Mixed Bag

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Tonight we went Trick or Treating at the mall. The place was jammed with kids and it was a great time for (S). She was Tinkerbelle and seemed to have a great time. We went with her BFF and now her BFF is spending the night. Tomorrow morning will be pancakes.

Next week the licensing person will come to our house to do the extended home study we need. We are going to change our license from a "foster care" license to a "foster to adopt" license. I am not sure what additional is required, but we will find out when the adoption specialist shows up on Wednesday.

In the meantime we have court dates. November 16, 17, and 18 are scheduled for the TPR hearing. That means there could be a decision made before Christmas. Of course then there is an appeal that is likely and another wait for 3 or 4 months. In any event, we will be ready when the time comes to do whatever it is we need to do........I hope.

We have also signed up for a class so we can get our hours done because our foster license expires in February. The first class is for toddlers and preschool age children and the next course we are going to take is about kids who have suffered trauma. Of course both of those will fit well with (S) and hopefully provide us with information so that we are better able to understand her and any foibles she may have.

I don't know if that will be enough as I am not sure what is actually requried, but that is something else we can find out next week.

This past week we took (S) to her first movie. "Astro Boy". We saw it at a place called Chunky's and it was great. It is a combination restaurant and theater and it was a great place for (S) to see her first movie. She had a blast and we were with other kids and they had a great time too. The burgers were also pretty good. The one we went to is in Nashua, but I guess there are a few of them around the Nashua area and I think there is one in Sanford, Maine as well. We had never heard of it before, but if we are ever in the area again, it will be a definite to go there.
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Any ideas?

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As most of you who have been reading this blog know, we have had trouble getting (S) to go to bed in her room and stay there.

We have solved the problem with getting her to go to sleep in her room. We set up a DVD player and let her watch movies in her bed until she falls asleep. While it is not something I would normally condone, we think it is best that she fall asleep in her own bedroom instead of on the couch in the den.

What we still haven't solved is the getting up in the middle of the night and coming to sleep on the floor in our room. At one point she had mentioned monsters so we sprayed her room with "Monster Elimination Spray" (available at fine stores everywhere). That seemed to work a little bit for a couple of days, but it is no longer solving the problem.

We haven't been sure what to do because we didn't know why she preferred sleeping on the floor in our room. Last night something happened that I think says it all.

(S) had fallen asleep in her room and I had turned off the TV and tucked her in for the night (or at least until she woke up and came into our room). DW and I were still in the den watching TV and we heard (S) get up. We figured it wouldn't be long before she was in the den, so we waited. Next thing, we are just hearing some crying that is more than the normal crying. I went out into the hall to see her walking back into her bedroom fron our bedroom crying. I spoke up and she turned around and came to me and hugged me.

It turned out that when she didn't see us in the bedroom she thought we had left. I don't know where she thought we had gone, or what she was going to do in her room alone, or why we had even left.

While most nights she sleeps next to DW on the floor, on a rare occasion she will sleep next to me on the floor. Either way, it is near impossible to move out of the bed without nearly stepping on her, and probably waking her up. The answer now is becoming clearer. I think she is just afraid of losing us. That would also explain why it started when she was visiting with bio-mom and dad in their "home to be" where she had her own bedroom and there were unsuprvised visits. There had to be talk about her living there, and since she has no real memory of living anywhere but with us, it obviously caused her a great deal of concern.

OK, so if we have correctly identified the root of the problem, we should be able to solve it, right? So what do we do? Any ideas are appreciated.
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Thanks to Nichole....I think

First.....Happy Birthday to DW!!!!

Thank you Nichole http://nottheusualtickingclock.blogspot.com/ for nominating me :) This is my first time and I am not sure what I am supposed to do, but I am game for anything.........7 THINGS ABOUT MYSELF THAT READERS MAY NOT KNOW:
1) My career is in aviation.
2. In spite of number 1, I don't do heights at all
3. I never thought I would have a foster child or even consider adopting a child.
4. My favorite place to be is York Beach, Maine.
5. I married my high school sweetheart and 34 years later she is still my sweetheart and best friend.
6. I know money isn't everything, but given the choice, I would rather be rich. :)
7. If I had the oportunity to live my life all over again, I don't think I would change a thing.
8. Thats right...a bonus....If I knew how to do those links, I would nominate people also, but I haven't got that part down yet. As soon as I figure it our, I will get to it.

Thanks again to Nichole

We Think She is Very Bright.....We Could be Wrong

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(S) has done a lot of things that make us say "We think she is very bright". She has great skills for recognizing places and she remembers enough about books to almost read them herself. She was putting her index fingers and thumbs together today and said "Look I made a diamond."

There have been other instances as well. some of which I have documented on this blog and some that I just let go by the boards. Like the time I told her we had to let the meat rest and she went and got the aluminum foil out of the drawer without me even mentioning it.

Then there was this morning...

She had Corn Flakes for breakfast. She loves Corn Flakes and was making her own breakfast. She put the Corn Flakes into the bowl (She spilled a lot and we had quite a laugh over that). She put the Sugar into her bowl. I cut some banana and she put that into the bowl. She was then looking at the cereal box while awaiting me to help her with the milk.

There is a recipe on the side of the box for Crispy Chocolate Bars. If you are interested in the recipe, you can find it here:
http://www2.kelloggs.com/Recipe/RecipeDetail.aspx?RID=941

So anyway, she is looking at that side of the box and there is this picture of about 6 of these delicious looking chocolate crsipy bars to go with the recipe. If you check it out, you will see that they look a little like brownies. It would be easy to understand if someone said "look at the brownies" and I wouldn't be writing this particular post, but what she said in a very excited voice like she just had a serendipitous discovery is:

Daddy,Look!!, Corn Flakes are made from Brownies.

