*
So this past weekend was very busy and Shyanne handled it wonderfully. She is really maturing at a more rapid pace then she had been. I am thinking it is good, but then wondering if her "teen" years will start earlier than we had planned. Actually, the earlier they start, I guess the better.
"Why?" you ask. We will be younger and hopefully better able to deal with it. Here I go again with the age thing. I just can't get it out of my mind. All my thoughts it seems revolve around how old I am and how old Shy is. When she is entering high school, I will be this age. When she is ready to start looking at colleges I will be that age. Who knows when she will get married, or even if she will get married. Will I even be here to walk her down the aisle. If I am not, who will?
What about if/when she starts playing sports in high school? We will be well into our 60's at that point. I am sure everyone will think we are her grandparents, and while I don't care what other people think, how will those bleachers feel on a 60 something year old bottom? Will it matter if I am watching Shyanne have a good time and do well at whatever it is she has chosen to participate in.
Right now I am thinking the theater and dance are a good thing for her. She is already into dancing. She goes every week and takes ballet, jazz, and tap. She seems to really like it. Most importantly, the seats will be much more comfortable on a 60-ish bottom. Won't they?
She still worries about whether or not DW and I are really her "forever" family. She doesn't actually come out and say it, but her actions and testing certainly seem to indicate that is in the back of her mind. I want to make sure I am around to truly be her "forever" father. She deserves that.
I don't know why age is a constant issue with me, but it is. I am frequently thinking about it. It was the final issue we addressed before making the determination to adopt. I want to be there for all the important things in Shy's life. ..............Doesn't every dad?
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Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
How Insightful Can A 6 Year Old Be?
*
Pretty insightful!!
So, what brings this up. Shyanne has been going to "play therapy" for a few years now. Since she was about 3. She started with a wonderful woman in Maine who worked with her, as well as DW and me. Shy enjoyed going there. She got a chance to play with her. She had a lot of dolls and a doll house and some other age appropriate toys that she just loved to play with.
When we moved, one of our first priorities was to find a similar therapist here. We asked around a lot and finally got the name of a woman who had time to see her. She started seeing Shy, as well as DW and me, and we have been happy with her.
Shy has been happy with her too. She is no longer only wanting to play with dolls and doll houses though. She has advanced to some pretty interesting games. Some games of strategy as well that are billed for much older children, but none the less, she plays them. According to her therapist she not only plays them, but understands them, and understands the strategy involved in some pretty advanced games that she has. Usually games that she reserves for much older children.
That is not the insightful part though.
This past Tuesday Shyanne had an epiphany. She now has come to realize that she doesn't go there JUST "to play" as she previous thought. It is no longer a "play date" to her. It is someone she can talk to about all sorts of things. Someone who will understand and help her to understand issues and someone she can talk to.
Now that is pretty insightful for a 6 year old if you ask me!!
Of course I am happy that she is bright and insightful and "gets it" and all of that. It shows she is growing and maturing. All the things we hope for our children. On the other hand, I wish it wouldn't happen quite so fast.
*
Pretty insightful!!
So, what brings this up. Shyanne has been going to "play therapy" for a few years now. Since she was about 3. She started with a wonderful woman in Maine who worked with her, as well as DW and me. Shy enjoyed going there. She got a chance to play with her. She had a lot of dolls and a doll house and some other age appropriate toys that she just loved to play with.
When we moved, one of our first priorities was to find a similar therapist here. We asked around a lot and finally got the name of a woman who had time to see her. She started seeing Shy, as well as DW and me, and we have been happy with her.
Shy has been happy with her too. She is no longer only wanting to play with dolls and doll houses though. She has advanced to some pretty interesting games. Some games of strategy as well that are billed for much older children, but none the less, she plays them. According to her therapist she not only plays them, but understands them, and understands the strategy involved in some pretty advanced games that she has. Usually games that she reserves for much older children.
That is not the insightful part though.
This past Tuesday Shyanne had an epiphany. She now has come to realize that she doesn't go there JUST "to play" as she previous thought. It is no longer a "play date" to her. It is someone she can talk to about all sorts of things. Someone who will understand and help her to understand issues and someone she can talk to.
Now that is pretty insightful for a 6 year old if you ask me!!
Of course I am happy that she is bright and insightful and "gets it" and all of that. It shows she is growing and maturing. All the things we hope for our children. On the other hand, I wish it wouldn't happen quite so fast.
*
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Adoption Day
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By far one of the most exciting days of my life. Yes it was just as exciting as the day my biological children were born and the day I married my wonderful wife.
Today, an individual I have never met in person, but have come to know over the last few years through this blog and hers is having her day.
Congratulations to Melissa, Little Buddy, and SweetPea. Be sure to drop by and pass along your thoughts at:
http://www.ourfullcircle.com/
*
By far one of the most exciting days of my life. Yes it was just as exciting as the day my biological children were born and the day I married my wonderful wife.
Today, an individual I have never met in person, but have come to know over the last few years through this blog and hers is having her day.
Congratulations to Melissa, Little Buddy, and SweetPea. Be sure to drop by and pass along your thoughts at:
http://www.ourfullcircle.com/
*
Monday, April 2, 2012
Scared Stage....It's All Worthwhile
*
So last night I put Shy to bed. It was only about 10 minutes later when she came out to the living room and said she was scared. Of course we asked her what she was afraid of and she responded with "I don't know, I am just scared"
We tried to make her feel better saying that we were here and there was nothing to be scared of. She wasn't buying it. She just kept saying she was scared and didn't want to be alone in her bedroom. No matter what we said, it wasn't helping.
She wanted to be with an "adult" as she put it.
We tried for about 10 minutes to get her to go back to bed, but she kept telling us she was scared and didn't know what she was scared of. When she started to cry and it looked like she was going to get hysterical, we said that she could lie down on the couch next to mommy and fall asleep.
She was good with that, and indeed fell asleep. In only about 10 minutes. It was certainly easier to let her fall asleep there then it was to try to get her back into bed. Whether or not we will pay for that with a future desire to fall asleep with us remains to be seen.
As regular readers know, it has always been an issue with Shy to fall asleep in her own bed. She spent a long time where she would not stay in her room at all and would not fall asleep at all. She would stay awake until DW and I went to bed and then come into our room. She would not stay in her room and fall asleep there no matter what. We finally got through that stage and have been "blessed" with her appearance on a random basis. Sometimes going weeks without seeing her in our room to stretches of three days in a row where we would wake up with her asleep in our bed.
Last night, however was the first time she came out while we were still up and was saying she was scared but didn't know of what. When talking to a fellow worker, she has started with the same issue with her little girl who is about the same age as Shy. Fortunately for them, there is an older sister and that is where the younger girl chooses to go.
I guess it is just a stage that we will have to endure. We shall see how often it comes up that she has to fall asleep in the living room with us. On the other side of the coin, when I carried her into her bedroom, she did wake up when I laid her down. She didn't ask to get up and come back with us, and in fact, didn't' get up the rest of the night. She did turn to me as I was leaving the room and say:
"Daddy, um, er, will you, um, um, will you tell mommy, um, please just tell mommy that
I love her."
Somehow that makes it all worthwhile.
*
So last night I put Shy to bed. It was only about 10 minutes later when she came out to the living room and said she was scared. Of course we asked her what she was afraid of and she responded with "I don't know, I am just scared"
We tried to make her feel better saying that we were here and there was nothing to be scared of. She wasn't buying it. She just kept saying she was scared and didn't want to be alone in her bedroom. No matter what we said, it wasn't helping.
She wanted to be with an "adult" as she put it.
We tried for about 10 minutes to get her to go back to bed, but she kept telling us she was scared and didn't know what she was scared of. When she started to cry and it looked like she was going to get hysterical, we said that she could lie down on the couch next to mommy and fall asleep.
She was good with that, and indeed fell asleep. In only about 10 minutes. It was certainly easier to let her fall asleep there then it was to try to get her back into bed. Whether or not we will pay for that with a future desire to fall asleep with us remains to be seen.
As regular readers know, it has always been an issue with Shy to fall asleep in her own bed. She spent a long time where she would not stay in her room at all and would not fall asleep at all. She would stay awake until DW and I went to bed and then come into our room. She would not stay in her room and fall asleep there no matter what. We finally got through that stage and have been "blessed" with her appearance on a random basis. Sometimes going weeks without seeing her in our room to stretches of three days in a row where we would wake up with her asleep in our bed.
Last night, however was the first time she came out while we were still up and was saying she was scared but didn't know of what. When talking to a fellow worker, she has started with the same issue with her little girl who is about the same age as Shy. Fortunately for them, there is an older sister and that is where the younger girl chooses to go.
I guess it is just a stage that we will have to endure. We shall see how often it comes up that she has to fall asleep in the living room with us. On the other side of the coin, when I carried her into her bedroom, she did wake up when I laid her down. She didn't ask to get up and come back with us, and in fact, didn't' get up the rest of the night. She did turn to me as I was leaving the room and say:
"Daddy, um, er, will you, um, um, will you tell mommy, um, please just tell mommy that
I love her."
