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Yesterday I celebrated Mother's Day in Maine with DW, (S), (K), (A), and her fiance. Then I traveled to New Hampshire and went to sleep. This morning at 3:00am I woke up and drove to Boston, MA. I then boarded an airplane and now find myself in Phoenix, AZ. I can't believe how much travelling I have been doing. I have not spent more than 4 days in a row in the same bed and have been essentially to 3 corners of the country. (Arizona, Maine, and Florida) in the last month. I just have to thank someone that I am not going to Washington State or Oregon any time soon.
I was told that (S) cried yesterday when I left. She has been crying a lot when I leave these days. I know it is hard on her. It is hard on all of us. I just hope in the long run, it turns out to be worth it as we had hoped. Only time will tell on that. Speaking of time.........
I wish the court would do something. I am sure you are just as tired hearing about it as I am talking about it, but this is ridiculous. These kids have been in the custody of the state for over 2 1/2 years and haven't seen their biological parents in ages (they didn't even show up in court for the TPR hearing). They all also have families willing to be their forever families.
There have been many times in the past I have been critical of the DHHS. There are times they certainly don't know what they are doing. There are times they do things that really make you wonder if they have any common sense. In reality though, while they may not use common sense all the time, I believe they always try to do things that are in the best interest of the children.
It doesn't appear as if the court works the same way. They have had this case long enough and it is time they render a decision and let these kids (and foster parents) get on with the business of being families!
Nuff said...
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Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Monday, May 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Missing my Girls
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I miss DW and (S). They came down last Thursday and stayed until Monday and will be back again on Friday until Tuesday, but I still miss them. Last weekend they were each sick a day so we didn't exactly have a great time other than the horses and Chuck E's.
This weekend we are planning a trip to Glow Bowling, and of course I will be taking my two girls out for dinner on Sunday for Valentine's Day. Mostly, I just enjoy spending time with them. It really doesn't matter what we do.
While some people have recommended that we delay the Disney trip another year, we have decided a different course of action. We are going to do our best to prepare (S) for the trip. Tell her everything we can. Show her pictures from a past trip there and try our best to assure her that this is fun and nothing to be afraid of.
So I plan on talking about and doing more planning for our trip. Exactly when, where and how. We are also going to visit Nanny, Papa, and Grandpa who all live in Florida. We don't get to see them much, so any opportunity is a good one. We also have another trip to talk about, but I haven't said anything to DW yet. This blog entry will kind of be a test to see how often she checks the blog and calls to find out about this other trip. I am not sure we can do it, but I am not even going to try if she isn't interested.
Of course, I am still planning our regular February trip that we have missed the last two years for February 2011. That will be a trip that we certainly hope will be with (S) as our adopted daughter, not our foster daughter. A trip we won't need to get approval for from anyone else.
Anyway, it will be nice to see them both this weekend. We will have lots of fun together, and I hope no one gets sick. Can't wait to see you both sweetie!
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I miss DW and (S). They came down last Thursday and stayed until Monday and will be back again on Friday until Tuesday, but I still miss them. Last weekend they were each sick a day so we didn't exactly have a great time other than the horses and Chuck E's.
This weekend we are planning a trip to Glow Bowling, and of course I will be taking my two girls out for dinner on Sunday for Valentine's Day. Mostly, I just enjoy spending time with them. It really doesn't matter what we do.
While some people have recommended that we delay the Disney trip another year, we have decided a different course of action. We are going to do our best to prepare (S) for the trip. Tell her everything we can. Show her pictures from a past trip there and try our best to assure her that this is fun and nothing to be afraid of.
So I plan on talking about and doing more planning for our trip. Exactly when, where and how. We are also going to visit Nanny, Papa, and Grandpa who all live in Florida. We don't get to see them much, so any opportunity is a good one. We also have another trip to talk about, but I haven't said anything to DW yet. This blog entry will kind of be a test to see how often she checks the blog and calls to find out about this other trip. I am not sure we can do it, but I am not even going to try if she isn't interested.
Of course, I am still planning our regular February trip that we have missed the last two years for February 2011. That will be a trip that we certainly hope will be with (S) as our adopted daughter, not our foster daughter. A trip we won't need to get approval for from anyone else.
