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I can't believe it has been so long since I wrote here. I haven't dropped out of the world, though I am still working out of state and don't get home as often as I like. I am home this weekend though.
It is great to be home this weekend. I have been able to play with (S) a lot. We had been told that her biological mom and dad are back in town and to keep an eye out. We know where they are living so when we are in that area, we certainly keep our eyes open and....
This morning I saw them. They were walking down the street and bio-dad was pushing a bicycle. It is important to us to know this because the people are DHS have some reason to believe they may try to snatch the children and go. That's all I need....one more thing to worry about.
We have no idea where the appeal is. Apparently these things are not addressed as quickly as we would like. Not that we can relax once all is done and (S) is adopted, but at least we can feel comfortable knowing that she is ours and we will have some legal standing if anything happens.
The bad part is that they know our name, and they know where we live. They have not been getting any services and since (S) hasn't seen them but once in the last 14 months we have no idea what their frame of mind is. If we were seeing them on occasion we might be able to make some kind of an assessment. Or maybe DHS could if they were seeing them. I dont know what either of them are doing to survive.
Oh, did I mention that they live about a 1/2 mile away from where (S) is going to pre-school. Just something else for us to worry about. We have given the school pictures so they have an idea what they look like. they also know that if they go for a walk down the street, (S) can not be holding the hand of another child, but has to be held onto by an adult. They have no idea she is there, but you never know when they might see her. When I saw them today they were maybe 1000 feet from the school.
We do everything we can to make sure that (S) is safe, but how can you know if you are doing everything you can do? She will start kindergarten at a different school in a different town, but like I said, they know where we live. Keeping one eye out everytime we drop (S) off or pick her up at school is now SOP. Thagt is the only time she is out of our sight, and we never let her more than a few feet away from us.
At somepoint (S) is going to want to know why we are so paranoid about her safety, but until she is, we will just continue to maintain our paranoia. It is an absolute necessity given the circumstances.
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Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Appointment, Visit, Disney
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(S) had an appointment with the therapist yesterday. We are still trying to concentrate on the sleeping issue and getting her to stay an entire night in her own room. I guess we are going to start moving her a foot at a time from where she is sleeping closer to her room. I don't know if we are betting she doesn't notice, or thinking she will notice and it just won't bother her anymore. As long as it works, I really don't care. We are now going to see the therapist every other week instead of every week.
(S)s case worker came by yesterday for her monthly visit. I am still out of state so I didn't get to talk with her, but DW did. When asked about the case and if anyone knew what was happening, the answer, of course, was that they don't know anything. She said she had talked with the DA and he had no idea where it was. The CW also added that she had one case that had taken a year. We don't know if that was start of TPR proceedings to end of appeal, or just the appeal process. If it was just the appeal process, it is time to scream with frustration. If it was from start to finsih, then it shouldn't be long before we scream with excitement. The start of the TPR process was just about this time last year. We will keep our fingers crossed.
We also have all the permissions in place to take (S) to Disney World. We have been talking it up with her and making sure she knows that there are many characters there. She says she is fine with that. I guess Chuck E Cheese is more of a rat while Mickey of course is a mouse. I don't know, but she likes Mickey. In any event, we have made our plane reservations and also have made reservations for:
Bibiddi Bobiddi Boutiue where she will get all dolled up like a Princess. (Hair, Nails, Makeup)
After the boutique, we are having dinner with Cinderella in the castle.
We are also going to have lunch one day with Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore.
The above are all at the Magic Kingdom.
We have reservations for Breakfast with Donald Duck in Animal Kingdom
We are still deciding what, if any, character meal we will do in Epcot.
We are only 6 weeks away from leaving for Florida, so we are getting REAL excited!!! Can't wait. If anyone has any ideas, suggestions, things not to miss etc, please let us know.
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(S) had an appointment with the therapist yesterday. We are still trying to concentrate on the sleeping issue and getting her to stay an entire night in her own room. I guess we are going to start moving her a foot at a time from where she is sleeping closer to her room. I don't know if we are betting she doesn't notice, or thinking she will notice and it just won't bother her anymore. As long as it works, I really don't care. We are now going to see the therapist every other week instead of every week.
(S)s case worker came by yesterday for her monthly visit. I am still out of state so I didn't get to talk with her, but DW did. When asked about the case and if anyone knew what was happening, the answer, of course, was that they don't know anything. She said she had talked with the DA and he had no idea where it was. The CW also added that she had one case that had taken a year. We don't know if that was start of TPR proceedings to end of appeal, or just the appeal process. If it was just the appeal process, it is time to scream with frustration. If it was from start to finsih, then it shouldn't be long before we scream with excitement. The start of the TPR process was just about this time last year. We will keep our fingers crossed.
