Sunday, November 28, 2010

What Happens Next?

We are done with the State as far as Shyanne is concerned. Her parents are not. They will receive a notification sometime in the next week or so advising them that "permanency has been achieved" for their daughter Shyanne.

These are not real intelligient people, but it would seem to me they are intelligent enough to know that since it has happened with Shyanne rather quickly that she is probably with us. We are the only family she has been with, and they met us many times through the failed reunification process. They even had our phone number so they could call and talk to Shyanne on the phone. (although she would never talk to them....or anyone else on the phone for that matter) My concern is that the bio-father will be unable to control himself when they recieve this news and will become violent.

That is the way he has been in the past. That is what got the family into the situation they are in. I have no reason to believe that he has changed his ways. While he is not a particularly well, or strong man, I am no spring chicken myself. My number one job right now is to protect Shyanne. The problem is I am not sure how to go about doing that.

We went shopping yesterday for the holidays to Target, Sams Club, the mall etc and I find myself spending more time looking at people then at merchandise. I keep scanning the corriders and aisles before we go up them. the last thing I want is for Shyanne to see her bio-parents, or for them to see her. It would not be good for her at this point.

I think I need to work a little more dilligiently about getting a job somewhere else. I am sure there are some available and if I leave the state, it will certainly make things a little easier, and I won't be quite so paranoid....?

Anyone have any ideas?


  1. I too have these concerns for my children. My hubby ran into the bio father and the bio mother's twin sister at the gas station the day after our finalization. Thankfully he was alone and the children didn't see them but they were waiting outside the gas station when he came out and motioned for him to come over to their car. He did not go over to their car but it made him feel very uneasy. For so many reasons I would like to move but it is not possible. I am hoping the bio family will move away from here.

  2. Hey there-
    I can relate as I went through a similar thing a few years ago with a sibling group. One of them was old enough to be able to recognize the bio dad and I knew would tell me if he saw him. Moving seems like a lot of uprooting for what is likely to be a fairly short term period of uncertainty. Without knowing where you live, it might be possible to do major outings a bit farther afield for a few weeks. But if you stay close to Shyanne when you are out and are ready to leave whatever is in your shopping basket to leave quickly if needed you are probably ok when out. My best advice is to keep a copy of your custody papers with you at all times so that if you do see him and he tries to claim parenthood rights, you can settle it with any authorities that are called.
    If you are really concerned about violence, talk to your local police dept and let them know what is going on. If you need to call them to your house it will save a lot of time, not to mention get them there faster.
    Hang in there.... I'll be thinking of your family.
    Gail Underwood Parker

  3. We live in a city of 100k and have never run into birth family.

    The birth family wasn't willing to do what it took to get Shyanne back so I don't believe they would do anything if they did see you.

  4. I totally agree about keeping copies of your finalization paperwork on you and DW at all times. It's a small world.. As far as moving goes.. I think you are awesome to consider that but (if you can but enough security measures in place) maybe you won't have to.

    Hopefully someday you will be able to let your guard down.. in the meantime, just keep a good lookout. :)