Tuesday, April 17, 2012

When Does Special Become "Different"

Let me start by saying that shyanne is doing very well. She loves school and is excelling there. She loves all of her activities, including swimming, dance, basketball, soccer, T-ball and Sunday School. I could go on and on, but I have to say a few things about her and other children in general.

Whenever a child is "different" than her friends, we always want to say "that is what makes you special"

We have told Shyanne that because she is adopted, she is special.
We have told shyanne that because she has biological siblings as well as adopted siblings, she is special.
We have told Shyanne that because she celebrates different holidays, being Jewish, she is special.
We have told Shyanne that because she is the only one in her class with red hair, she is special.

At what point does "special" no longer work for her? At what point do we stop using "special" as a reason for all the things that make her different?

At what point do we stop making all her friends seem less special than her because we tell her she is special?

Now, I have to tell you that Shaynne is certainly special to us, but then aren't all children (biological or adopted) special to their parents. Maybe that is the answer. Maybe she should just be told that she is special to us. I don't want her to think she is "better" than her friends" when I am really just trying to make her feel good about herself.

It is just so difficult in this day and age to make a child feel special when they aren't feeling that way themselves. Again, Shyanne I know feels special now, but I don't want to turn that into a bad thing as time goes on.

Anyway, just something I was thinking about today. What are your thoughts?


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