Anyway, it will be nice to see them both this weekend. We will have lots of fun together, and I hope no one gets sick. Can't wait to see you both sweetie!
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Sunday, March 1, 2009
Four More Days
(S) is getting real excited. DW and I are getting excited as well. In four days we leave for our road trip. Thursday is the day we start. We will leave right after lunch and have dinner in Vernon, CT at a deli called Reins. We stop there any time we drive by. We really like it and would recommend it if you are in the area. We will finish the day in Waterbury where we will spend the night.
Friday am we leave for Hershey and will visit Chocolatetown. (S) can't wait to learn about how chocolate is made. As I have mentioned before, when she first came to us and we asked her brother what she liked to eat the answer was "pizza and chocolate". This will be a big event. We will spend the night in Harrisburg.
Saturday morning we leave for Cleveland, OH and will visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That is for DW and me. I don't know if there is anything for (S) there, but she does like music and singing so she may get something out of it. We will spend the night in Cleveland.
Sunday morning we head out for Indianapolis. We are going to a Holiday Inn there that has an indoor water park. (S) is going to LOVE that. We will spend the day there and stay the night as well.
Monday am we will leave for Nashville. DW and I have never been there and are looking forward to it. We are not big country music fans, but it really doesn't matter. We are going to spend the night there and also do the tourist thing on Tuesday am. After lunch we will head to Birmingham, AL.
Our son (B) lives in Birmingham and we are going to stay there and visit with him until Saturday morning. Then we will leave for Little Rock. We are going to stop in Memphis along the way and see Graceland. Then Sunday we plan on arriving in OKC where we will spend the next 10 days. (Actually during the weekend we are there we are going to go to Dallas and meet my sister. She lives in Houston so this is a good opportunity to see her and my brother in law.)
It is going to be a wonderful trip and you can look forward to this blog turning into somewhat of a travel log. Of course we will have plenty to speak about regarding (S) as well. The SW is hoping this trip will help us make a determination to adopt (S). I am hoping it doesn't. We absolutely adore her and quite frankly can't remember what life was like before her, nor can I imagine what life will be like without her, but adoption is a big step neither DW nor I are willing to take at this point.
Friday am we leave for Hershey and will visit Chocolatetown. (S) can't wait to learn about how chocolate is made. As I have mentioned before, when she first came to us and we asked her brother what she liked to eat the answer was "pizza and chocolate". This will be a big event. We will spend the night in Harrisburg.
Saturday morning we leave for Cleveland, OH and will visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That is for DW and me. I don't know if there is anything for (S) there, but she does like music and singing so she may get something out of it. We will spend the night in Cleveland.
Sunday morning we head out for Indianapolis. We are going to a Holiday Inn there that has an indoor water park. (S) is going to LOVE that. We will spend the day there and stay the night as well.
Monday am we will leave for Nashville. DW and I have never been there and are looking forward to it. We are not big country music fans, but it really doesn't matter. We are going to spend the night there and also do the tourist thing on Tuesday am. After lunch we will head to Birmingham, AL.
Our son (B) lives in Birmingham and we are going to stay there and visit with him until Saturday morning. Then we will leave for Little Rock. We are going to stop in Memphis along the way and see Graceland. Then Sunday we plan on arriving in OKC where we will spend the next 10 days. (Actually during the weekend we are there we are going to go to Dallas and meet my sister. She lives in Houston so this is a good opportunity to see her and my brother in law.)
It is going to be a wonderful trip and you can look forward to this blog turning into somewhat of a travel log. Of course we will have plenty to speak about regarding (S) as well. The SW is hoping this trip will help us make a determination to adopt (S). I am hoping it doesn't. We absolutely adore her and quite frankly can't remember what life was like before her, nor can I imagine what life will be like without her, but adoption is a big step neither DW nor I are willing to take at this point.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Case Worker Visit
Today was the monthly visit from the CW. We were amazed to hear that she hasn't heard a word from Bio mom and dad since the last court date. Bio-dad does have a new lawyer so everything should be all set for the TPR hearing tot ake place the week of April 6th. We will have to be in court for that. They expect the hearing to last 3-4 days so that week will probably be shot and emotional for all involved. The CW anticipates that there will be a decision to terminate about 3 weeks after that.
