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Well, the first package went into the State Capitol last Wednesday. Now we have to wait for it to be processed and returned so that we can move onto the Probate Court and package number 2. I know things are going slow and it is very frustrating, but we will persevere.
Second, we went to "sneak peak" day at Kindergarden......All did not go well.......While (S) seemed very happy with her teacher (DW and I were happy with her too) and (S) seemed happy with the other children that were in her room although she was a little shy (that makes me laugh....get it Mel?) DW and I were happy too. (S) seemed happy with her classroom too......unfortunately, DW and I are not. Apparently the school had more classes then they had planned and there weren't enough classrooms for all of the classes. (S) has been palced in a classroom that must be half the size of all the other classrooms and there is absolutely no room to move. Imagine what it is going to be like with 16 students and a teacher!!!
There is no place for children to hang up their coats. There is no place for snow pants or boots, and in the little area the teacher has set aside for story reading she will be lucky to fit 4 children. I can't imagine what she will be doing with the rest of the 5 year olds. I also can't imagine what it will be like on a rainy day with 16 children crammed into this small space. They must be crazy!!!
So I called the superintendant's office and of course since school isn't in session (I guess she takes all Fridays off) she wasn't in her office. I left a message on her machine telling her that the classroom space was unacceptable and that I expect a call from her on Monday morning to find out how she is going to remedy this problem. While I really only care about (S), I hope her solution isn't to just move (S) into another classroom. That won't do any good for all the other children assigned to the closet.
If they need another calssroom, then they need to rent a portable classroom so that children can have the adequate space they need. While I am thinking this is going to be one of many encounters with an apparently incompetant school system.....I am hoping that it will be the last....we shall see, and I will be sure to let you all know.
(By the way, I did check with the state and while they have some regulations regarding class size in terms of teacher/student ratios, there are no regulations regarding square footage....just guidelines.....The guidelines now are 800 sq feet for a classroom....This room is lucky to have 1/2 that.....it is really a shame)
Anyway, today is a "home day" so I am off to play with (S) and have a good time for her last weekend before the "big girl" starts Kindergarden!!!
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Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Kindergarden
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Next week (S) will be starting kindergarden. She gets to visit her classroom and meet her teacher on Thursday. She has been very nervous about this next step in her life. She has wet her bed two nights this week. She also had an accident at the "Y" camp she has been going to.
She knows she is nervous about starting kindergarden and I am hopeful once she gets to see her classroom and meet her teacher she will be feeling a little better about starting next week.
As for me....well I remember when (A) started school and how exciting a time that was for DW and I. I remember when (B) started school and I thought that was pretty cool too. It was different when (K) started school. She was our youngest (at the time) and it seemed like we were now entering a new time of our life. No more children in the house 24 hours a day. While it was exciting and we anticipated a different kind of life, it was also kind of sad. We were saying goodbye to that way of life and really didn't know what the future held.
Now we know what the future held for us. All has turned out well. (A), (B), and (K) all continue to grow and are doing well. They continually make us proud (and are making us grandparents) and I often wonder how we got so lucky.
I know that (S) will make us proud as well. She is such a wonderful and loving little girl. I can't wait to see what the future holds for her. ........ And that is exciting!!
Next week (S) will be starting kindergarden. She gets to visit her classroom and meet her teacher on Thursday. She has been very nervous about this next step in her life. She has wet her bed two nights this week. She also had an accident at the "Y" camp she has been going to.
She knows she is nervous about starting kindergarden and I am hopeful once she gets to see her classroom and meet her teacher she will be feeling a little better about starting next week.
As for me....well I remember when (A) started school and how exciting a time that was for DW and I. I remember when (B) started school and I thought that was pretty cool too. It was different when (K) started school. She was our youngest (at the time) and it seemed like we were now entering a new time of our life. No more children in the house 24 hours a day. While it was exciting and we anticipated a different kind of life, it was also kind of sad. We were saying goodbye to that way of life and really didn't know what the future held.
Now we know what the future held for us. All has turned out well. (A), (B), and (K) all continue to grow and are doing well. They continually make us proud (and are making us grandparents) and I often wonder how we got so lucky.
I know that (S) will make us proud as well. She is such a wonderful and loving little girl. I can't wait to see what the future holds for her. ........ And that is exciting!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Light for her Weight!?!?!?
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On Tuesday morning we got the full disclosure from DHHS on all issues related to (S), and also filled out Packet Number 2. While there were some surprises, they was nothing major. One of the medical reports made me laugh. It said she was "light for her weight". Nowhere did it mention she was short for her height, so I guess she has that going for her. :)
There were many inconsistencies in the different reports as to what her first 2 years of life were like, however the general indication was that things were pretty messed up..........but we already knew that and it was no surprise.