Somehow that makes it all worthwhile.
*
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Adoption - an "E" Ticket Ride!!
*
Tomorrow we are heading up to Maine. It is Amy's birthday on Monday so we are going up for the weekend partially to celebrate her birthday, but also to visit with Kari, and our sons-in-law and most importantly for us, our grandson.
It is also an opportunity for Shy to visit with her sisters. Those are adopted sisters. Our biological children. Shy asked if she could have play dates with her brothers (biological). We sent a message to the adoptive parents we have contact with, but unfortunately, it looks like that won't happen. Shy has not seen her two oldest biological brothers in over a year. She has seen the other two (one a year older and one three years older) a couple of times since we moved to Cape Cod.
One of them lives in Portland, Maine and is unable to get to the area we will be visiting. We do drive through Portland, but we don't want to limit our visit and leave our grandson earlier than we have to, so that is not looking great. The other adoptive parent we have not heard back from. They live very close to where we are visiting, so a little play time and visit with him is certainly doable.
So, this all begs the question. Does Shy really want to have a play date with her "brothers" because she feels the biological connection to them? or is it more likely that she just likes to have play dates and these are a couple of boys that she can have a play date with and are the only ones she knows close to her age up there in Maine? Those are not the only questions.
What about the questions for DW and I. Is this becoming less and less of a priority for us now that all 5 of the children have been adopted. The parents of the two older boys seem to want to have absolutely nothing to do with the three younger ones. Are we heading that way? If so, I am not sure why. Of course we want Shy to be able to visit with her brothers if that is what she wants, but.....Is there something in the back of my mind that is afraid of losing Shy to her biological family when she gets older? The less she sees them now, is that less likely or more likely to happen?
How important is it for a 6 year old to maintain a bond with her biological family? Does it become less important or more important as time moves on? Will not seeing them often make her want to see them more. (You know the old "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing). Will seeing them less make her more likely to forget them? Will that cause a more serious desire to "find" them when she reaches 18? or 21"?
Well, I guess with everything, all kids are different. All DW and I can do is hang on for the ride and see where it takes us. For those of you older folks that remember, this foster care/adoption is definitely an "E-Ticket" ride. (for you younger folks, this does not refer to an airlines "electronic" ticket" )
*
Tomorrow we are heading up to Maine. It is Amy's birthday on Monday so we are going up for the weekend partially to celebrate her birthday, but also to visit with Kari, and our sons-in-law and most importantly for us, our grandson.
It is also an opportunity for Shy to visit with her sisters. Those are adopted sisters. Our biological children. Shy asked if she could have play dates with her brothers (biological). We sent a message to the adoptive parents we have contact with, but unfortunately, it looks like that won't happen. Shy has not seen her two oldest biological brothers in over a year. She has seen the other two (one a year older and one three years older) a couple of times since we moved to Cape Cod.
One of them lives in Portland, Maine and is unable to get to the area we will be visiting. We do drive through Portland, but we don't want to limit our visit and leave our grandson earlier than we have to, so that is not looking great. The other adoptive parent we have not heard back from. They live very close to where we are visiting, so a little play time and visit with him is certainly doable.
So, this all begs the question. Does Shy really want to have a play date with her "brothers" because she feels the biological connection to them? or is it more likely that she just likes to have play dates and these are a couple of boys that she can have a play date with and are the only ones she knows close to her age up there in Maine? Those are not the only questions.
What about the questions for DW and I. Is this becoming less and less of a priority for us now that all 5 of the children have been adopted. The parents of the two older boys seem to want to have absolutely nothing to do with the three younger ones. Are we heading that way? If so, I am not sure why. Of course we want Shy to be able to visit with her brothers if that is what she wants, but.....Is there something in the back of my mind that is afraid of losing Shy to her biological family when she gets older? The less she sees them now, is that less likely or more likely to happen?
How important is it for a 6 year old to maintain a bond with her biological family? Does it become less important or more important as time moves on? Will not seeing them often make her want to see them more. (You know the old "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing). Will seeing them less make her more likely to forget them? Will that cause a more serious desire to "find" them when she reaches 18? or 21"?
Well, I guess with everything, all kids are different. All DW and I can do is hang on for the ride and see where it takes us. For those of you older folks that remember, this foster care/adoption is definitely an "E-Ticket" ride. (for you younger folks, this does not refer to an airlines "electronic" ticket" )
*
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Finally.....A report on the Cruise
*
So here is a short report on the cruise.......
We got to the terminal at Port Everglades at 10:30 on sail date. They had a small area set up to check in those of us who arrived early, and we got to sit in a special area to board first since we are high enough up in Royal Caribbeans "Crown and Anchor Society" to garner such treatment. You know a child travelling with you attains the level you are at whether or not they have travelled as much as required to attain such status. That means that Shyanne will get special treatment on her next cruise as though she had been on ten cruises with Royal Caribbean, even though she has only been on one.
Anyway....We waited for the main terminal to open up and to get let on the ship. While we waited, we noticed our new friends from Cape Cod come in the door. We went over and said hello to them and told then we would see them on board. As it turned out, we saw a lot of them on board the ship and enjoyed our time together. They are really great people and fun to be with.
So....very shortly after 11:00am they led us into the main terminal and through the door to the gangway. Of course we had to stop to get our "All Aboard" picture taken and then we made our way onto the ship. Shy got a special green bracelet that showed where her muster station was in the event of an emergency. That way, if she wasn't with us, a crew member would know exactly where to take her to be with us.
We looked around the ship for a little while, but then Shy wanted to go into the pool. We headed up that way and we spent some time in the pool, in the hot tubs, and just enjoying the Florida sun. Shy participated in the festivities at sail-away and enjoyed dancing with everyone on the deck. It was then time to go to the cabin to get ready for our first dinner and see if our luggage had arrived.
We thought that since we had gotten there early and they had taken our luggage early, we would get it early. Well, we were just about the last ones on our deck to get our luggage. Shy was getting very anxious and concerned about it as the outfit we had carried on for dinner was not the one she really wanted to wear. This falls in the category of "a women's prerogative". Anyway, the luggage finally came and we went off to dinner.
Lucky us!!!! There was another little girl just a year younger than Shyanne at the table with us. She was a little girl from New York, and she was absolutely adorable. The two of them sat together at evening meals and had a wonderful time together..
Day two started the "Adventure Ocean" camp that Royal Caribbean runs on their ships. It was absolutely wonderful Shyanne loved it and wanted to spend as much time as possible with that group. There were times we had to literally pull her away so that we could spend some family time together. What a great program and a great reason for families to go on cruises. At least with Royal Caribbean.
We did do a couple of excursions while on the cruise. We did one on Saint Martin to the butterfly farm and then to Orient Beach. Shy loved both. We also did an excursion on St. Kitts that included a plantation, a fort, and a beach. It was absolutely wonderful. Shyanne had a great time and we all enjoyed just being together.
We can't wait to take another cruise. It was certainly something we all needed after such a long period without a good vacation trip like that. I will write more about the cruise and different little things that happened along the way, but I just wanted to let everyone know how wonderful our 8 days at sea were, and to recommend it to anyone who wants to have a great time!!
A few little tips for travelling with children that we were aware of, but can lead to problems if you don't heed them:...
Make sure you have current passports for everyone!!!
If your child does not have the same last name as both parents, make sure you have a birth certificate that shows that.
If you are a divorced parent make sure you have a letter from the other parent authorizing you to take the child on board the ship and out of the country.
In any of the above cases, and as far as I am concerned, anytime you are travelling with children, a birth certificate to go along with that other information is always a good thing to have.
Make sure you have copies of all of the above documentation to take with you when you go ashore on any islands. IF there is a problem on the island, it can help make things move quicker if you have all the numbers with you.
All of the above can be a problem especially for adoptive families, so please make sure you check everything in advance so you don't have a problem at the pier that could ruin your vacation.
Foster Families typically have to have special permission to take children out of the country. When Shyanne was in foster care with us, we were unable to take her out of the country and it just about took an act of congress to take her out of the State of Maine, so be sure to check with your case worker before you plan any travel with a foster child.
*
So here is a short report on the cruise.......
We got to the terminal at Port Everglades at 10:30 on sail date. They had a small area set up to check in those of us who arrived early, and we got to sit in a special area to board first since we are high enough up in Royal Caribbeans "Crown and Anchor Society" to garner such treatment. You know a child travelling with you attains the level you are at whether or not they have travelled as much as required to attain such status. That means that Shyanne will get special treatment on her next cruise as though she had been on ten cruises with Royal Caribbean, even though she has only been on one.
Anyway....We waited for the main terminal to open up and to get let on the ship. While we waited, we noticed our new friends from Cape Cod come in the door. We went over and said hello to them and told then we would see them on board. As it turned out, we saw a lot of them on board the ship and enjoyed our time together. They are really great people and fun to be with.
