So we had an appointment that (S) was supposed to go to with her mother today. I had called and left a message for the case worker as I didn't know if this had also been cancelled. She left us a message back that she didn't think it was a good idea to have this therapy appointment.
This morning she calls to make sure we got the message and gives us no more information other than we are not bringing (S) to her weekly regular visit tomorrow. Right after that Bio-mom calls. She sounds devestated that she is not going to be able to see her little girl today. She says that they "aint done nothing wrong" and that Bio-Dads attorney is going to file contempt charges against the case worker.
Then there is the return call to the therapist that was supposed to see (S) and her mom today to make sure she knew we wouldn't be there. We told her what we knew, but she wasn't happy. She felt that just because there may have been some setback, that was no reason to discontinue or delay therapy and that if anything there should be more therapy if needed.
So all in all what did we find out today?..............................Nothing
What are we supposed to do now?.......................................Nothing
What are they telling us?......................................................Nothing
I am really looking forward to a family meeting next Friday. If things aren't settled by then I would hope there are at least some answers then. (S) was looking forward to seeing mom today and I know she was disappointed that it didn't happen. When she gets disappointed, so do we. We really want her to be happy and sometimes it seems like everything is working against her. On the bright side, she is watching Wow Wow Wubzy and loves it! :)
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
REUNIFICATION ON HOLD
(S) visited with her mom last Saturday, Monday and yesterday. Things seemed to be going well. Then this morning her case worker calls and says "PLEASE Tell me (S) is with you?!
Well she was at day care, but that was ok. We were then told that all visits were now on hold. That (S) would not be going to visit tomorrow or Saturday as previously scheduled. Tomorrow there was also a special session with both (S) and her mom and a therapist and that is to be cancelled.
Her case worker said we may have to testify in court, although I am not sure what for. She also asked if we were prepared to be in this for "the long haul" Since she has already been here for 13 months, and we were going to miss her terribly, that was a no brainer.
Now, am I a bad person for having some good feelings about this. Ultimately what is best is for the family to be together. For some reason the case worker has concerns about the safety of the children. We certainly want (S) to be safe. ........but safe with us would suit us better. I feel a little guilty about that. This is not supposed to be about me, it is supposed to be about (S). Am I being narcissistic? I hope not.
Our trip may not occur, or we may bring (S) with us. I was prepared (I thought) when we started doing foster care for it would be an up when we got a foster child and most likely a down when they left. This is far from a set of stairs though. This is more like being on Kingda Ka at Six Flags in New Jersey, and I hate roller coasters.
There is a family meeting next week, and I am sure we will learn more there if not earlier. Right now we are a little in the dark. Not sure what caused the call we got today. I will keep you all updated on what happens as we move forward.
By the way, (S) and I made snow angels today in the front yard. I hadn't done that in years. It is still a great time, and I think we both had a blast!
Well she was at day care, but that was ok. We were then told that all visits were now on hold. That (S) would not be going to visit tomorrow or Saturday as previously scheduled. Tomorrow there was also a special session with both (S) and her mom and a therapist and that is to be cancelled.
Her case worker said we may have to testify in court, although I am not sure what for. She also asked if we were prepared to be in this for "the long haul" Since she has already been here for 13 months, and we were going to miss her terribly, that was a no brainer.
Now, am I a bad person for having some good feelings about this. Ultimately what is best is for the family to be together. For some reason the case worker has concerns about the safety of the children. We certainly want (S) to be safe. ........but safe with us would suit us better. I feel a little guilty about that. This is not supposed to be about me, it is supposed to be about (S). Am I being narcissistic? I hope not.
Our trip may not occur, or we may bring (S) with us. I was prepared (I thought) when we started doing foster care for it would be an up when we got a foster child and most likely a down when they left. This is far from a set of stairs though. This is more like being on Kingda Ka at Six Flags in New Jersey, and I hate roller coasters.
There is a family meeting next week, and I am sure we will learn more there if not earlier. Right now we are a little in the dark. Not sure what caused the call we got today. I will keep you all updated on what happens as we move forward.
By the way, (S) and I made snow angels today in the front yard. I hadn't done that in years. It is still a great time, and I think we both had a blast!
MISSING FOSTER CHILD FOUND
Jaeda Vanderwall found
Last seen at 4:00 p.m. on Monday January 5th, Jaeda Vanderwall has now been located.
RCMP East St. Paul would like to thank the public and members of the media, Jaeda Vanderwall aka Beaulieu has returned home last night safe and sound.
Contact:Sgt. Davy LeeRCMP
East St. Paul Det.
(204)668-8322
Last seen at 4:00 p.m. on Monday January 5th, Jaeda Vanderwall has now been located.
RCMP East St. Paul would like to thank the public and members of the media, Jaeda Vanderwall aka Beaulieu has returned home last night safe and sound.
Contact:Sgt. Davy LeeRCMP
East St. Paul Det.
(204)668-8322
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
MISSING FOSTER CHILD
RCMP want your help to find an 11-year-old girl who went missing from her foster home in East St. Paul yesterday.
Police say Jaeda Beaulieu, who also goes by the name Jaeda Vanderwall was last seen in the 200 block of Osborne Street at 4 p.m.
Jaeda is described as aboriginal, 5'2" tall, 145 pounds and has long brown straight hair and brown eyes.