When I asked about the first package, I was told it had not been sent in yet because they were still waiting for something from the Guardian Ad Litem (GAL). Wonderful! How long will we be waiting now. Anyway, after the meeting I left the GAL a voice message asking him to please take care of what he needed to take care of. I told him that DW, I and (S) would all appreciate it.
The CW also asked us to be fill out the paperwork we had received for the Probate Court. Naturally we filled that out in the evening, and I had it to DHHS first thing on Wednesday morning. First thing yesterday (Thursday) morning, I left a voicemail for the CW asking if she had received my packet, if it was correct, and whether or not they had received what they needed from the GAL to get Packet number 1 moving along.
I haven't heard anything back yet, but it is only 7:30am local time and The Mystery Mansion hasn't opened up yet.
On a lighter note, we got (S) new school shoes and sneakers for her first day of kindergarden (September 1). Luckilly her feet aren't too short for their length, so shoes were easy to find.
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On Tuesday morning we got the full disclosure from DHHS on all issues related to (S), and also filled out Packet Number 2. While there were some surprises, they was nothing major. One of the medical reports made me laugh. It said she was "light for her weight". Nowhere did it mention she was short for her height, so I guess she has that going for her. :)
There were many inconsistencies in the different reports as to what her first 2 years of life were like, however the general indication was that things were pretty messed up..........but we already knew that and it was no surprise.
When I asked about the first package, I was told it had not been sent in yet because they were still waiting for something from the Guardian Ad Litem (GAL). Wonderful! How long will we be waiting now. Anyway, after the meeting I left the GAL a voice message asking him to please take care of what he needed to take care of. I told him that DW, I and (S) would all appreciate it.
The CW also asked us to be fill out the paperwork we had received for the Probate Court. Naturally we filled that out in the evening, and I had it to DHHS first thing on Wednesday morning. First thing yesterday (Thursday) morning, I left a voicemail for the CW asking if she had received my packet, if it was correct, and whether or not they had received what they needed from the GAL to get Packet number 1 moving along.
I haven't heard anything back yet, but it is only 7:30am local time and The Mystery Mansion hasn't opened up yet.
On a lighter note, we got (S) new school shoes and sneakers for her first day of kindergarden (September 1). Luckilly her feet aren't too short for their length, so shoes were easy to find.
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Sunday, August 15, 2010
Frst Package
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Last Monday we filled out the first package of paperwork required for the adoption. That package along with some paperwork from the District Attorney's office needs to be sent to the state capitol. When that returns, a second package needs to be filled out and sent to the state capitol.
We have an appointment to fill out that second package on Tuesday am. That will also be the monthly visit with the CW for (S).
The first package didn't take all that long to fill out, so why we couldn't fill out both at the same time is beyond me. Of course, there is no help coming from the DHHS people. They are really incompetant. One would think they really cared about the children, but the reality is that they care about themselves. They like complaining about the work they have to do, and they don't wnat anyone puching them. I tried to get answers to questions and then got told by the CWs boss that some pepole don't like when people are pushy.
You can draw whatever conclusion you want from that. I'll draw my own and move forward. I did call the GAL and ask him for whatever help he could provide to move the process along, but whether or not that will happen remains to be seen.
So for right now, the process moves at the Mystery Mansion's pace. At least there are no major hurdles to overcome....except of course those of the beaurocracy......
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Last Monday we filled out the first package of paperwork required for the adoption. That package along with some paperwork from the District Attorney's office needs to be sent to the state capitol. When that returns, a second package needs to be filled out and sent to the state capitol.
We have an appointment to fill out that second package on Tuesday am. That will also be the monthly visit with the CW for (S).
The first package didn't take all that long to fill out, so why we couldn't fill out both at the same time is beyond me. Of course, there is no help coming from the DHHS people. They are really incompetant. One would think they really cared about the children, but the reality is that they care about themselves. They like complaining about the work they have to do, and they don't wnat anyone puching them. I tried to get answers to questions and then got told by the CWs boss that some pepole don't like when people are pushy.
You can draw whatever conclusion you want from that. I'll draw my own and move forward. I did call the GAL and ask him for whatever help he could provide to move the process along, but whether or not that will happen remains to be seen.
So for right now, the process moves at the Mystery Mansion's pace. At least there are no major hurdles to overcome....except of course those of the beaurocracy......
*
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Off Topic?????
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Maybe, but I think not.....
After all, while this may be a blog about foster care and the journey DW and I have been on since December, 2007, it is really about more than that.......It is about family.......
So, our lovely daughter (K) and her husband have made DW and I grandparents for the first time. That's right!!! We are now grandparents.......Papa, and Grandma to be exact. We are both very excited. as I have mentioned often in the past, we are building our family exponentially, and this is the first step in that process. The baby is a boy. (L) as he will be referred to here.