So....very shortly after 11:00am they led us into the main terminal and through the door to the gangway. Of course we had to stop to get our "All Aboard" picture taken and then we made our way onto the ship. Shy got a special green bracelet that showed where her muster station was in the event of an emergency. That way, if she wasn't with us, a crew member would know exactly where to take her to be with us.
We looked around the ship for a little while, but then Shy wanted to go into the pool. We headed up that way and we spent some time in the pool, in the hot tubs, and just enjoying the Florida sun. Shy participated in the festivities at sail-away and enjoyed dancing with everyone on the deck. It was then time to go to the cabin to get ready for our first dinner and see if our luggage had arrived.
We thought that since we had gotten there early and they had taken our luggage early, we would get it early. Well, we were just about the last ones on our deck to get our luggage. Shy was getting very anxious and concerned about it as the outfit we had carried on for dinner was not the one she really wanted to wear. This falls in the category of "a women's prerogative". Anyway, the luggage finally came and we went off to dinner.
Lucky us!!!! There was another little girl just a year younger than Shyanne at the table with us. She was a little girl from New York, and she was absolutely adorable. The two of them sat together at evening meals and had a wonderful time together..
Day two started the "Adventure Ocean" camp that Royal Caribbean runs on their ships. It was absolutely wonderful Shyanne loved it and wanted to spend as much time as possible with that group. There were times we had to literally pull her away so that we could spend some family time together. What a great program and a great reason for families to go on cruises. At least with Royal Caribbean.
We did do a couple of excursions while on the cruise. We did one on Saint Martin to the butterfly farm and then to Orient Beach. Shy loved both. We also did an excursion on St. Kitts that included a plantation, a fort, and a beach. It was absolutely wonderful. Shyanne had a great time and we all enjoyed just being together.
We can't wait to take another cruise. It was certainly something we all needed after such a long period without a good vacation trip like that. I will write more about the cruise and different little things that happened along the way, but I just wanted to let everyone know how wonderful our 8 days at sea were, and to recommend it to anyone who wants to have a great time!!
A few little tips for travelling with children that we were aware of, but can lead to problems if you don't heed them:...
Make sure you have current passports for everyone!!!
If your child does not have the same last name as both parents, make sure you have a birth certificate that shows that.
If you are a divorced parent make sure you have a letter from the other parent authorizing you to take the child on board the ship and out of the country.
In any of the above cases, and as far as I am concerned, anytime you are travelling with children, a birth certificate to go along with that other information is always a good thing to have.
Make sure you have copies of all of the above documentation to take with you when you go ashore on any islands. IF there is a problem on the island, it can help make things move quicker if you have all the numbers with you.
All of the above can be a problem especially for adoptive families, so please make sure you check everything in advance so you don't have a problem at the pier that could ruin your vacation.
Foster Families typically have to have special permission to take children out of the country. When Shyanne was in foster care with us, we were unable to take her out of the country and it just about took an act of congress to take her out of the State of Maine, so be sure to check with your case worker before you plan any travel with a foster child.
*
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Good News from the Eye Doctor
*
Shyanne had an eye doctor appointment yesterday morning and the news was pretty good. As long as she keeps wearing her glasses 24/7 (except of course when swimming or showering) then she probably won't have to go back to wearing a patch. This is super news for us.
Shyanne despised the patch. It affected her so bad that DW and I hated to put it on. It required one of us to hold her down while the other put it on. Then whoever held her down, had to continue to hold her for up to an hour before she would totally calm down and be relaxed enough to go about her business with the patch in place.
We are not sure why it was so traumatic for her. She is super sensitive about a lot of things, but that has been mostly related to sight and sound, and usually not touch. We don't think this is part of a sensory type thing in that regard, but of course we have no idea what it could be from.
There is so much that we know went on in her first 2 1/2 years, but the scary part is that we know we don't know everything that went on. This leads us to start thinking about what possibly could have happened that would cause this reaction.
When we start thinking it is never a good thing. So while we try not to think too much about it, there are times when we can't help ourselves. Putting on the patch was obviously some of those times. So, news that she won't have to wear it at least until September, and that if she follows the Doctor's instructions, she probably won't have to wear it at all, is great news for all of us.
*
Shyanne had an eye doctor appointment yesterday morning and the news was pretty good. As long as she keeps wearing her glasses 24/7 (except of course when swimming or showering) then she probably won't have to go back to wearing a patch. This is super news for us.
Shyanne despised the patch. It affected her so bad that DW and I hated to put it on. It required one of us to hold her down while the other put it on. Then whoever held her down, had to continue to hold her for up to an hour before she would totally calm down and be relaxed enough to go about her business with the patch in place.
We are not sure why it was so traumatic for her. She is super sensitive about a lot of things, but that has been mostly related to sight and sound, and usually not touch. We don't think this is part of a sensory type thing in that regard, but of course we have no idea what it could be from.
There is so much that we know went on in her first 2 1/2 years, but the scary part is that we know we don't know everything that went on. This leads us to start thinking about what possibly could have happened that would cause this reaction.
When we start thinking it is never a good thing. So while we try not to think too much about it, there are times when we can't help ourselves. Putting on the patch was obviously some of those times. So, news that she won't have to wear it at least until September, and that if she follows the Doctor's instructions, she probably won't have to wear it at all, is great news for all of us.
*
Friday, March 9, 2012
I'm Tired Already
*
the weekend isn't even here and I am already tired from it. No, I am not tired from the particularly long week at work, although that doesn't help. On this Friday, I am wondering if I will make it through the weekend.
Tonight after work is the family service at temple. It starts with dinner and then the service. We will be home by 8:30 or so. The tomorrow morning it is up early as Shyanne has another Girl Scout event. This one at the Heritage Plantation in Sandwich, MA. It is supposed to be a wonderful place for children. I haven't been there yet, but we are planning on taking a trip there this summer anyway, so I will see it then.
While Shy is doing that, DW and I are going to have a day to ourselves. Maybe do a little shopping up in Plymouth, go out to lunch and just enjoy ourselves.
Then on Sunday we are up bright and early again and off to Sunday School. There is some kind of family thing going on there, so we will be staying for that. We do have to leave immediately after that and be on the road by 11:30 to head up to Beverly, MA. There the high school is putting on "Thoroughly Modern Millie" and we are going to see it. Our niece (Shy's cousin) is in it, so we thought it would be nice to go see.
We won't be able to get home in time for dinner, so it will be dinner on the road somewhere and then home again late on Sunday evening just in time to get into bed and do another week at work.
The good thing is that shy does so much better when she is busy. She absolutely does not like having nothing to do. I like that about her. She always has to be doing something. While sitting in front of the television can keep her entertained for a little bit of time, as she grows, she seems to enjoy that less and less......good for her...
If I make it through the weekend, I am sure I will have something to write about on Monday....see you then
*
the weekend isn't even here and I am already tired from it. No, I am not tired from the particularly long week at work, although that doesn't help. On this Friday, I am wondering if I will make it through the weekend.
Tonight after work is the family service at temple. It starts with dinner and then the service. We will be home by 8:30 or so. The tomorrow morning it is up early as Shyanne has another Girl Scout event. This one at the Heritage Plantation in Sandwich, MA. It is supposed to be a wonderful place for children. I haven't been there yet, but we are planning on taking a trip there this summer anyway, so I will see it then.
While Shy is doing that, DW and I are going to have a day to ourselves. Maybe do a little shopping up in Plymouth, go out to lunch and just enjoy ourselves.
Then on Sunday we are up bright and early again and off to Sunday School. There is some kind of family thing going on there, so we will be staying for that. We do have to leave immediately after that and be on the road by 11:30 to head up to Beverly, MA. There the high school is putting on "Thoroughly Modern Millie" and we are going to see it. Our niece (Shy's cousin) is in it, so we thought it would be nice to go see.
We won't be able to get home in time for dinner, so it will be dinner on the road somewhere and then home again late on Sunday evening just in time to get into bed and do another week at work.
The good thing is that shy does so much better when she is busy. She absolutely does not like having nothing to do. I like that about her. She always has to be doing something. While sitting in front of the television can keep her entertained for a little bit of time, as she grows, she seems to enjoy that less and less......good for her...
If I make it through the weekend, I am sure I will have something to write about on Monday....see you then
*
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Look at How Far I have Come!!
*
Last evening was the Purim "service" at Temple. Now I put service in quotes because the annual Purim celebration is just about anything but a service. To give you a rough idea of why I say that, let me just say that the Rabbi was dressed as Elvis, and the ceremony consisted of many Elvis tunes that had little different wording to them
To those of you who are not Jewish, I will explain. This is a celebration of that comes from the Biblical book of "Esther" To make a long story short...(not at all the tradition) Esther became Queen of Persia, but had never revealed to King Ahashverus that she was Jewish. An edict was issued to kill all the Jews by a man named Hamen. Esther revealed she was Jewish and the Jews were allowed to defend themselves which they did and Hamen was hung and his ten sons were killed during battle.
One might like to say that the Jews and the Persians lived happily ever after, but that is certainly not the case. Let's just say they lived happily together for many years after that.
