I leave for Cape Cod.
I start working the new job on Monday, and also have to find a new home for DW, Shy and myself. I can't begin to tell you how stressful this is/has been/will be.
Shy seems to be oblivious to the whole thing. She got upset when we started packing some toys, but when we told her we would unpack them again when we got to the Cape, she was ok. I still don't think she has a firm grasp of what is happening with the move, but in time, I am sure whe will get it, and be fine.
One thing about Shy is that she makes friends quickly, wherever we go. We weren't at the Forever Families Weekend for an hour before she had a new best friend. I have to blog about that weekend, but it will be a fairly long entry, and I just haven't had the time to get it done. It was fun though, and I will mention this one instance here while I think about it:
She found a little girl her age. She went up to her and said
"hello"
and the other girl said
"hello."
Shy then said:
"I'm adopted" (she knows that makes her special)
The other little girl said "Oh"
She then said: "Are you adopted?"
The little girl said "no"
Then, in her own special way, Shy said "Then what are you doing here?"
It was really quite humerous. As it turns out, the parents and grandparents of the little girl were some of the people who were facilitating at the weekend, but it was great for Shy. She met a friend, and they, along with another girl and a couple of boys spent a lot of time together. Anyway, it makes me smile to think about it, and what I need now is something to smile about.
I am going to miss this house, this place, already miss the old job, but more about that later.
Have a good night, and I will try to have a safe trip to the Cape tomorrow.
*
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Ask Your Mother
*
is sometimes an appropriate answer.......in my opinion....
We have been so busy getting things packed up and ready to go. So much work to do, but I had a chance to take a break to go to the lawyer's office today. I took Shy with me as she had asked, and she loves going places, it doesn't matter where. I may not be able to be here for the passing of papers on the house, so I had to go there to sign a limited power of attorney so DW could be the one to sign all the papers next month.
While we were on the way home my lovely little girl said to me:
"Daddy, I want a baby sister"
"Really" I said.
"Yes, and a baby brother too"
Well, I gave it a lot of thought, as I didn't quite know how to respond. For those of you who aren't familiar with our story, we have three biological children aged 33, 29, and 28. We adopted Shy from foster care and she is now age 5. With biological considerations take into account, it will be impossible for us to have any more biological children......
I gave the only answer I could think of, and one that I have used many times over the years....
"Ask you mother"
I did give DW a heads up, but by the time we got home, after a short stop at the market, apparently the urge for a baby brother or sister had gone, and she hasn't asked DW........ yet.
*
is sometimes an appropriate answer.......in my opinion....
We have been so busy getting things packed up and ready to go. So much work to do, but I had a chance to take a break to go to the lawyer's office today. I took Shy with me as she had asked, and she loves going places, it doesn't matter where. I may not be able to be here for the passing of papers on the house, so I had to go there to sign a limited power of attorney so DW could be the one to sign all the papers next month.
While we were on the way home my lovely little girl said to me:
"Daddy, I want a baby sister"
"Really" I said.
"Yes, and a baby brother too"
Well, I gave it a lot of thought, as I didn't quite know how to respond. For those of you who aren't familiar with our story, we have three biological children aged 33, 29, and 28. We adopted Shy from foster care and she is now age 5. With biological considerations take into account, it will be impossible for us to have any more biological children......
I gave the only answer I could think of, and one that I have used many times over the years....
"Ask you mother"
I did give DW a heads up, but by the time we got home, after a short stop at the market, apparently the urge for a baby brother or sister had gone, and she hasn't asked DW........ yet.
*
Monday, June 20, 2011
Moving
*
I have taken a new job in Massachusetts. 4 years ago if you asked me, I would have said I would be retiring by now, but things have changed. Shyanne is the biggest reason for those changes. Obviously with a 5 year old, I am not the least bit interested in retiring at an early age. More importantly, I want to make sure I have enough funds to support her in the regal style she is becoming accustomed to now during her teenage years.
There is one other issue I have had. Now, first, I have to tell you that DW does not agree with me on this one, but I still feel this way.
I worry about Shyanne's biological father. I think he is a dangerous man and given the chance and getting in the wrong frame of mind, I believe he would come after her. They know who we are, and I am sure they know where we live. Like I said, DW doesn't think he will try anything as he was more interested in the two older boys, but I still think he would try something, and that scares me.
Thus another reason to seek out a new job. So once the adoption was complete, I started looking. It didn't take long to find something I was interested in, and sure enough I got selected. So I found out last month I was selected and they wanted me to start June 20th (yes today). I talked them into the 27th, so I have one more week.
Two weeks ago we put our house on the market. In this day and age, it could take ages to sell a home....no, not for us. We have a signed purchase and sales agreement already, the buyer has had the home inspected already and they want to close the sale on July 15th. OMG!!! We will be homeless in 3 1/2 weeks.