He was born yesterday afternoon at 4:58pm. He was 6 lbs 10 oz and 20 inches long. He looks like his father, but with a little luck he has plenty of time to grow out of it. He is adorable, and being a papa is absolutely wonderful. I have asked (K) many times in the last 18 hours whether or not he has asked for me, but the answer has always been no. Maybe soon.
Anyway, (S) has informed DW that it is far more exciting and surprising to become an Aunt then it is to become a Grandma or Papa. If you don't mind, I will silently disagree with her. I have been an Uncle many times over. This Papa deal is far better!
That's enough about this. Trust me when I say we are all very happy and excited......... We had our first meeting with the caseworker to sign adoption papers and I will make that the next blog entry, but right now, I am off to be Papa.
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Maybe, but I think not.....
After all, while this may be a blog about foster care and the journey DW and I have been on since December, 2007, it is really about more than that.......It is about family.......
So, our lovely daughter (K) and her husband have made DW and I grandparents for the first time. That's right!!! We are now grandparents.......Papa, and Grandma to be exact. We are both very excited. as I have mentioned often in the past, we are building our family exponentially, and this is the first step in that process. The baby is a boy. (L) as he will be referred to here.
He was born yesterday afternoon at 4:58pm. He was 6 lbs 10 oz and 20 inches long. He looks like his father, but with a little luck he has plenty of time to grow out of it. He is adorable, and being a papa is absolutely wonderful. I have asked (K) many times in the last 18 hours whether or not he has asked for me, but the answer has always been no. Maybe soon.
Anyway, (S) has informed DW that it is far more exciting and surprising to become an Aunt then it is to become a Grandma or Papa. If you don't mind, I will silently disagree with her. I have been an Uncle many times over. This Papa deal is far better!
That's enough about this. Trust me when I say we are all very happy and excited......... We had our first meeting with the caseworker to sign adoption papers and I will make that the next blog entry, but right now, I am off to be Papa.
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Thursday, August 5, 2010
Can You Spell Frustration?
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yeah, I know.....F - R - U - S - T - R - A - T - I - O - N.................................or maybe D - H - H - S
Two weeks ago when we first got word that the Supreme Court had ruled and we could move forward with the adoption process I called DHHS. I wanted an appointment as soon as possible so we could move forward with our process.
When I spoke with the the caseworker she was unable to meet with me that week or last week and the earliest she could meet this week was Thursday. She has been so unreliable I made 2 appointments. One for today and one for Monday. It is a shame that I had to do that because of how unreliable she is, but I did.
Unfortunately, I'm glad I did. She didn't make today's appointment. She left a message to call her to make an appointment but when I called, she had left for the day and since tomorrow is a furlough day she won't be back until Monday.....
I left her a message on both her office and cell phone voice mail reminding her that we had another appointment for Monday and we would expect to see her at our house then. If she was not going to be able to make that to call. I also told her I thought it was horrible that I had to make those two appointments because of her lack of reliability.
Oh, and another thing. when she left the message that she wouldn't be here she said she needed to get more informaiton from us too. She has had 2 weeks to fill out her paperwork and now she tells us she needs more information. By the way,......she didn't tell us what it was she needed. I don't know how she expects to get it.
THIS CASE WORKER IS INCOMPETANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also left a message with her supervisor, but she apparently isn't too concerned because she hasn't called me back and I am sure I won't hear from her before Monday either. Unfortunately, there is no where else for me to go. I do plan on asking the caseworkers supervisor who her supervisor is. I am that frustrated with this process. (S) has been in state custody for almost 3 years and they are no closer to getting her permanency then they were the day they took her into custody. You know, the day they took her into custody and we brought her home I didn't really care about how long she stayed in custody. We were only a short term stop until the state got things straightened out for her and her brothers and found them something more permanent
That was fine then. I didn't know (S) and I didn't know much about the process.
That is not fine now. Now we love (S) and to answer Tina Turner's question.......That's what love's got to do with it!!!!!!
We will get this process over with as soon as we possibly can, given our DHHS handicap and it will not matter where you are, you will hear us partying!!
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yeah, I know.....F - R - U - S - T - R - A - T - I - O - N.................................or maybe D - H - H - S
Two weeks ago when we first got word that the Supreme Court had ruled and we could move forward with the adoption process I called DHHS. I wanted an appointment as soon as possible so we could move forward with our process.
When I spoke with the the caseworker she was unable to meet with me that week or last week and the earliest she could meet this week was Thursday. She has been so unreliable I made 2 appointments. One for today and one for Monday. It is a shame that I had to do that because of how unreliable she is, but I did.