In any event, the celebration includes wearing of masks and costumes and the service is always a lot of fun. Noise makers are sounded by everyone in the congregation anytime the name "Hamen" is read during the service.
So, to get back to the point of the this blog entry......Three years ago we started Shy at dance classes. She watched Olivia on television and wanted to take ballet classes. We started her in a dance program that included both ballet and tap. Naturally, they had a recital at the end of the year where all the kids get up on the stage and perform for the audience.....well, not quite all of the kids. In Shyanne's class there were two kids that just stood there the whole time and looked out into the auditorium. Yes, one of them was Shyanne.
HOWEVER, Shyanne did take a bow at the end of the dance she did not perform.
The following year, she was a little more active, but not quite totally performing the dance and still kind of just looking out at the audience.
Last night, as the ceremony was taking place, every time there was an Elvis song played, there were a lot of older kids dancing across the bima (stage). It didn't take long for Shy to find her way up there and start dancing as well. Every time she went across the stage performing her little dance, she had a HUGE smile on her face.
The smile seemed to say "Look at how far I have come!!!"
She was so happy and so delighted to be up there and dancing. It was a real joy to see.
She has come such a long way in a few short years. I can't wait to see this year's dance class recital. She has added Jazz Dance to her classes as well this year. It should be a great time.
*
Last evening was the Purim "service" at Temple. Now I put service in quotes because the annual Purim celebration is just about anything but a service. To give you a rough idea of why I say that, let me just say that the Rabbi was dressed as Elvis, and the ceremony consisted of many Elvis tunes that had little different wording to them
To those of you who are not Jewish, I will explain. This is a celebration of that comes from the Biblical book of "Esther" To make a long story short...(not at all the tradition) Esther became Queen of Persia, but had never revealed to King Ahashverus that she was Jewish. An edict was issued to kill all the Jews by a man named Hamen. Esther revealed she was Jewish and the Jews were allowed to defend themselves which they did and Hamen was hung and his ten sons were killed during battle.
One might like to say that the Jews and the Persians lived happily ever after, but that is certainly not the case. Let's just say they lived happily together for many years after that.
In any event, the celebration includes wearing of masks and costumes and the service is always a lot of fun. Noise makers are sounded by everyone in the congregation anytime the name "Hamen" is read during the service.
So, to get back to the point of the this blog entry......Three years ago we started Shy at dance classes. She watched Olivia on television and wanted to take ballet classes. We started her in a dance program that included both ballet and tap. Naturally, they had a recital at the end of the year where all the kids get up on the stage and perform for the audience.....well, not quite all of the kids. In Shyanne's class there were two kids that just stood there the whole time and looked out into the auditorium. Yes, one of them was Shyanne.
HOWEVER, Shyanne did take a bow at the end of the dance she did not perform.
The following year, she was a little more active, but not quite totally performing the dance and still kind of just looking out at the audience.
Last night, as the ceremony was taking place, every time there was an Elvis song played, there were a lot of older kids dancing across the bima (stage). It didn't take long for Shy to find her way up there and start dancing as well. Every time she went across the stage performing her little dance, she had a HUGE smile on her face.
The smile seemed to say "Look at how far I have come!!!"
She was so happy and so delighted to be up there and dancing. It was a real joy to see.
She has come such a long way in a few short years. I can't wait to see this year's dance class recital. She has added Jazz Dance to her classes as well this year. It should be a great time.
*
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Are They Really Problems?
*
Yesterday was Shyanne's busy day. School, followed by Chess club. Dinner as soon as she walks in the door after dance was followed by homework, get washed up and into pajamas and then off to bed.
She still woke up around 10:00pm as we were watching the end of Alcatraz. (I had to DVR it as DW was at a PTA meeting). She didn't like it and covered her face while she sat with us. She then went into bed, but at some time during the night she came into our bedroom and when I awoke this morning, I found her lying in the bed between DW and I.
It has been a long time since that happened, and I am not sure why it did last night. Whether or not Alcatraz caused her some problems or not, I don't know. It just seems to be too easy an excuse to make for kids. "Scary movies or TV shows give them nightmares etc etc."
Today Shy will go to her play therapist after school so maybe she will be able to shed some light on it. Like I said, it hasn't happened since well before we went away on our trip, so I don't think it is a real problem, but I want to be sure we keep it from becoming that.
I think a lot of times the things we see as "problems" for Shyanne are really our own problems. Whether it be coming into our room at night, getting angry over something that is really meaningless, coming crying to us when there is absolutely no reason, or yelling at us when nothing happened. We want to assign every issue a reason, when in reality, we just have to realize she is 6 years old and these things would happen regardless of her past....right???
*
Yesterday was Shyanne's busy day. School, followed by Chess club. Dinner as soon as she walks in the door after dance was followed by homework, get washed up and into pajamas and then off to bed.
She still woke up around 10:00pm as we were watching the end of Alcatraz. (I had to DVR it as DW was at a PTA meeting). She didn't like it and covered her face while she sat with us. She then went into bed, but at some time during the night she came into our bedroom and when I awoke this morning, I found her lying in the bed between DW and I.
It has been a long time since that happened, and I am not sure why it did last night. Whether or not Alcatraz caused her some problems or not, I don't know. It just seems to be too easy an excuse to make for kids. "Scary movies or TV shows give them nightmares etc etc."
Today Shy will go to her play therapist after school so maybe she will be able to shed some light on it. Like I said, it hasn't happened since well before we went away on our trip, so I don't think it is a real problem, but I want to be sure we keep it from becoming that.
I think a lot of times the things we see as "problems" for Shyanne are really our own problems. Whether it be coming into our room at night, getting angry over something that is really meaningless, coming crying to us when there is absolutely no reason, or yelling at us when nothing happened. We want to assign every issue a reason, when in reality, we just have to realize she is 6 years old and these things would happen regardless of her past....right???
*
Friday, February 10, 2012
Going Away
*
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I start my vacation after work today. We don't leave until Tuesday morning, but we are certainly looking forward to our trip. We will be off to Florida for 5 days, then onto a cruise ship and sailing around the Caribbean for 8 days.
I know DW and I will have a wonderful time. I am guessing that Shy is going to have the time of her life! I certainly hope so anyway. I don't see how she won't have a blast. They have all sorts of things for kids to do. There will be all kinds of kids her age to do it with. There is all kinds of food to eat. You can eat food any time you want. You can serve yourself Ice Cream anytime you want.
What child wouldn't like all of that!!!
We just can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees the cruise ship for the first time. They are so big and for a child her size they have to be quite a sight. Especially when one has never been on anything bigger than the ferry that runs from Woods Hole to Martha's Wineyard.
Now, don't get me wrong, that is not a small ferry, but it is nowhere near the size of "Navigator of the Seas" which on which we will be embarking a week from tomorrow!!
So, I may try to get on here and do a little blogging either before the cruise or during the cruise, but if you don't hear from me, just know that DW, Shy, and I are having a wonderful time!!!
*
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I start my vacation after work today. We don't leave until Tuesday morning, but we are certainly looking forward to our trip. We will be off to Florida for 5 days, then onto a cruise ship and sailing around the Caribbean for 8 days.
I know DW and I will have a wonderful time. I am guessing that Shy is going to have the time of her life! I certainly hope so anyway. I don't see how she won't have a blast. They have all sorts of things for kids to do. There will be all kinds of kids her age to do it with. There is all kinds of food to eat. You can eat food any time you want. You can serve yourself Ice Cream anytime you want.
What child wouldn't like all of that!!!
We just can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees the cruise ship for the first time. They are so big and for a child her size they have to be quite a sight. Especially when one has never been on anything bigger than the ferry that runs from Woods Hole to Martha's Wineyard.
Now, don't get me wrong, that is not a small ferry, but it is nowhere near the size of "Navigator of the Seas" which on which we will be embarking a week from tomorrow!!
So, I may try to get on here and do a little blogging either before the cruise or during the cruise, but if you don't hear from me, just know that DW, Shy, and I are having a wonderful time!!!
*
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Girl Scout Cookies
*
Well, the Girl Scout Cookies are in, and yesterday we had almost 100 boxes at our house. No, we didn't buy them all, just 10 boxes. The other were bought by family, friend, and co-workers. Now the job of delivering them to the people who ordered them and collecting the money begins. It is certainly a big task, and since we are going away on Tuesday, it is a task we would like to have completed by Monday.
I am not sure that is possible, but we are going to give it our best! Shy went ahead and started delivering as soon as she got home form school yesterday. She also started eating. She had 2 of the Peanut Butter Patties. I find that very disappointing. They are my favorites. On the other hand, DW likes the Shortbread cookies. I wish Shy would find those to be the ones she liked the most!
If her sales are any indication, the Peanut Butter Patties, Thin Mints, and Caramel De-Lites are the three biggest sellers. I also like the Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies myself. I think everyone probably has a Girl Scout Cookie they like.
I wonder. Is there anyone who has never had a Girl Scout Cookie? I would find that so hard to believe. This time of year they are ever present in the Northeast. They have booths set up at malls and stores all over the area. They also have girls selling to friends relatives and neighbors. I think it may be one of the most widely marketed items in the country.