She does expect an appeal, but at that point she will begin getting to work on having some sort of permanency. In other words, time to make a decision. It was interesting though (K) was here during the visit and she said she would adopt (S) if we didn't. Now as you know, she is getting married in June so I am not sure it would be the right thing to get involved in, but I am not going to tell them what to do. I simply told her that if she wanted to, her and her fiance needed to get started taking the classes and getting the paperwork done.
The CW said our trip would be a good opportunity for us to really see whether or not we wanted to adopt. We really have no intention of doing that at this point, so I don't think that will happen, but I guess you never know. She says she has had lots of people our age adopt foster children. I think we probably would have no problem if (S) was about 10 years older and everything else remained the same, but at age 3, it would mean a commitment to an age well above the normal.
I'm surprised I said that. If anyone knows what normal is, please let me know. I have never figured that one out. Just as soon as I think someone is normal, they do something I can't believe, I even dare to think I am normal on occasion, but then DW sets me straight.
The visit ended and the CW will be back in just 2 weeks so she can get in her March visit before we go away. We are so looking forward to this trip. It should make for some good posts here as we proceed by car through 15 different states. The details are just about worked out and the reservations are made. I can't wait!
She does expect an appeal, but at that point she will begin getting to work on having some sort of permanency. In other words, time to make a decision. It was interesting though (K) was here during the visit and she said she would adopt (S) if we didn't. Now as you know, she is getting married in June so I am not sure it would be the right thing to get involved in, but I am not going to tell them what to do. I simply told her that if she wanted to, her and her fiance needed to get started taking the classes and getting the paperwork done.
The CW said our trip would be a good opportunity for us to really see whether or not we wanted to adopt. We really have no intention of doing that at this point, so I don't think that will happen, but I guess you never know. She says she has had lots of people our age adopt foster children. I think we probably would have no problem if (S) was about 10 years older and everything else remained the same, but at age 3, it would mean a commitment to an age well above the normal.
I'm surprised I said that. If anyone knows what normal is, please let me know. I have never figured that one out. Just as soon as I think someone is normal, they do something I can't believe, I even dare to think I am normal on occasion, but then DW sets me straight.
The visit ended and the CW will be back in just 2 weeks so she can get in her March visit before we go away. We are so looking forward to this trip. It should make for some good posts here as we proceed by car through 15 different states. The details are just about worked out and the reservations are made. I can't wait!
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Trip is On....No parental Visits for at Least 3 Months.
The trip is on......we are really excited and so is (S). Don't ask me why but she really wants to go to the "cowboyzeum" (Cowboy Hall of Fame and Museum). She is also excited about the water park and going to Alabama to see (B). We are also going to spend a weekend in Dallas visiting my sister. She has not yet met (S) and is looking forward to it.
So....... I get to court and there are a lot of people there. There are also a lot of Sheriffs there. Dad was sitting in the parking lot in an Escalade. (I think it belonged to his church President) When he finally came into the courthouse it looked like he bought a new pair of jeans for the occasion. Mom was not with dad and she looked really depressed and alone. I spoke to her briefly. She said that dad is not living with her and the house is very quiet. She is not a well woman and she doesn't work, so I can't imagine what this is like for her. I know she misses (S) tremendously. She asked how (S) was doing and I wasn't sure what to say....so I just reverted to the most sensible thing...I told her the truth........that (S) was fine.
Dad's lawyer asked to be removed from the case. Dad apparently had filed a complaint about him with the bar association. When the judge asked if it was ok if that lawyer was removed from the case dad didn't want him removed. That's right. He filed a complaint, but still wanted him on the case. The judge let the lawyer go and now a new one has to be named. The TPR trial is now set for April 6th, but it won't actually start that day. They will just decide if they are ready. They are estimating 3 days for this trial. There are no visits until at least after that. After that there is the potential that there could be just one visit to say goodbye. I can't imagine what that would be like. It saddens me just to say that.
Now we have been asked about adoption. We are very mixed on this one. On the one hand, we didn't get into this for that purpose, but if we are not going to adopt then it would make sense that they find a foster to adopt family to put (S) with until everything is decided. That means that (S) would be leaving sooner rather than later. We were all ready for her to go home to her parents when they were so close to reunification, but we really aren't ready for her to go with some strangers. I never thought we would be in this position, but we think we are probably too old to adopt a three year old girl. We would be close to 70 by the time she graduated High school.