Unfortunately, I'm glad I did. She didn't make today's appointment. She left a message to call her to make an appointment but when I called, she had left for the day and since tomorrow is a furlough day she won't be back until Monday.....
I left her a message on both her office and cell phone voice mail reminding her that we had another appointment for Monday and we would expect to see her at our house then. If she was not going to be able to make that to call. I also told her I thought it was horrible that I had to make those two appointments because of her lack of reliability.
Oh, and another thing. when she left the message that she wouldn't be here she said she needed to get more informaiton from us too. She has had 2 weeks to fill out her paperwork and now she tells us she needs more information. By the way,......she didn't tell us what it was she needed. I don't know how she expects to get it.
THIS CASE WORKER IS INCOMPETANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also left a message with her supervisor, but she apparently isn't too concerned because she hasn't called me back and I am sure I won't hear from her before Monday either. Unfortunately, there is no where else for me to go. I do plan on asking the caseworkers supervisor who her supervisor is. I am that frustrated with this process. (S) has been in state custody for almost 3 years and they are no closer to getting her permanency then they were the day they took her into custody. You know, the day they took her into custody and we brought her home I didn't really care about how long she stayed in custody. We were only a short term stop until the state got things straightened out for her and her brothers and found them something more permanent
That was fine then. I didn't know (S) and I didn't know much about the process.
That is not fine now. Now we love (S) and to answer Tina Turner's question.......That's what love's got to do with it!!!!!!
We will get this process over with as soon as we possibly can, given our DHHS handicap and it will not matter where you are, you will hear us partying!!
*
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Imaginary Conversations
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I spend time these days having imaginary conversations with (S) answering the questions I think I know she will ask when she gets older. I don't know exactly when these questions will come. I don't even know if they will come. It is more the questions I think I would ask. I will probably be all prepared to answer these questions and she will ask something I am totally unprepared for. So anyway....
(S)..........Why didn't my bio-parents love me?
Me........Oh, they did love you (S). They loved you very much.
I don't ever want (S) to think that she was unloved or undeserving of love.
(S)........Why didn't they try to keep me then instead of letting the state take me away
Me......Well, they did try to keep you. They tried very hard. They even went to the Supreme Court of the State to try to keep you.
This is what we have been waiting for so long. They never had a chance but at least they tried. (S) doesn't need to know how bad their case was.
(S)......So why didn't they keep me?
Me......Well, they were not able to keep you safe. It is very important that children be safe and so they worked with the state to find us so that we could keep you safe and love you.
I am told that children understand being safe...I hope so
(S).......So how come my biological parents didn't love me the way you and mommy love me?
Me........Well sweetie, There is the quote I heard a long time ago that goes like this:
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they've got."
I do believe that her biological parents love their children with everything thay have. They just didn't have what it takes to safely raise a family.
So now the question for me is: At what age will these questions be asked, and at what age are these answers the appropriate ones? I remember back when "A" "B" and "K" were liittle and wondering similar things. When the time came, I think I did the right thing and gave the right answers. Even if I didn't they turned out pretty good. All three of my children make me proud almost daily.
When all is said and done, I am sure (S) will too.
I spend time these days having imaginary conversations with (S) answering the questions I think I know she will ask when she gets older. I don't know exactly when these questions will come. I don't even know if they will come. It is more the questions I think I would ask. I will probably be all prepared to answer these questions and she will ask something I am totally unprepared for. So anyway....
(S)..........Why didn't my bio-parents love me?
Me........Oh, they did love you (S). They loved you very much.
I don't ever want (S) to think that she was unloved or undeserving of love.
(S)........Why didn't they try to keep me then instead of letting the state take me away
Me......Well, they did try to keep you. They tried very hard. They even went to the Supreme Court of the State to try to keep you.
This is what we have been waiting for so long. They never had a chance but at least they tried. (S) doesn't need to know how bad their case was.
(S)......So why didn't they keep me?
Me......Well, they were not able to keep you safe. It is very important that children be safe and so they worked with the state to find us so that we could keep you safe and love you.
I am told that children understand being safe...I hope so
(S).......So how come my biological parents didn't love me the way you and mommy love me?
Me........Well sweetie, There is the quote I heard a long time ago that goes like this:
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they've got."
I do believe that her biological parents love their children with everything thay have. They just didn't have what it takes to safely raise a family.
So now the question for me is: At what age will these questions be asked, and at what age are these answers the appropriate ones? I remember back when "A" "B" and "K" were liittle and wondering similar things. When the time came, I think I did the right thing and gave the right answers. Even if I didn't they turned out pretty good. All three of my children make me proud almost daily.
When all is said and done, I am sure (S) will too.
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