as old as you feel. At that moment I felt pretty old. She probably thought I was picking up a grandchild.


when you are driving home from preschool and (S) is sitting in the back seat of the car and she says "Daddy, I love you" well.....need I say more?



  1. Yippee! I think that means "yes." Being older parents is challenging (and having grandchildren and children the same age is too), but there is also the up side of knowing wha't really important, and appreciating all those special moments of making a difference in a child's life. I may not be the BEST mom for our little guy, but I AM his mom - forever. (At least that's the plan, just not final yet.)

  2. just take it day by day... I am sure the right thing wil be very apprent in the end

  3. I know I commented back when you were debating whether you were too old to adopt that my partner was adopted by her biological paternal grandparents, who have about the same age gap to her that you do to S. I'm coming into foster care adoption from the other side: at your children's age I'm having to consider parenting a child who's only 12 years younger than I am, who could never have physically been my child. Because I'm thinking more about how that feels weird but how it's also doable and worth pursuing, I'm sympathetic to your awkward situations.

  4. Well, lots of people think we have no business wanting to adopt a baby when we already have 3 kids of our own. Families are families...there isn't a perfect scenario. And yes, class clowns start young! Our class clown was one at times