Enough for today. My mind is turning to mush. Tomorrow I will tell you all the preliminary plans for our trip so you can all offer any suggestions about something we should do.
So....... I get to court and there are a lot of people there. There are also a lot of Sheriffs there. Dad was sitting in the parking lot in an Escalade. (I think it belonged to his church President) When he finally came into the courthouse it looked like he bought a new pair of jeans for the occasion. Mom was not with dad and she looked really depressed and alone. I spoke to her briefly. She said that dad is not living with her and the house is very quiet. She is not a well woman and she doesn't work, so I can't imagine what this is like for her. I know she misses (S) tremendously. She asked how (S) was doing and I wasn't sure what to say....so I just reverted to the most sensible thing...I told her the truth........that (S) was fine.
Dad's lawyer asked to be removed from the case. Dad apparently had filed a complaint about him with the bar association. When the judge asked if it was ok if that lawyer was removed from the case dad didn't want him removed. That's right. He filed a complaint, but still wanted him on the case. The judge let the lawyer go and now a new one has to be named. The TPR trial is now set for April 6th, but it won't actually start that day. They will just decide if they are ready. They are estimating 3 days for this trial. There are no visits until at least after that. After that there is the potential that there could be just one visit to say goodbye. I can't imagine what that would be like. It saddens me just to say that.
Now we have been asked about adoption. We are very mixed on this one. On the one hand, we didn't get into this for that purpose, but if we are not going to adopt then it would make sense that they find a foster to adopt family to put (S) with until everything is decided. That means that (S) would be leaving sooner rather than later. We were all ready for her to go home to her parents when they were so close to reunification, but we really aren't ready for her to go with some strangers. I never thought we would be in this position, but we think we are probably too old to adopt a three year old girl. We would be close to 70 by the time she graduated High school.
Enough for today. My mind is turning to mush. Tomorrow I will tell you all the preliminary plans for our trip so you can all offer any suggestions about something we should do.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Trip Plans
We were planning our trip figuring that (S) would be back home with Bio-Mom. Now we are planning our trip with (S) and just hoping that her case worker will allow us to take her all over the place for 3 weeks.
I have to go to Oklahoma for 10 days. We figured to drive and make a road trip out of it. Thought that would be fun. First thing we will have to do is get a Portable DVD player for (S) and maybe a GPS for us.
Our plan is to try and visit places either on the way there or the way back. They are all cities that we have never been to together and that is how we picked them out. It will certainly make the trip a little longer but that is the fun of a road trip. Here they are:
Buffalo, Syracuse, Erie, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Louisville, Nashville, Birmingham, Memphis, Little Rock, St. Louis, Kansas City, and maybe Chicago although that seems out of the way no matter what we do.
We have taken (S) out of state before with permission, but this is a long trip and we are going a lot further. The case worker was not sure since the case is in the middle of beginning the TPR. She was going to ask her supervisor. We would really like to take this trip and we think (S) would have a ball!!
If anyone has any ideas about particular sites to see or things to do in any of those cities that would be good for a 3 1/2 year old we would appreciate it. In the meantime, we will be keeping our fingers crossed and hoping that the case worker allows the trip.
I have to go to Oklahoma for 10 days. We figured to drive and make a road trip out of it. Thought that would be fun. First thing we will have to do is get a Portable DVD player for (S) and maybe a GPS for us.
Our plan is to try and visit places either on the way there or the way back. They are all cities that we have never been to together and that is how we picked them out. It will certainly make the trip a little longer but that is the fun of a road trip. Here they are:
Buffalo, Syracuse, Erie, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Louisville, Nashville, Birmingham, Memphis, Little Rock, St. Louis, Kansas City, and maybe Chicago although that seems out of the way no matter what we do.
We have taken (S) out of state before with permission, but this is a long trip and we are going a lot further. The case worker was not sure since the case is in the middle of beginning the TPR. She was going to ask her supervisor. We would really like to take this trip and we think (S) would have a ball!!