I guess I would have to ask this question. Is there anyone out there who has never had a Girl Scout Cookie? If you haven't, why not?
Just Curious?
Well, the Girl Scout Cookies are in, and yesterday we had almost 100 boxes at our house. No, we didn't buy them all, just 10 boxes. The other were bought by family, friend, and co-workers. Now the job of delivering them to the people who ordered them and collecting the money begins. It is certainly a big task, and since we are going away on Tuesday, it is a task we would like to have completed by Monday.
I am not sure that is possible, but we are going to give it our best! Shy went ahead and started delivering as soon as she got home form school yesterday. She also started eating. She had 2 of the Peanut Butter Patties. I find that very disappointing. They are my favorites. On the other hand, DW likes the Shortbread cookies. I wish Shy would find those to be the ones she liked the most!
If her sales are any indication, the Peanut Butter Patties, Thin Mints, and Caramel De-Lites are the three biggest sellers. I also like the Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies myself. I think everyone probably has a Girl Scout Cookie they like.
I wonder. Is there anyone who has never had a Girl Scout Cookie? I would find that so hard to believe. This time of year they are ever present in the Northeast. They have booths set up at malls and stores all over the area. They also have girls selling to friends relatives and neighbors. I think it may be one of the most widely marketed items in the country.
I guess I would have to ask this question. Is there anyone out there who has never had a Girl Scout Cookie? If you haven't, why not?
Just Curious?
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Homework
*
When I was in first grade, I don't ever remember having homework. As a matter of fact, I don't think we started homework until closer to third or fourth grade. I really don't remember exactly, but I do know there was no homework in first grade.
That is not the case with Shy. She comes home from school with homework almost every night. Now it isn't time consuming homework as it usually only takes a few minutes to complete. She may have a math paper to do, or a small book to read to us. She is not crazy about the math but she certainly enjoys reading to us, and we love when she does that. For some reason it is much more enjoyable to have her read to us, then for us to read to her. I think it is that pride thing going on as to how well she can read and how much progress she has made this year in reading and writing.
For the last few weeks they have started with spelling words, and they spend a lot of time with it. The children actually get to pick out their own words each week. Yesterday Shyanne came home with cinnamon in her word list. Certainly not an easy word to even pronounce for some people, let alone spell. (Have you ever heard Emeril say it?)
So last night we started quizzing her on her words for this week. It was her first night with these words, so we certainly didn't expect her to know them all. When we saw cinnamon on her list we were quite frankly astounded, and expected that to be a difficult one for her.
So we worked with her on her spelling words for about 10 minutes. She got most of them and was able to get cinnamon only right after she looked at it carefully. No big deal. She had all week, and even if she was only close, that was fine.
I just got a text message from DW. It read:
"Shy cracks me up. She wanted an apple with cinnamon and then
she says, "by the way cinnamon C-I-N-N-A-M-O-N." with a big
grin on her face."
No big deal in the overall scheme of things, but just another one of those small but noticeable milestones in the growth of a child that if you blink, you might miss. I don't want to miss any of those. They are truly what raising a child is all about.
*
When I was in first grade, I don't ever remember having homework. As a matter of fact, I don't think we started homework until closer to third or fourth grade. I really don't remember exactly, but I do know there was no homework in first grade.
That is not the case with Shy. She comes home from school with homework almost every night. Now it isn't time consuming homework as it usually only takes a few minutes to complete. She may have a math paper to do, or a small book to read to us. She is not crazy about the math but she certainly enjoys reading to us, and we love when she does that. For some reason it is much more enjoyable to have her read to us, then for us to read to her. I think it is that pride thing going on as to how well she can read and how much progress she has made this year in reading and writing.
For the last few weeks they have started with spelling words, and they spend a lot of time with it. The children actually get to pick out their own words each week. Yesterday Shyanne came home with cinnamon in her word list. Certainly not an easy word to even pronounce for some people, let alone spell. (Have you ever heard Emeril say it?)
So last night we started quizzing her on her words for this week. It was her first night with these words, so we certainly didn't expect her to know them all. When we saw cinnamon on her list we were quite frankly astounded, and expected that to be a difficult one for her.
So we worked with her on her spelling words for about 10 minutes. She got most of them and was able to get cinnamon only right after she looked at it carefully. No big deal. She had all week, and even if she was only close, that was fine.
I just got a text message from DW. It read:
"Shy cracks me up. She wanted an apple with cinnamon and then
she says, "by the way cinnamon C-I-N-N-A-M-O-N." with a big
grin on her face."
No big deal in the overall scheme of things, but just another one of those small but noticeable milestones in the growth of a child that if you blink, you might miss. I don't want to miss any of those. They are truly what raising a child is all about.
*
Monday, February 6, 2012
Excitement?? Or Something Else?
*
Apparently Shy has heard way too much about our pending trip to Florida and the ensuing cruise to the Caribbean.
yesterday we were in the car on the way to Sunday School and DW and I were talking about the trip and how excited we were getting since it was only 9 days until we fly to Florida. So, naturally I asked Shy if she too was excited.
Her response was "not really"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT REALLY!!!!!???? I didn't actually shout or even say that, but I was certainly thinking it! I couldn't believe with all the talk Linda and I have been giving it over the past month or two that she wouldn't be real excited about it.
It was just that talk though that was making her less excited, as when I asked why she wasn't so excited she responded with:
"You and Mommy have told me all about it already, so I know all about it.
Now to me, it is the knowing about it that makes it exciting. Knowing what I am going to do in Florida and how much we are all going to enjoy the cruise. That is what makes it exciting and that is what I am so looking forward to.
To Shy however, apparently excitement is only about something that you don't know about. Once you know about it, I guess it is no longer exciting. I am not sure I get that, and maybe she is confusing excitement with something else, but I certainly don't know what.
What I do know is that once she gets on that ship and has the chance to do all the things they have for kids, I am sure she won't be able to wait until the next cruise and will probably want to go right back on a ship as soon as possible.
At least I hope she likes it as much as DW and I do.
*
Apparently Shy has heard way too much about our pending trip to Florida and the ensuing cruise to the Caribbean.
yesterday we were in the car on the way to Sunday School and DW and I were talking about the trip and how excited we were getting since it was only 9 days until we fly to Florida. So, naturally I asked Shy if she too was excited.
Her response was "not really"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT REALLY!!!!!???? I didn't actually shout or even say that, but I was certainly thinking it! I couldn't believe with all the talk Linda and I have been giving it over the past month or two that she wouldn't be real excited about it.
It was just that talk though that was making her less excited, as when I asked why she wasn't so excited she responded with:
"You and Mommy have told me all about it already, so I know all about it.
Now to me, it is the knowing about it that makes it exciting. Knowing what I am going to do in Florida and how much we are all going to enjoy the cruise. That is what makes it exciting and that is what I am so looking forward to.
To Shy however, apparently excitement is only about something that you don't know about. Once you know about it, I guess it is no longer exciting. I am not sure I get that, and maybe she is confusing excitement with something else, but I certainly don't know what.
What I do know is that once she gets on that ship and has the chance to do all the things they have for kids, I am sure she won't be able to wait until the next cruise and will probably want to go right back on a ship as soon as possible.
At least I hope she likes it as much as DW and I do.
*
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Trouble in School
*
Yesterday we got an e-mail from Shy's school teacher. It seems that she was not listening to what the teacher was telling her during math class and as a result, the teacher took 5 minutes of recess away from Shy.
When we asked her about it, she did not want to talk about it at all and got quite irate about it.
We explained that that behavior was not acceptable and it was important that she listened to her teacher. She said she didn't care about recess and when we told her no TV after dinner, she said she didn't care about that either. She got quite angry and started yelling at us. We know she was more upset with her self than with us, so we just kind of let that part of it go.
She just didn't want to talk about it. She knew we were upset with her, and I think that was enough. So after dinner we just let her read and finish up her homework and then it was off to bed.
When DW was putting her into bed, she said she was sorry that she didn't behave well in class, and that she was also sorry for the way she acted about it at home. She was very loving.
These are the times when we believe that she is still testing us. I think she wants to see if we will still love her no matter what she does. Of course the answer is yes. The only thing I worry about is how far she will go to see if we still love her. Of course our love for her will never waiver, but we don't want her to do anything in the future that is going to require more than a simple apology to make things a little better. The last thing we want is for her to be labelled as a trouble maker by the teachers or the school.
And I know most of you already know this, but we do still lover he and always will. She is an absolutely wonderful and beautiful little girl, and nothing she does could ever change that.
The challenge is getting her to believe that!
*
Yesterday we got an e-mail from Shy's school teacher. It seems that she was not listening to what the teacher was telling her during math class and as a result, the teacher took 5 minutes of recess away from Shy.
When we asked her about it, she did not want to talk about it at all and got quite irate about it.