We also have all the permissions in place to take (S) to Disney World. We have been talking it up with her and making sure she knows that there are many characters there. She says she is fine with that. I guess Chuck E Cheese is more of a rat while Mickey of course is a mouse. I don't know, but she likes Mickey. In any event, we have made our plane reservations and also have made reservations for:
Bibiddi Bobiddi Boutiue where she will get all dolled up like a Princess. (Hair, Nails, Makeup)
After the boutique, we are having dinner with Cinderella in the castle.
We are also going to have lunch one day with Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore.
The above are all at the Magic Kingdom.
We have reservations for Breakfast with Donald Duck in Animal Kingdom
We are still deciding what, if any, character meal we will do in Epcot.
We are only 6 weeks away from leaving for Florida, so we are getting REAL excited!!! Can't wait. If anyone has any ideas, suggestions, things not to miss etc, please let us know.
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Thursday, February 18, 2010
I Remain Worried
Foster parents are needed. and there is an article from Cleveland today that shows why. There are way too many children going back to biological parents before they should. This article talks about a number of different cases.
Unfortunately, while it is Departments of Children Services around the country that are lamenting the lack of foster parents available, they are the very ones who don't listen to what foster parents have to say.
The main reason for this article is the murder of a child returned to the biological parent AFTER the foster parents adamently opposed the reunion of this family. They felt the mother was not yet in a position to care for children.
Case Workers: You can't have it both ways!
If you want foster parents, you have to believe in what you are told. In most cases you are overworked and the foster parents have a much better idea of what is happening with the children then you do. I know you don't like to admit this, but admitting you have a problem is the first step to resolving your issues.
So.........(S)s bio-parents are back in town. They have not made any attempt to contact DHHS or their children and apparently don't care to find out how they are doing, but the court still has not decided on the appeal of the TPR. Put that together with the attached article, and you can understand why I will remain worried until I hear that the appeal has been denied. At this point, any other outcome is unacceptable.
http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2010/02/county_officials_defend_decisi.html
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Unfortunately, while it is Departments of Children Services around the country that are lamenting the lack of foster parents available, they are the very ones who don't listen to what foster parents have to say.
The main reason for this article is the murder of a child returned to the biological parent AFTER the foster parents adamently opposed the reunion of this family. They felt the mother was not yet in a position to care for children.
Case Workers: You can't have it both ways!
If you want foster parents, you have to believe in what you are told. In most cases you are overworked and the foster parents have a much better idea of what is happening with the children then you do. I know you don't like to admit this, but admitting you have a problem is the first step to resolving your issues.
So.........(S)s bio-parents are back in town. They have not made any attempt to contact DHHS or their children and apparently don't care to find out how they are doing, but the court still has not decided on the appeal of the TPR. Put that together with the attached article, and you can understand why I will remain worried until I hear that the appeal has been denied. At this point, any other outcome is unacceptable.
http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2010/02/county_officials_defend_decisi.html
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Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Missing my Girls
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I miss DW and (S). They came down last Thursday and stayed until Monday and will be back again on Friday until Tuesday, but I still miss them. Last weekend they were each sick a day so we didn't exactly have a great time other than the horses and Chuck E's.
This weekend we are planning a trip to Glow Bowling, and of course I will be taking my two girls out for dinner on Sunday for Valentine's Day. Mostly, I just enjoy spending time with them. It really doesn't matter what we do.
While some people have recommended that we delay the Disney trip another year, we have decided a different course of action. We are going to do our best to prepare (S) for the trip. Tell her everything we can. Show her pictures from a past trip there and try our best to assure her that this is fun and nothing to be afraid of.
So I plan on talking about and doing more planning for our trip. Exactly when, where and how. We are also going to visit Nanny, Papa, and Grandpa who all live in Florida. We don't get to see them much, so any opportunity is a good one. We also have another trip to talk about, but I haven't said anything to DW yet. This blog entry will kind of be a test to see how often she checks the blog and calls to find out about this other trip. I am not sure we can do it, but I am not even going to try if she isn't interested.
Of course, I am still planning our regular February trip that we have missed the last two years for February 2011. That will be a trip that we certainly hope will be with (S) as our adopted daughter, not our foster daughter. A trip we won't need to get approval for from anyone else.
Anyway, it will be nice to see them both this weekend. We will have lots of fun together, and I hope no one gets sick. Can't wait to see you both sweetie!
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I miss DW and (S). They came down last Thursday and stayed until Monday and will be back again on Friday until Tuesday, but I still miss them. Last weekend they were each sick a day so we didn't exactly have a great time other than the horses and Chuck E's.
This weekend we are planning a trip to Glow Bowling, and of course I will be taking my two girls out for dinner on Sunday for Valentine's Day. Mostly, I just enjoy spending time with them. It really doesn't matter what we do.