If anyone has any ideas about particular sites to see or things to do in any of those cities that would be good for a 3 1/2 year old we would appreciate it. In the meantime, we will be keeping our fingers crossed and hoping that the case worker allows the trip.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A Mother's Love
What a weekend this has been. On Friday I spoke with (S) case worker and she said nothing to me about a visitation for (S) with her parents. (S) and I went out and ran some errands and went to "Donalfries" (McDonalds) for lunch. We got home around around 2:30 and there is a message from the caseworker asking if (S) can visit with her family from 1-4. There were also 2 messages from (S) mom wanting to know why she wasn't there.
I called her mom and told her what had happened, and she said that (S) was supposed to be there next week on Monday Wednesday and Friday from 10am to 3pm. Still no word from the caseworker. So Saturday is a normal visitation so we were hopeful that the reunification worker would be there so we could talk with her. Unfortunately she wasn't. My lovely wife called her later in the day to find out what was going on. She confirmed that if it can be worked out that those are correct times for a visit for just (S) with none of her siblings. She is the youngest and probably has no memory of living with mom and dad so they want her to spend a lot of time alone with mom before she goes back to live with them.
My head wants to be as helpful as possible, but I think my heart is saying "if they want something let them take care of it. It is not your responsibility." The bottom line is my heart doesn't want her to leave even though I know it is best for her. I have no doubt that we can provide more materially for (S), but at the end of the day, there is no love like a mother's love and (S) needs to have that if at all possible. I just can't get away from the thought of her not being here. We are trying to plan a long road trip for after she is gone to kind of keep our mind off things, but I don't know if that will work.
Today I took (S) sledding in the front yard. We both had a blast, but we couldn't do it very long because the wind chills were below zero. I have to be in Florida from Monday through Wednesday so I promised her when I got back we would sled some more.
I just can't get my mind off her leaving. What do all of you good people out there recommend for a "tourist" in Ohio, Indianna, Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, New York, Pennsylvania, Missouri, and Illinois. That is where we are planning to go on our "planning" roadtrip. We hope it becomes a reality, and we hope it can be fun and get our minds off (S) but I know it won't work for long periods, but maybe a little at a time. We have to have something to do.
We plan on giving the case worker our cell phone number in case things don't work out and (S) needs to come back. I hate to have those thoughts, but I just can't help it. Like I said before, my head wants this to work for (S) and my heart wants to be selfish and keep her for ourselves.
Well, I am going to go play with (S) before she goes to bed. Everyone have a nice day.
I called her mom and told her what had happened, and she said that (S) was supposed to be there next week on Monday Wednesday and Friday from 10am to 3pm. Still no word from the caseworker. So Saturday is a normal visitation so we were hopeful that the reunification worker would be there so we could talk with her. Unfortunately she wasn't. My lovely wife called her later in the day to find out what was going on. She confirmed that if it can be worked out that those are correct times for a visit for just (S) with none of her siblings. She is the youngest and probably has no memory of living with mom and dad so they want her to spend a lot of time alone with mom before she goes back to live with them.
My head wants to be as helpful as possible, but I think my heart is saying "if they want something let them take care of it. It is not your responsibility." The bottom line is my heart doesn't want her to leave even though I know it is best for her. I have no doubt that we can provide more materially for (S), but at the end of the day, there is no love like a mother's love and (S) needs to have that if at all possible. I just can't get away from the thought of her not being here. We are trying to plan a long road trip for after she is gone to kind of keep our mind off things, but I don't know if that will work.
Today I took (S) sledding in the front yard. We both had a blast, but we couldn't do it very long because the wind chills were below zero. I have to be in Florida from Monday through Wednesday so I promised her when I got back we would sled some more.
I just can't get my mind off her leaving. What do all of you good people out there recommend for a "tourist" in Ohio, Indianna, Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, New York, Pennsylvania, Missouri, and Illinois. That is where we are planning to go on our "planning" roadtrip. We hope it becomes a reality, and we hope it can be fun and get our minds off (S) but I know it won't work for long periods, but maybe a little at a time. We have to have something to do.
We plan on giving the case worker our cell phone number in case things don't work out and (S) needs to come back. I hate to have those thoughts, but I just can't help it. Like I said before, my head wants this to work for (S) and my heart wants to be selfish and keep her for ourselves.
Well, I am going to go play with (S) before she goes to bed. Everyone have a nice day.
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