We explained that that behavior was not acceptable and it was important that she listened to her teacher. She said she didn't care about recess and when we told her no TV after dinner, she said she didn't care about that either. She got quite angry and started yelling at us. We know she was more upset with her self than with us, so we just kind of let that part of it go.
She just didn't want to talk about it. She knew we were upset with her, and I think that was enough. So after dinner we just let her read and finish up her homework and then it was off to bed.
When DW was putting her into bed, she said she was sorry that she didn't behave well in class, and that she was also sorry for the way she acted about it at home. She was very loving.
These are the times when we believe that she is still testing us. I think she wants to see if we will still love her no matter what she does. Of course the answer is yes. The only thing I worry about is how far she will go to see if we still love her. Of course our love for her will never waiver, but we don't want her to do anything in the future that is going to require more than a simple apology to make things a little better. The last thing we want is for her to be labelled as a trouble maker by the teachers or the school.
And I know most of you already know this, but we do still lover he and always will. She is an absolutely wonderful and beautiful little girl, and nothing she does could ever change that.
The challenge is getting her to believe that!
*
Friday, January 27, 2012
New Places, New Experiences, New People
*
First.... for those of you interested, Shyanne did earn a sticker yesterday.
Last Saturday Shy and I went to the Northeast Clown Institute being held in Plymouth, Ma. It is a short ride from where we live and Shy likes clowns. I know that there are a lot of people who think clowns are creepy, but Shy likes them.
On the other hand, the clowns I know are all pretty good guys. The main reason we went up there was so I could see some friends of mine. You see this institute is run by the Shriner's Organization. They have clowns at all of their temples and they go around to different events that children may be at, and also work at the Shrine Circus events held around the country.
Most people have heard about the Shriner's Hospitals and all the good work they do. All the funding for those hospitals comes from the Shriners, so they are definitely a great organization, and one I know all Shriners are proud of.
I have two friends from Maine who are Shrine clowns and they were going to be there. One was actually the "Dean" of the institute. So Shy an I went up there. Since their wives were not coming DW was not real interested so she had some alone time at the house while Shy and I had some "Princess/daddy" together time.
We watched as all the clowns paraded on stage for a make-up competition. Unfortunately, they didn't announce winners until the next morning, so we don't know who won. (neither of my friends participated in that particular part). When that was over, Shy and I waited until my two friends could get away. In the meantime, Shy collected cards from all the clowns, and had her face painted as a butterfly by a clown. She really enjoyed all of that.
Then it was off to dinner. We ate at a nice Italian restaurant, and said our good-byes and went home. IT was a great day. Anytime we take Shy anywhere or do anything out of the ordinary she just eats it up. She loves doing things that are different. The more we do different things, the more she thrives. It is the sitting around at home that she doesn't like so much, and that is why there are days that she does not earn a sticker.
She just needs to be doing new things, experiencing new places, and having fun with other people. The cruise in 3 weeks should be just up her alley!!! and ours too!! None of us can wait for that trip and vacation. I am sure I will have plenty of stories to tell when we return.
First.... for those of you interested, Shyanne did earn a sticker yesterday.
Last Saturday Shy and I went to the Northeast Clown Institute being held in Plymouth, Ma. It is a short ride from where we live and Shy likes clowns. I know that there are a lot of people who think clowns are creepy, but Shy likes them.
On the other hand, the clowns I know are all pretty good guys. The main reason we went up there was so I could see some friends of mine. You see this institute is run by the Shriner's Organization. They have clowns at all of their temples and they go around to different events that children may be at, and also work at the Shrine Circus events held around the country.
Most people have heard about the Shriner's Hospitals and all the good work they do. All the funding for those hospitals comes from the Shriners, so they are definitely a great organization, and one I know all Shriners are proud of.
I have two friends from Maine who are Shrine clowns and they were going to be there. One was actually the "Dean" of the institute. So Shy an I went up there. Since their wives were not coming DW was not real interested so she had some alone time at the house while Shy and I had some "Princess/daddy" together time.
We watched as all the clowns paraded on stage for a make-up competition. Unfortunately, they didn't announce winners until the next morning, so we don't know who won. (neither of my friends participated in that particular part). When that was over, Shy and I waited until my two friends could get away. In the meantime, Shy collected cards from all the clowns, and had her face painted as a butterfly by a clown. She really enjoyed all of that.
Then it was off to dinner. We ate at a nice Italian restaurant, and said our good-byes and went home. IT was a great day. Anytime we take Shy anywhere or do anything out of the ordinary she just eats it up. She loves doing things that are different. The more we do different things, the more she thrives. It is the sitting around at home that she doesn't like so much, and that is why there are days that she does not earn a sticker.
She just needs to be doing new things, experiencing new places, and having fun with other people. The cruise in 3 weeks should be just up her alley!!! and ours too!! None of us can wait for that trip and vacation. I am sure I will have plenty of stories to tell when we return.
*
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Time
*
Lately it seems like adoption is coming up everywhere. I was on the computer today at work and there was a popup about adoption.
Last night I was watching American Idol which was followed by a show called "Glee". Not one I normally watch but one of the sub-plots was about adoption.
I was using the button on the top of the blog page that says "next blog" and I have never gotten to a blog about adoption and today there were 2. One was by a person who was adopted and one by someone who had adopted 3 childen.
I am not sure what, if anything, to make of this. DW and I have already decided we will adopt (S). There is no question in our mind. I do worry about (S) when she gets older though and the "Glee" show as well as the one blog by the adoptee were about looking for ones biological mother. It got me to thinking about what we tell (S) about her bio-mother when she asks us.
I know it won't be for a while, but that seemed to be the theme. Apparently a lot of adopted children develop a fantasy about why they were put up for adoption to begin with, and when they go in search of their bio-parents, they have yet another fantasy about what kind of relationship they will have with their "blood relative"
I know (S)s fantasy won't be about the state taking her away from her family and bringing her to us. It is more likely to be something about a single woman who just couldn't keep her children and wanted a better life for them. How will she feel when she finds out her mother essentially chose her abusive father over her and her brothers?
I also know that if she wants, she will be told her parents name and she will always know where her brothers are. I would assume that by the time (S) is old enough to ask the questions, one of her brothers will probably know where her bio-parents are.
It makes me sad to think that she could potentially be very disappointed by what she finds out when she begins asking those questions. I guess we will have to work hard to make sure she is prepared for that day when it comes. I am not sure how to do that, but I think we have time...........then again
Time does fly with children......It seems like yesterday my bio children were playing and fighting in the back yard. My son is doing well on his own 1500 miles from home and I am very proud of him. I am also proud of my daughters. Last year I walked one of my daughters (K)down the aisle and come September, I will be walking (A) down the aisle......
As fast as they grow up, I guess it won't be that long before it will be (S)'s turn..........
I'm getting ahead of myself though. I am going over to Mom TV now to watch Adoption Angles. If you haven't seen it before, check it out Wednesdays 9:00pm Eastern at:
http://www.momtv.com/adoptionangles.html
*
Lately it seems like adoption is coming up everywhere. I was on the computer today at work and there was a popup about adoption.
Last night I was watching American Idol which was followed by a show called "Glee". Not one I normally watch but one of the sub-plots was about adoption.
I was using the button on the top of the blog page that says "next blog" and I have never gotten to a blog about adoption and today there were 2. One was by a person who was adopted and one by someone who had adopted 3 childen.
I am not sure what, if anything, to make of this. DW and I have already decided we will adopt (S). There is no question in our mind. I do worry about (S) when she gets older though and the "Glee" show as well as the one blog by the adoptee were about looking for ones biological mother. It got me to thinking about what we tell (S) about her bio-mother when she asks us.
I know it won't be for a while, but that seemed to be the theme. Apparently a lot of adopted children develop a fantasy about why they were put up for adoption to begin with, and when they go in search of their bio-parents, they have yet another fantasy about what kind of relationship they will have with their "blood relative"
I know (S)s fantasy won't be about the state taking her away from her family and bringing her to us. It is more likely to be something about a single woman who just couldn't keep her children and wanted a better life for them. How will she feel when she finds out her mother essentially chose her abusive father over her and her brothers?
I also know that if she wants, she will be told her parents name and she will always know where her brothers are. I would assume that by the time (S) is old enough to ask the questions, one of her brothers will probably know where her bio-parents are.
It makes me sad to think that she could potentially be very disappointed by what she finds out when she begins asking those questions. I guess we will have to work hard to make sure she is prepared for that day when it comes. I am not sure how to do that, but I think we have time...........then again
Time does fly with children......It seems like yesterday my bio children were playing and fighting in the back yard. My son is doing well on his own 1500 miles from home and I am very proud of him. I am also proud of my daughters. Last year I walked one of my daughters (K)down the aisle and come September, I will be walking (A) down the aisle......
As fast as they grow up, I guess it won't be that long before it will be (S)'s turn..........