While some people have recommended that we delay the Disney trip another year, we have decided a different course of action. We are going to do our best to prepare (S) for the trip. Tell her everything we can. Show her pictures from a past trip there and try our best to assure her that this is fun and nothing to be afraid of.
So I plan on talking about and doing more planning for our trip. Exactly when, where and how. We are also going to visit Nanny, Papa, and Grandpa who all live in Florida. We don't get to see them much, so any opportunity is a good one. We also have another trip to talk about, but I haven't said anything to DW yet. This blog entry will kind of be a test to see how often she checks the blog and calls to find out about this other trip. I am not sure we can do it, but I am not even going to try if she isn't interested.
Of course, I am still planning our regular February trip that we have missed the last two years for February 2011. That will be a trip that we certainly hope will be with (S) as our adopted daughter, not our foster daughter. A trip we won't need to get approval for from anyone else.
Anyway, it will be nice to see them both this weekend. We will have lots of fun together, and I hope no one gets sick. Can't wait to see you both sweetie!
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Sunday, February 7, 2010
Horses and Costumes
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I think we have a problem.
We have been planning a trip to Disney in april. Yesterday we did two things that are causing us to rethink this trip.
We went to the Budweiser brewery where you can have your picture taken with one of the worlds famous clydesdale horses. When we got close to the horse, (S) wanted nothing to do with it. I had to pick her up and then hold on tight or she would have crawled out of my arms. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with the animal. Granted, theya re very large horses, but they are also very gentle.
Later on yesterday we went to Chuck E Cheese's to have pizza and play games and go on some of the little kids rides there. (S) had a blast......except when she saw Chuck E Cheese. It was just a guy in a costume (or maybe a gal) but she didn't want to go anywhere near him. When I tried to get her to go to the other end of the games, she refused to go. Somehow she felt that Chuck E was scary and he went after little children and took them away. I have no idea where she got this idea from. No matter how hard we tried, she refused to believe that Chuck E would not do her any harm. So now what do we do?
She is 4 1/2 years old. Do we forget our trip to Disney, or keep working on her and hope she gets over this fear......This past Christmas she screamed bloody murder when she saw someone dressed up as the Grinch. I don't know where this comes from, but it is real to (S) and that is all that matters I guess.
Any ideas?
I think we have a problem.
We have been planning a trip to Disney in april. Yesterday we did two things that are causing us to rethink this trip.
We went to the Budweiser brewery where you can have your picture taken with one of the worlds famous clydesdale horses. When we got close to the horse, (S) wanted nothing to do with it. I had to pick her up and then hold on tight or she would have crawled out of my arms. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with the animal. Granted, theya re very large horses, but they are also very gentle.
Later on yesterday we went to Chuck E Cheese's to have pizza and play games and go on some of the little kids rides there. (S) had a blast......except when she saw Chuck E Cheese. It was just a guy in a costume (or maybe a gal) but she didn't want to go anywhere near him. When I tried to get her to go to the other end of the games, she refused to go. Somehow she felt that Chuck E was scary and he went after little children and took them away. I have no idea where she got this idea from. No matter how hard we tried, she refused to believe that Chuck E would not do her any harm. So now what do we do?
She is 4 1/2 years old. Do we forget our trip to Disney, or keep working on her and hope she gets over this fear......This past Christmas she screamed bloody murder when she saw someone dressed up as the Grinch. I don't know where this comes from, but it is real to (S) and that is all that matters I guess.
Any ideas?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Update
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I am back in New Hampshire. I really hate leaving DW and (S), but in the long run it will be the best thing for all of us. It is just difficult to leave and come here alone. I really do miss them while I am here.
Anyway, we have completed all our training, signed all our forms, and DW will bring them to the licensing worker tomorrow. We just have to wait for our new water test. The first one had a minor problem and we are hoping we have it corrected. DW will send another sample tomorrow afternoon. Our license runs out soon, so it is important that we get it reissued.
Yesterday we got a 1099 tax form in the mail from the state for the money they send for us to foster (S). It included the medical bills they paid for her as well. The form said we also had to pay social security and medicare on this amount, and it looked like they were considering it income. We have never received one of these before, and I did not think it was taxable income. I am at a loss on this one. DW is going to check things out tomorrow with the DHHS people, but right now it is not seeming right.
TPR Appeal is still in process. We have no idea where it is, and there is no way to find out. When the court makes a decision and sends it back, we will find out. Waiting is a real pain. We know the rest of the process can move relatively quick if we keep on people to move it along, but we have to get through this step first.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to (S) and DW coming to be with me from Thursday through Monday. The plan includes a trip to Check E Cheese's and a photograph taken with the famous Budweiser Clydesdales. We have plenty of other time to use up, but as yet, have not made any real plans. Of course there is the big game on Sunday. Maybe we will just have our very own party here in my suite.
Well, there is certiainly more to follow, and if anyone has any ideas about this 1099, please pass them along. It is really wierd....
