Monday, July 12, 2010

Are You Still My Daddy?


(S) is really becoming more and more aware of, and questioning her past and her bio-parents. We still have not had the chnace to have the real conversation we need to have when we are with her therapist but I am hopeful that will come at our next appointment,

She is 4 1/2 years old and we are told this is to be expected at this age. I guess there are a couple of other ages at which these same types of things will come up again but for right now we are dealing with the knowledge that she once lived with another family and that there were times when her bio father got mad and he would fight with her bio-mom and now she doesnt live with them any more. As a result, when I tell her she has done something wrong, she has started with a new response.....

Are you still my daddy? She just doesn't understand that I am here and not like her bio-daddy, but I don't want to talk poorly about her bio-dad. That is not good either.

It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that I will be her daddy no matter what happens, the question keeps coming up. I get the impression she does things she knows she shouldn't do just so I will tell her not to do that and then she can ask if I will still be her daddy. I think she needs this reassurance from me. Unfortunately, she needs it pretty regularly...

I am hopeful she will no longer feel uneasy about the situation when we finally get things worked out and finalized and can go to court and have a party and officially tell her this special ceremony and party is to celebrate that we are with her forever.

She knows her bio mom and dad used to fight a lot and she says they were broken and had to go to the hospital. She says they broke into a mikllion pieces. I don't know why that is the story she tells, but I am sure it is what helps her get by.

I think she is definitely trying to cope with the idea that parents are not forever. Why should she think otherwise? She had parents once and they are no longer her parents. Of course she thinks that we can no longer be her parents at some point.

We need to address this as quickly as possible. I hope we will be able to set up another appointment quickly. the one we had for today was postponed and we don't have a date for another yet.

(S) really needs to be comfortable that we are here for her forever. Of course the courts would help me feel better about this being forever, but as we know, they don't move at anyone's pace but their own. 'nuff said about that...


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