I'm getting ahead of myself though. I am going over to Mom TV now to watch Adoption Angles. If you haven't seen it before, check it out Wednesdays 9:00pm Eastern at:
http://www.momtv.com/adoptionangles.html
*
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Life is Good
*
(S) cried again when I left today. At least it will only be a few days until I see her again. She and DW are coming to NH on WEdnesday and we leave for Florida on Thursday night. Hopefully all will go well with the flights and we will wake up Friday am at my parents house in West Palm Beach and ready to go to the pool.
A few days there and then off to Disney for 5 dayes before returning to Palm Beach. When we return we will be lucky as (B) will be there and we will be able toi visit with him as well. DW will be meeting with the CW tomorrow. Still nothing has happened with the case. I check the court web site every day to see if anything has been posted. Nothing yet. I am hoping we are close. I promised I wouldn't get too itchy until after we returned from Florida, but it is tough.
More excitement in the family though. (A) received a proposal this week and will be married in September. Her finace has two children from a previous marriage. Our family is growing like crazy. One year agao we have 3 children. By the winter we now expect to have 4 children and three grandchildren. How is that for growth?!
The funniest part is that (S) will be an aunt to two kids more than twice her age. She is going to be flower girl again too. She is becoming an expert at that.
I don't know if I will have much chance to get on here before Disney, but you can be sure we will have some pictures to post once we get there. All in all......Life is Good.....
(S) cried again when I left today. At least it will only be a few days until I see her again. She and DW are coming to NH on WEdnesday and we leave for Florida on Thursday night. Hopefully all will go well with the flights and we will wake up Friday am at my parents house in West Palm Beach and ready to go to the pool.
A few days there and then off to Disney for 5 dayes before returning to Palm Beach. When we return we will be lucky as (B) will be there and we will be able toi visit with him as well. DW will be meeting with the CW tomorrow. Still nothing has happened with the case. I check the court web site every day to see if anything has been posted. Nothing yet. I am hoping we are close. I promised I wouldn't get too itchy until after we returned from Florida, but it is tough.
More excitement in the family though. (A) received a proposal this week and will be married in September. Her finace has two children from a previous marriage. Our family is growing like crazy. One year agao we have 3 children. By the winter we now expect to have 4 children and three grandchildren. How is that for growth?!
The funniest part is that (S) will be an aunt to two kids more than twice her age. She is going to be flower girl again too. She is becoming an expert at that.
I don't know if I will have much chance to get on here before Disney, but you can be sure we will have some pictures to post once we get there. All in all......Life is Good.....
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Looking Back
*
DW was here visiting with me for the weekend while (A) was taking care of (S) at home. I enjoyed our time alone together, but alas it did have to come to an end. After DW left I got to thinking about how things had changed over the last 2 1/2 years. I think what caused this was the realization this wekeend that (S) has spent more of her life with DW and I then with her biological family.
She spent 2 yrs and 60 days with her biological family. As of today, March 14, she has been with DW and I for 2 years and 82 days.
For those of you who have never read this blog, or don't know the whole story here is a look back at how we got to where we are today.
This was never what we had planned on. We got involved in Foster care because our 3 biological children had moved on and out of the house and were living their own life. We were alone in our home which certainly had more room than we needed and it was crying out for more life. We were watching tv one night and I saw an ad for foster care. I suggested to DW that we ought to look into it. She was not interested.
A couple of days later I got the information on what was required to get involved in foster care. I gave it to DW and asked her to make a call to find out about when the next informational meeting was. She wasn't interested, but I told her we didn't have to do foster care, we could check into it and this didn't commit us to anything.
So we went to the intial meeting and got the application and found out about the training we needed to take. Again, DW was not really interested. Again, I told her we never had to do foster care, but we could fill out the application and going to a class would be fun. We could go out to dinner each class night and then go to class and it would give us something to do other than to sit around the house.
She agreed to take the classes. After the classes, we continued to fill out the application. We still knew that we never had to complete the process to get our license. We never had to do foster care if we didn't want to and once the classes were over that could be the end of it.
We passed the class and then we continued with the licensing process. It was now 6 months since that first conversation and we still didn't have a license, but were a lot closer than we had been. The fire marshall had been to the house, the water from our well had been tested, and we had all kinds of people out to the house to do the required home studies. The only thing left was the fingerprints.
Mine were fine.
DW for some reason does not have much in the way of finger prints. They just couldn't get hers to the point where there was enough definition to get into the computer. We finally had to have a police oifficer attest to the fact that these were the best finger prints he could get. Our background checks were fine, but we still didn't have approval for the finger prints.
So we are waiting for that and still haven't decided if this was something we really wanted to do. Then I came home from work one day and there was a message on the machine to call a woman at DHHS. I figured it had to do with DWs fingerprints, so I called the woman and she advised me they were looking for a family to place child(ren) with. I said "but we don't have a license yet." She said that her supervisor had told her we were close enough and since they really needed people they would be happy for us to do it.
I asked what they were looking for and she said they had a family with 5 children. 2 were already placed and they had 2 boys and a girl to place. They either wanted to place all three together, or keep the boys together and then find a place for the girl. Since we had never done this before and had never given it any thought other than we would only do 1 at a time, I told her that we might be interested in the one girl, but I would have to call DW to see if it was ok. She asked me to call her back as soon as possible. She gave me some preliminary information. I called DW.
I told her that DHHS had called about a placement. She said "but we don't have a license yet" (sound familiar?) . Anyway I told her what I had been told and then told her that they were interested in placing a 2 year old girl. When DW heard that, she was all excited. I knew the answer would be yes as long as everything else was within the parameters we had discussed.
I called DHHS back and asked how long a placement they anticipated this would be as we were going away in a couple of months. They said it probably wouldn't last that long and there was another family that might be interested in taking all 5. (This was my first lesson in DHHS not being completely truthful) anyway, we agreed. They asked if we could come to DHHS and pick her up. I said of course, and as soon as DW got home, we headed over to the DHHS office. We left there about an hour or so later with beautiful redheaded little girl who was going to come and live with us, and it was just 2 weeks before Christmas 2007. We had shopping to do!
As always, DHHS was working towards reunification with her family. We had regular visits with her parents and her siblings, and about 9 months later we were really getting close to the family being all back together again. We knew when that day came it would be difficult for us, but we also knew that was what was best for (S).
It was now Christmas of 2008 and overnight visits with the 2 oldest siblings were about to begin. Overnight visits with (S) would begin the middle of January. It was getting close. That is when I started writing this blog. Wondering how we were going to deal with; this little girl going home, this little girl no longer being a part of our family, this little girl no longer sharing her love with us.......
Then, everything with her family fell apart. We are not sure of all the particulars, but in an instant, reunification came to an end and termination of parental rights began. Then we were faced with what were we going to do. Once termination of parental rights was granted, (S) would become a child looking for a forever family. The case worker asked us if we were interested. The answer of course was no. Heck, we still weren't sure we wanted to do foster care. Adoption was never in our plans. We went to court and watched the TPR proceedings and rapidly saw why these proceedings were happening. BioDad had no control over himself and was obviously a dangerous man. BioMom could not be without BioDad.
We started thinking about adoption. We spoke with our family memebers, and we even sought out a therapist so that we could figure out what we wanted. I will never forget what my sister in law from Georgia said to us one day.
"I don't know why y'all don't know whether or not you are going to adopt,
everyone else does!"
She was right. We made the decision that we would adopt (S). I wish it was that easy. Since that time, there have been two court cases. A TPR has been granted and an appeal has been made. The court still hasn't decided on the appeal. DHHS has little doubt in their mind that the appeal wil be denied and once that happens we can proceed with the paperwork to adopt, however no one has any idea how long it will take for the court/judges to make a decision. We have gone through the process to be approved as a "foster to adopt" family, and have even had our foster license renewed.
That is where we find ourselves today. (S) has no idea what is happening. As far as she is concerned, we are her family. She will always be with us, and there is no question about that. As I said earlier, she has spent more than half her life with us, and has been with us since shortly after her second birthday. She has only seen her bio parents once in the last 14 months. She hasn't seen her siblings in 8 months. She has asked about her siblings, but has not asked her bio parents.
We so much want this to be over for her. For us. We want to know that she will be with us and we will be her forever family. We can't wait. So anyway, that is where we are at. That is a quick (well maybe not so quick)look back at where we are, where we have been, and where we hope to go.
Eventually, maybe we will decide whether or not we want to do foster care. :)
I write this post to answer some questions that have been asked of me lately. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I will be more than happy to answer them as I can in this forum. Thanks for your interest, and thanks to all for your encouragement along the way.
*
DW was here visiting with me for the weekend while (A) was taking care of (S) at home. I enjoyed our time alone together, but alas it did have to come to an end. After DW left I got to thinking about how things had changed over the last 2 1/2 years. I think what caused this was the realization this wekeend that (S) has spent more of her life with DW and I then with her biological family.
She spent 2 yrs and 60 days with her biological family. As of today, March 14, she has been with DW and I for 2 years and 82 days.
For those of you who have never read this blog, or don't know the whole story here is a look back at how we got to where we are today.
This was never what we had planned on. We got involved in Foster care because our 3 biological children had moved on and out of the house and were living their own life. We were alone in our home which certainly had more room than we needed and it was crying out for more life. We were watching tv one night and I saw an ad for foster care. I suggested to DW that we ought to look into it. She was not interested.