Needless to say, we have been scrambling to get things packed up, try ot find a place to live, and work out getting a new mortgage for a place to live. and I have to be at my new job on Monday. I know it wouldn't have happened this way if it wasn't meant to be this way, but this is way too stressful for me.
I am committed to keeping up on the blog as well. I am hopeful I can find the time to tell you all about our vacation over the last week and a half as well as Shyanne's reactions to all that is going on. More importantly for purposes of this blog, we went to the Forever Families weekend at Camp Nah Jee Wah in Milford, Pennsylvania and that was wonderful. We learned a lot I want to pass along to you all....but right now I have to get to bed. more packing to do tomorrow.
*
I have taken a new job in Massachusetts. 4 years ago if you asked me, I would have said I would be retiring by now, but things have changed. Shyanne is the biggest reason for those changes. Obviously with a 5 year old, I am not the least bit interested in retiring at an early age. More importantly, I want to make sure I have enough funds to support her in the regal style she is becoming accustomed to now during her teenage years.
There is one other issue I have had. Now, first, I have to tell you that DW does not agree with me on this one, but I still feel this way.
I worry about Shyanne's biological father. I think he is a dangerous man and given the chance and getting in the wrong frame of mind, I believe he would come after her. They know who we are, and I am sure they know where we live. Like I said, DW doesn't think he will try anything as he was more interested in the two older boys, but I still think he would try something, and that scares me.
Thus another reason to seek out a new job. So once the adoption was complete, I started looking. It didn't take long to find something I was interested in, and sure enough I got selected. So I found out last month I was selected and they wanted me to start June 20th (yes today). I talked them into the 27th, so I have one more week.
Two weeks ago we put our house on the market. In this day and age, it could take ages to sell a home....no, not for us. We have a signed purchase and sales agreement already, the buyer has had the home inspected already and they want to close the sale on July 15th. OMG!!! We will be homeless in 3 1/2 weeks.
Needless to say, we have been scrambling to get things packed up, try ot find a place to live, and work out getting a new mortgage for a place to live. and I have to be at my new job on Monday. I know it wouldn't have happened this way if it wasn't meant to be this way, but this is way too stressful for me.
I am committed to keeping up on the blog as well. I am hopeful I can find the time to tell you all about our vacation over the last week and a half as well as Shyanne's reactions to all that is going on. More importantly for purposes of this blog, we went to the Forever Families weekend at Camp Nah Jee Wah in Milford, Pennsylvania and that was wonderful. We learned a lot I want to pass along to you all....but right now I have to get to bed. more packing to do tomorrow.
*
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day
*
To rephrase a line from a writer who is far superior to me....
It is the happeist of times, it is the saddest of times...............
This is the first Father's Day since we adopted Shyanne...................I love you so much Shyanne!
This is the first Father's Day since my father passed away.......................I miss you so much Dad!
What more can I say.
*
To rephrase a line from a writer who is far superior to me....
It is the happeist of times, it is the saddest of times...............
This is the first Father's Day since we adopted Shyanne...................I love you so much Shyanne!
This is the first Father's Day since my father passed away.......................I miss you so much Dad!
What more can I say.
*
So Much to Write
So it has been a while and so much has been happening in our lifes.
My father passed in February. I have a new job I start next Monday. We have a contract to sell our house on July 15th, but no place to live in Massachusetts where I will be working. House hunting starts today.
We attended Forever Families weekend run by Debra Schwartz from Jewish Family Services of Greenwich, CT. and I have a lot to say about that wonderful experience, and thanks to pass along to Melissa at Full Circle who was able to connect me to that through her webcast "Adoption Angles"
But I will get to all of that in coming days and weeks. For right now, I have a simple Father's Day post I want to make.
My father passed in February. I have a new job I start next Monday. We have a contract to sell our house on July 15th, but no place to live in Massachusetts where I will be working. House hunting starts today.
We attended Forever Families weekend run by Debra Schwartz from Jewish Family Services of Greenwich, CT. and I have a lot to say about that wonderful experience, and thanks to pass along to Melissa at Full Circle who was able to connect me to that through her webcast "Adoption Angles"
But I will get to all of that in coming days and weeks. For right now, I have a simple Father's Day post I want to make.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Out of the Mouths of Babes
*
Since my dad passed away there has been a lot of talk about God from Shyanne. We read her some books about death and she was very good at the funeral. She is really very good all the time, but especially at the funeral. When the time came to throw some dirt on the grave of my father she wanted to help as well, and also threw some dirt on the grave with the shovel.
That was pretty amazing, and she knew how sad I was and was very comforting for me as well before, during, and after the services. She asked a lot of questions that one would expect a five year old to ask, and since we have been back, the questions and comments had slowed down.
At least until today...
Today we took Shyanne to see her therapist. She went into the room and I was sitting in the waiting room while DW was downstairs in the parking lot awaiting the arrival of (K) who was meeting us to pick up (L), our grandson.