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I am back in New Hampshire. I really hate leaving DW and (S), but in the long run it will be the best thing for all of us. It is just difficult to leave and come here alone. I really do miss them while I am here.
Anyway, we have completed all our training, signed all our forms, and DW will bring them to the licensing worker tomorrow. We just have to wait for our new water test. The first one had a minor problem and we are hoping we have it corrected. DW will send another sample tomorrow afternoon. Our license runs out soon, so it is important that we get it reissued.
Yesterday we got a 1099 tax form in the mail from the state for the money they send for us to foster (S). It included the medical bills they paid for her as well. The form said we also had to pay social security and medicare on this amount, and it looked like they were considering it income. We have never received one of these before, and I did not think it was taxable income. I am at a loss on this one. DW is going to check things out tomorrow with the DHHS people, but right now it is not seeming right.
TPR Appeal is still in process. We have no idea where it is, and there is no way to find out. When the court makes a decision and sends it back, we will find out. Waiting is a real pain. We know the rest of the process can move relatively quick if we keep on people to move it along, but we have to get through this step first.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to (S) and DW coming to be with me from Thursday through Monday. The plan includes a trip to Check E Cheese's and a photograph taken with the famous Budweiser Clydesdales. We have plenty of other time to use up, but as yet, have not made any real plans. Of course there is the big game on Sunday. Maybe we will just have our very own party here in my suite.
Well, there is certiainly more to follow, and if anyone has any ideas about this 1099, please pass them along. It is really wierd....
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010
"Cool" Uncle
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As if I hadn't had enough travelling in my life with working 4 hours from home, I had to drive to New Jersey yesterday and then back today.
My uncle passed away and I had to go to the funeral. That didn't sound right. I don't mean that "had to" as in "I didn't want to go but someone made me". I meant "had to" in that he was such a wonderful person and fantastic Uncle, there was no way I wasn't going to be there.
He was the "cool" uncle partly because he was the closest to my age, being only 18 years older than me. He was also cool in that he never talked to me like I was a child or treated me like a child. He was the kind of guy who treated everyone with equal respect. It didn't matter if you were a relative, a friend, or someone on the street. It didn't matter if you were a millionaire or a pauper, a lawyer or street sweeper. He was just that kind of a guy.
While I never got to spend a whole lot of time with him, when I did spend time with him, he always taught me something. I don't think he knew that. I don't even think he tried to do that, but the way he acted was a lesson in itself. He was the kind of guy you wanted to be like. It was just the way he was.
Whenever we talked, we had to discuss baseball. He was a lifelong Yankee fan, and I have been a lifelong Red Sox fan. Usually that is like oil and water, but in our case it was cool too and we had fun with it. It had been a dry spell for the Yankees for a while, and while I will never admit to anyone who doesn't read this blog, I am glad he got to see them win the World Series one more time.
I will miss him.
A lot of people get to have a "cool" aunt or uncle. When (A) was born her uncle was only 6 years old. He is a cool uncle. When (K) has her baby ....my grandchild....is going to have a "cool" aunt. It is going to be (S). That's right, she will be an aunt this summer. Is that fantastic or what! I know she will be a "cool" aunt.
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As if I hadn't had enough travelling in my life with working 4 hours from home, I had to drive to New Jersey yesterday and then back today.
My uncle passed away and I had to go to the funeral. That didn't sound right. I don't mean that "had to" as in "I didn't want to go but someone made me". I meant "had to" in that he was such a wonderful person and fantastic Uncle, there was no way I wasn't going to be there.
He was the "cool" uncle partly because he was the closest to my age, being only 18 years older than me. He was also cool in that he never talked to me like I was a child or treated me like a child. He was the kind of guy who treated everyone with equal respect. It didn't matter if you were a relative, a friend, or someone on the street. It didn't matter if you were a millionaire or a pauper, a lawyer or street sweeper. He was just that kind of a guy.
While I never got to spend a whole lot of time with him, when I did spend time with him, he always taught me something. I don't think he knew that. I don't even think he tried to do that, but the way he acted was a lesson in itself. He was the kind of guy you wanted to be like. It was just the way he was.
Whenever we talked, we had to discuss baseball. He was a lifelong Yankee fan, and I have been a lifelong Red Sox fan. Usually that is like oil and water, but in our case it was cool too and we had fun with it. It had been a dry spell for the Yankees for a while, and while I will never admit to anyone who doesn't read this blog, I am glad he got to see them win the World Series one more time.
I will miss him.
A lot of people get to have a "cool" aunt or uncle. When (A) was born her uncle was only 6 years old. He is a cool uncle. When (K) has her baby ....my grandchild....is going to have a "cool" aunt. It is going to be (S). That's right, she will be an aunt this summer. Is that fantastic or what! I know she will be a "cool" aunt.
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