We could be wrong.

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4 Year Checkup

(S) had her 4 year checkup today and I am happy to report she is doing great. When she first came to us and we took her for a medical check the Doctor classified her as a "failure to thrive" because she was so small and thin that she wasn't even on the charts. She was also very pale and her cheeks were sunken in a little bit. It really wasn't pretty for a 2 year old.

Now at her 4 year check, I am happy to report that not only is she on the chart, but she is up to the 25th percentile. Certainly not a large child, but considering where she was, the doctor is very happy with the way she looks and the progress she has made

On a seperate note, we saw Bio-dads name in the court news yesterday. There were 13 different charges against him. I still can't figure out why he isn't in prison. I really need someone to explain this justice system to me. Every day you hear about people who spent years in prison and were exonerated because of new DNA evidence, but this loser has only spen a few weeks in jail.

Dance and a Birthday

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Yesterday was a geat day for (S). Dance class was a little scary for her at first and she really didn't want anything to do with the tap dancing. Everyone there knew what they were doing and she didn't and she just sat there with DW watching. Then they started the ballet and she was into that and started dancing and even talked with another little girl in the class. We are hoping that next week she will fully participate.

Then we came home and prepared for the little family birthday party. (S) was excited to see everyone and even more excited to see her presents. She really liked her new princess bicycle. She was riding it around in the garage both yesterday and today......I know my bio-kids are going to have a fit if/when they read this but.....DW let her bring the bicycle in the house today and ride it around the kitchen living room and dining room,

After the party she went with her best friend to Build-a-Bear. While she was gone, (A)s boyfriend and I put up the swingset that he had given us for (S). Ahen (S) got home and saw it, she was absolutely thrilled. I think that may have been the best part of the day for her. She played on the swings for a long time.

The best part of the day was that she was so busy and going all day, she fell asleep in her own room again. We have finally got that down. It has been a few days since she has had to fall asleep in the den with us. We have hooked up a DVD player in there and let her fall asleep while watching a movie. The only thing left now is getting her to stay there for the whole night. Every morning we wake up and find her sleeping on the floor in our room.

One note.....She is still hyper sensitive to loud sounds. Today there was a siren off in the distance and she was getting very upset about it. DW had to bring her inside. We don't know if it is actually the sound or if there is a memory associated with the siren If there is, we don't know if it is Fire Truck, Ambulance, or Police. She seems to be most concerned about ambulences, but we are not sure.

All in all, it has been a good weekend and we still have one more day left. We are making cupcakes to bring to school on Tuesday for her class birthday party.

Big Day Saturday

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Saturday is going to be a big day for (S). She will be celebrating her 4th brithday with family and friends.

I just looked at that and wondered whether or not I had to specify that it is not her bio family, but rather us. DW, (S),me, (A), (K) and the rest of the gang. Well, I guess I just did that......anyway

That is not all that is happening on Saturday. DW went out today anf bought leotards, and tights. Tomorrow we get the ballet slippers and the tap shoes. Her first dance class is Saturday morning. She is so looking forward to it. I cna't wait to see her in class. She has never really been in that kind of an environment until just last month and this will be a little different.

Anyway, we are all excited about Saturday as is (S). I can't wait to tgell you all about it!

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Where are the men?

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I have had this blog going since last December. I started it when it was getting close to the time when (S) was going to be going back to her biological family. Unfortunately, that never happened for her and now the state is going through the TPR process. Anyway, I started this blog and at the same time started following other blogs that deal with foster care and adoption. There are many good blogs out there. Some of the ones I follow are listed to the left side of this page. There are others as well.

They all have two things in common. The most important is that they are all interesting and enjoyable reading pertaining to adoption and foster care. The other thing they all have in common is that they are all written by women.

The only comments that have been made in the 150 or so entries I have made over 10 months have been made by women. They are all seemingly wonderful women who have a genuine interest and passion for foster care and/or adoption. They all care about the children in their care, or are anxiously awaiting the first child to come into their family. While I have never met most of them, I consider them all to be valuable sources of information. It does however leave me with the one question:

Where are the Men? Am I the only one here?
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An Occurrence

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For those of you who have been reading this blog, one of the issues we had been strugling with was whether or not we would adopt (S) if ultimately that is her fate. We thought about it quite extensively during the time it looked like there was going to be a TPR and the need to make a decision in June or July. The judge essentially decided he didn't want to make a decision so now we are waiting for a new hearing before a new judge sometime in November. Our "final answer" was put on hold, thus giving us more time to debate with ourselves. (we aren't really debating anymore as we have decided what will we do if those circumstances occur.)

Part of the debate was whether or not we were too old to adopt a 4 year old child. DW and I are both in our mid 50's and our youngest child is about to turn 27.

We thought about all sorts of reasons why we were too old and all sorts of reasons why we weren't too old. well yesterday there was an occurrence. It seemed to fit into the "too old" column.

(S) is going to a preschool now and doing quite well. She loves going there and has made many friends in her class. There is even one boy who she says can make funny noises and everyone laughs. I didn't think there were class clowns at age 4 but apparently there are. I am sure his parents are proud! Anyway I digress.

Yesterday I went to pick her up from her school and there was another mother there picking up her child as well. Nothing real unusual there until I took particular note of the other mother. I am thinking is that "T"? No, it can't be "T". By golly it was "T". And who is "T" you ask? Well, she dated my son when he was in high school. They say you are only as young as or as old as you feel. At that moment I felt pretty old. She probably thought I was picking up a grandchild.

But.....

when you are driving home from preschool and (S) is sitting in the back seat of the car and she says "Daddy, I love you" well.....need I say more?

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