Since the wedding, things have begun to quiet down a little bit. The last person to leave was my son who I took to the airport on Tuesday so he could go back to Alabama. we had our monthly visit from the caseworker on Friday and then today we got (S) together with all of her bio brothers at another foster parents house. (S) is always happy to see her brothers. She considers them her "friends".
The next youngest child up from (S) does not have any permanency arrangement. His current foster parents will not be adopting him. the next one up has a foster parent who will adopt and the two oldest have foster parents that will become legal guardians. So that leaves the caseworker knowing she needs to find one home anyway and still hoping not to have to find one for (S).
When she visited on Friday, she advised that she had some peronal things going on and asked us not to burst her bubble today and let her continue to believe we are going to asopt (S). The thing is........there is still no decision from the court. Now anyone who was in court can't possibly believe that the preants will retain rights, but I am the type of person that wants to see things in writing.
So the whole family was here for the wedding and while most of them remained silent as far as offering any advice as to what we should do, the newest member of our family before my daughters wedding last week had some interesting words. She said:
" I dont' know why y'all (she is from Georgia) dont' know what you are going to do. Everyone else does."
Apparently the smart money is on us adopting (S). The way we feel this week, that is probably right. the problem is we know that next week we might not feel that way. I think if we don't change our feelings again than that will be the answer.
In searching for an answer I thought about the wedding. While there were many pictures taken of all of the family and we had (S) in most of them, there were some "family" pictures that we didn't have (S) in. I felt really bad about that. We are hoping the photographer will be able to photo-shop her into a few of those pictures. So we do consider her part of the family and we wouldn't have any of the other members leave the family, so it is looking like this one won't leave either.
We are still not sure though. We will continue to seek advice and counsel, and in the meantime, we are going to take (S) to York Beach the week after next for a few days of vacation. She loved it there last year and I love it there every year. I have been going there since before I can remember and it is a good place to do some thinking. There are some rocks on the ocean I will be sitting on and doing some deep thinking. I hope the rocks have some answers for me. If there are any rocks that can talk to me, these can.