A couple of days later I got the information on what was required to get involved in foster care. I gave it to DW and asked her to make a call to find out about when the next informational meeting was. She wasn't interested, but I told her we didn't have to do foster care, we could check into it and this didn't commit us to anything.
So we went to the intial meeting and got the application and found out about the training we needed to take. Again, DW was not really interested. Again, I told her we never had to do foster care, but we could fill out the application and going to a class would be fun. We could go out to dinner each class night and then go to class and it would give us something to do other than to sit around the house.
She agreed to take the classes. After the classes, we continued to fill out the application. We still knew that we never had to complete the process to get our license. We never had to do foster care if we didn't want to and once the classes were over that could be the end of it.
We passed the class and then we continued with the licensing process. It was now 6 months since that first conversation and we still didn't have a license, but were a lot closer than we had been. The fire marshall had been to the house, the water from our well had been tested, and we had all kinds of people out to the house to do the required home studies. The only thing left was the fingerprints.
Mine were fine.
DW for some reason does not have much in the way of finger prints. They just couldn't get hers to the point where there was enough definition to get into the computer. We finally had to have a police oifficer attest to the fact that these were the best finger prints he could get. Our background checks were fine, but we still didn't have approval for the finger prints.
So we are waiting for that and still haven't decided if this was something we really wanted to do. Then I came home from work one day and there was a message on the machine to call a woman at DHHS. I figured it had to do with DWs fingerprints, so I called the woman and she advised me they were looking for a family to place child(ren) with. I said "but we don't have a license yet." She said that her supervisor had told her we were close enough and since they really needed people they would be happy for us to do it.
I asked what they were looking for and she said they had a family with 5 children. 2 were already placed and they had 2 boys and a girl to place. They either wanted to place all three together, or keep the boys together and then find a place for the girl. Since we had never done this before and had never given it any thought other than we would only do 1 at a time, I told her that we might be interested in the one girl, but I would have to call DW to see if it was ok. She asked me to call her back as soon as possible. She gave me some preliminary information. I called DW.
I told her that DHHS had called about a placement. She said "but we don't have a license yet" (sound familiar?) . Anyway I told her what I had been told and then told her that they were interested in placing a 2 year old girl. When DW heard that, she was all excited. I knew the answer would be yes as long as everything else was within the parameters we had discussed.
I called DHHS back and asked how long a placement they anticipated this would be as we were going away in a couple of months. They said it probably wouldn't last that long and there was another family that might be interested in taking all 5. (This was my first lesson in DHHS not being completely truthful) anyway, we agreed. They asked if we could come to DHHS and pick her up. I said of course, and as soon as DW got home, we headed over to the DHHS office. We left there about an hour or so later with beautiful redheaded little girl who was going to come and live with us, and it was just 2 weeks before Christmas 2007. We had shopping to do!
As always, DHHS was working towards reunification with her family. We had regular visits with her parents and her siblings, and about 9 months later we were really getting close to the family being all back together again. We knew when that day came it would be difficult for us, but we also knew that was what was best for (S).
It was now Christmas of 2008 and overnight visits with the 2 oldest siblings were about to begin. Overnight visits with (S) would begin the middle of January. It was getting close. That is when I started writing this blog. Wondering how we were going to deal with; this little girl going home, this little girl no longer being a part of our family, this little girl no longer sharing her love with us.......
Then, everything with her family fell apart. We are not sure of all the particulars, but in an instant, reunification came to an end and termination of parental rights began. Then we were faced with what were we going to do. Once termination of parental rights was granted, (S) would become a child looking for a forever family. The case worker asked us if we were interested. The answer of course was no. Heck, we still weren't sure we wanted to do foster care. Adoption was never in our plans. We went to court and watched the TPR proceedings and rapidly saw why these proceedings were happening. BioDad had no control over himself and was obviously a dangerous man. BioMom could not be without BioDad.
We started thinking about adoption. We spoke with our family memebers, and we even sought out a therapist so that we could figure out what we wanted. I will never forget what my sister in law from Georgia said to us one day.
"I don't know why y'all don't know whether or not you are going to adopt,
everyone else does!"
She was right. We made the decision that we would adopt (S). I wish it was that easy. Since that time, there have been two court cases. A TPR has been granted and an appeal has been made. The court still hasn't decided on the appeal. DHHS has little doubt in their mind that the appeal wil be denied and once that happens we can proceed with the paperwork to adopt, however no one has any idea how long it will take for the court/judges to make a decision. We have gone through the process to be approved as a "foster to adopt" family, and have even had our foster license renewed.
That is where we find ourselves today. (S) has no idea what is happening. As far as she is concerned, we are her family. She will always be with us, and there is no question about that. As I said earlier, she has spent more than half her life with us, and has been with us since shortly after her second birthday. She has only seen her bio parents once in the last 14 months. She hasn't seen her siblings in 8 months. She has asked about her siblings, but has not asked her bio parents.
We so much want this to be over for her. For us. We want to know that she will be with us and we will be her forever family. We can't wait. So anyway, that is where we are at. That is a quick (well maybe not so quick)look back at where we are, where we have been, and where we hope to go.
Eventually, maybe we will decide whether or not we want to do foster care. :)
I write this post to answer some questions that have been asked of me lately. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I will be more than happy to answer them as I can in this forum. Thanks for your interest, and thanks to all for your encouragement along the way.
*
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Too Much Time Away From Home
*
I have been away from home every week since December. It really stinks. I do get to spend time almost all weekends with (S) and DW, and they are nice. (S) hasn't talked to me much on the phone at all. She would take the phone from DW and say "love you, bye" and she's gone before I could say a word. The best thing about the time I spend with (S) now, is that it is all quality time. We have such a good time together.
The last two nights she has actually talked to me and that is so much better. I really do miss her a lot and I fell much more connected when she talks to me and tells me what is going on. I was going to be going back home on April 10, but now I have been extended on this duty until May 8. It may be extended again until June 5th, but I don't know yet.
Of course we will be on vacation next month to Florida. My mother (Nanny) can't wait to show (S) off to all of her friends. Nanny and Papa (my father) live in a retirement community. It is a nice community and everyone that lives there is over 55. (my god! I will be over 55 next month~!!!....but I can't live in a retirement community because we have (S) and that is far better than a retirement community.) But I digress, they have a nice pool there where all the ladies hang out on the nice days. I think the very first chance Nanny has she will be dragging (S) down to the pool.
(S) also wants to spend time at the beach. She asked me if we could build sand castles. I said it would be a little difficult to bring a pail and shovel with us. When I told Nanny about this, she immediately responded with: "If she wants a pail and shovel we will get her one!"
As you can see, (S) is definitely a part of our family. No one in the family considers her as a "foster" sister, cousin, daughter, or granddaughter. I just can't wait until the state recognizes us that way. That will be a very wonderful day and it can't come soon enough for me or DW. Not having a clue as to when it MAY come is even more difficult. It has been almost 3 months since the court has had this case to render a decision so that we can move on with adoption. I am frustrated and anxious but I told myself I wouldn't get angry until the end of April if we hadn't heard anything.
Of course it won't do any good...but I can try, can't I?
*
I have been away from home every week since December. It really stinks. I do get to spend time almost all weekends with (S) and DW, and they are nice. (S) hasn't talked to me much on the phone at all. She would take the phone from DW and say "love you, bye" and she's gone before I could say a word. The best thing about the time I spend with (S) now, is that it is all quality time. We have such a good time together.
The last two nights she has actually talked to me and that is so much better. I really do miss her a lot and I fell much more connected when she talks to me and tells me what is going on. I was going to be going back home on April 10, but now I have been extended on this duty until May 8. It may be extended again until June 5th, but I don't know yet.
Of course we will be on vacation next month to Florida. My mother (Nanny) can't wait to show (S) off to all of her friends. Nanny and Papa (my father) live in a retirement community. It is a nice community and everyone that lives there is over 55. (my god! I will be over 55 next month~!!!....but I can't live in a retirement community because we have (S) and that is far better than a retirement community.) But I digress, they have a nice pool there where all the ladies hang out on the nice days. I think the very first chance Nanny has she will be dragging (S) down to the pool.
(S) also wants to spend time at the beach. She asked me if we could build sand castles. I said it would be a little difficult to bring a pail and shovel with us. When I told Nanny about this, she immediately responded with: "If she wants a pail and shovel we will get her one!"
As you can see, (S) is definitely a part of our family. No one in the family considers her as a "foster" sister, cousin, daughter, or granddaughter. I just can't wait until the state recognizes us that way. That will be a very wonderful day and it can't come soon enough for me or DW. Not having a clue as to when it MAY come is even more difficult. It has been almost 3 months since the court has had this case to render a decision so that we can move on with adoption. I am frustrated and anxious but I told myself I wouldn't get angry until the end of April if we hadn't heard anything.
Of course it won't do any good...but I can try, can't I?
*
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