Two minutes after leaving Shyanne in the room the therapist came right out and asked me to bring Shyanne downstairs to DW as she had something she had to tell me. I immediately broughy her down to DW and headed back upstairs. The therapist met me before I got all the way back and told me that Shyanne had said the following to her:
"My old parents were bad and they won't go to heaven. They are going to stay in the ground, because bad people stay in the ground and don't get to go to be with God."
This was said without provocation. There had been nothing said about my father or the funeral, or anything else. It was just the first thing that Shy blurted out when the door was closed. It is amazing. She also told her that my father was a good person and he had gone to be with God.
Out of the mouths of babes!
*
Since my dad passed away there has been a lot of talk about God from Shyanne. We read her some books about death and she was very good at the funeral. She is really very good all the time, but especially at the funeral. When the time came to throw some dirt on the grave of my father she wanted to help as well, and also threw some dirt on the grave with the shovel.
That was pretty amazing, and she knew how sad I was and was very comforting for me as well before, during, and after the services. She asked a lot of questions that one would expect a five year old to ask, and since we have been back, the questions and comments had slowed down.
At least until today...
Today we took Shyanne to see her therapist. She went into the room and I was sitting in the waiting room while DW was downstairs in the parking lot awaiting the arrival of (K) who was meeting us to pick up (L), our grandson.
Two minutes after leaving Shyanne in the room the therapist came right out and asked me to bring Shyanne downstairs to DW as she had something she had to tell me. I immediately broughy her down to DW and headed back upstairs. The therapist met me before I got all the way back and told me that Shyanne had said the following to her:
"My old parents were bad and they won't go to heaven. They are going to stay in the ground, because bad people stay in the ground and don't get to go to be with God."
This was said without provocation. There had been nothing said about my father or the funeral, or anything else. It was just the first thing that Shy blurted out when the door was closed. It is amazing. She also told her that my father was a good person and he had gone to be with God.
Out of the mouths of babes!
*
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
It's Been A While Again
*
Only this time has been different. As some readers know, I had to make a trip to Florida in January as we were told that my father had had some kind of an event and was very close to death. As it turned out, he was able to pull through and after spending about a week there with my family, my father was back in a rehab and appeared to be progressing along to recovery and hopefully a return home.
Unfortunately, that was not in the cards. They had to bring him back to the hospital on February 17th. I got a call on February 2oth that they were putting him into a hospice at the hospital as there wasn't much more they could do, and he didn't have much time left.
My sister and I both flew to Florida and we were able to spend a couple of days with my dad while he was in hospice and was able to respond and communicate with us. Unfortunately, that was all the time we had, but I do feel as though we made the most of it.
Thursday February 24th, my dad was totally unresponsive, although they told us that he could probably here us. His eye (one was paralyzed shut) remained open the whole day. I don't remember the exact time, but I think my sister and I left there about 10:00pm. A few hours later, while at my mother's house, we got the phone call that my father had passed at 12:45am on Friday February 25th.
I have a number of stories to tell about that week and the time that has passed since then. It has certainly had an affect on Shyanne, but I have to tell you she was a very good girl at the funeral service and at the cemetary.
It was definitely a time to be proud. I was proud of my father's courage. I was proud of Shyanne and the way she acted and responded to the death of her papa. I was proud of my three older children as well. My son even said a few words at the funeral for his papa and he did a great job. More will follow on that with my next post, but in the meantime, I am just going to relax and think about my dad for a few days, and just in case he is following this blog......
I love you dad, and already miss you more than you can ever imagine.
*
Only this time has been different. As some readers know, I had to make a trip to Florida in January as we were told that my father had had some kind of an event and was very close to death. As it turned out, he was able to pull through and after spending about a week there with my family, my father was back in a rehab and appeared to be progressing along to recovery and hopefully a return home.
Unfortunately, that was not in the cards. They had to bring him back to the hospital on February 17th. I got a call on February 2oth that they were putting him into a hospice at the hospital as there wasn't much more they could do, and he didn't have much time left.
My sister and I both flew to Florida and we were able to spend a couple of days with my dad while he was in hospice and was able to respond and communicate with us. Unfortunately, that was all the time we had, but I do feel as though we made the most of it.
Thursday February 24th, my dad was totally unresponsive, although they told us that he could probably here us. His eye (one was paralyzed shut) remained open the whole day. I don't remember the exact time, but I think my sister and I left there about 10:00pm. A few hours later, while at my mother's house, we got the phone call that my father had passed at 12:45am on Friday February 25th.
I have a number of stories to tell about that week and the time that has passed since then. It has certainly had an affect on Shyanne, but I have to tell you she was a very good girl at the funeral service and at the cemetary.
It was definitely a time to be proud. I was proud of my father's courage. I was proud of Shyanne and the way she acted and responded to the death of her papa. I was proud of my three older children as well. My son even said a few words at the funeral for his papa and he did a great job. More will follow on that with my next post, but in the meantime, I am just going to relax and think about my dad for a few days, and just in case he is following this blog......
I love you dad, and already miss you more than you can ever imagine.
*
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