She was last seen wearing a black and white plaid coat with a fur collar trim and light blue jeans.
She has friends and family in Winnipeg and is familiar with the North End.
Anyone with information about Jaeda is asked to call the East St. Paul RCMP at 204-668-8322.
Police say Jaeda Beaulieu, who also goes by the name Jaeda Vanderwall was last seen in the 200 block of Osborne Street at 4 p.m.
Jaeda is described as aboriginal, 5'2" tall, 145 pounds and has long brown straight hair and brown eyes.
She was last seen wearing a black and white plaid coat with a fur collar trim and light blue jeans.
She has friends and family in Winnipeg and is familiar with the North End.
Anyone with information about Jaeda is asked to call the East St. Paul RCMP at 204-668-8322.
Read the actual article here:
Monday, January 5, 2009
What is a Persons Real Impact?
"........A person's real impact on this world is not measured by gross income or collegiate degrees. It is instead revealed by the courage of their moral conviction and human lives they touch. I choose to be the latter."
I wish I could take credit for writing those words, but I can't. Those words come from a 17 year old boy in foster care by the name of Alex. His story is really a remarkable one and it is always nice to see good stories about foster care and foster parents and foster children. All too often the news is not good.
I flew to Florida today and had to go through Detroit. I came across the article by Jeff Seidel about this boy and managed to find it on the web. Instead of trying to rewrite a good story, you can and should read the story by Mr Seidel at this link:
http://www.freep.com/article/20090104/FEATURES01/901040318
So yesterday I was sledding with (S) in the front yard, and today I am in Florida wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I just wish I could enjoy it. I am only here for two days on business. It sure is nice though.
Getting back to the original question. What is a persons real impact? What has been my impact? What has been your impact? That, I think is only a question each of us can answer for ourselves. I am going to make that something I will spend more time thinking about. Maybe by focusing on it, I will make a positive impact and leave this world a little better off. Maybe you?
I wish I could take credit for writing those words, but I can't. Those words come from a 17 year old boy in foster care by the name of Alex. His story is really a remarkable one and it is always nice to see good stories about foster care and foster parents and foster children. All too often the news is not good.
I flew to Florida today and had to go through Detroit. I came across the article by Jeff Seidel about this boy and managed to find it on the web. Instead of trying to rewrite a good story, you can and should read the story by Mr Seidel at this link:
http://www.freep.com/article/20090104/FEATURES01/901040318
So yesterday I was sledding with (S) in the front yard, and today I am in Florida wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I just wish I could enjoy it. I am only here for two days on business. It sure is nice though.
Getting back to the original question. What is a persons real impact? What has been my impact? What has been your impact? That, I think is only a question each of us can answer for ourselves. I am going to make that something I will spend more time thinking about. Maybe by focusing on it, I will make a positive impact and leave this world a little better off. Maybe you?
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A Mother's Love
What a weekend this has been. On Friday I spoke with (S) case worker and she said nothing to me about a visitation for (S) with her parents. (S) and I went out and ran some errands and went to "Donalfries" (McDonalds) for lunch. We got home around around 2:30 and there is a message from the caseworker asking if (S) can visit with her family from 1-4. There were also 2 messages from (S) mom wanting to know why she wasn't there.
I called her mom and told her what had happened, and she said that (S) was supposed to be there next week on Monday Wednesday and Friday from 10am to 3pm. Still no word from the caseworker. So Saturday is a normal visitation so we were hopeful that the reunification worker would be there so we could talk with her. Unfortunately she wasn't. My lovely wife called her later in the day to find out what was going on. She confirmed that if it can be worked out that those are correct times for a visit for just (S) with none of her siblings. She is the youngest and probably has no memory of living with mom and dad so they want her to spend a lot of time alone with mom before she goes back to live with them.
My head wants to be as helpful as possible, but I think my heart is saying "if they want something let them take care of it. It is not your responsibility." The bottom line is my heart doesn't want her to leave even though I know it is best for her. I have no doubt that we can provide more materially for (S), but at the end of the day, there is no love like a mother's love and (S) needs to have that if at all possible. I just can't get away from the thought of her not being here. We are trying to plan a long road trip for after she is gone to kind of keep our mind off things, but I don't know if that will work.
Today I took (S) sledding in the front yard. We both had a blast, but we couldn't do it very long because the wind chills were below zero. I have to be in Florida from Monday through Wednesday so I promised her when I got back we would sled some more.
I just can't get my mind off her leaving. What do all of you good people out there recommend for a "tourist" in Ohio, Indianna, Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, New York, Pennsylvania, Missouri, and Illinois. That is where we are planning to go on our "planning" roadtrip. We hope it becomes a reality, and we hope it can be fun and get our minds off (S) but I know it won't work for long periods, but maybe a little at a time. We have to have something to do.
We plan on giving the case worker our cell phone number in case things don't work out and (S) needs to come back. I hate to have those thoughts, but I just can't help it. Like I said before, my head wants this to work for (S) and my heart wants to be selfish and keep her for ourselves.
Well, I am going to go play with (S) before she goes to bed. Everyone have a nice day.
I called her mom and told her what had happened, and she said that (S) was supposed to be there next week on Monday Wednesday and Friday from 10am to 3pm. Still no word from the caseworker. So Saturday is a normal visitation so we were hopeful that the reunification worker would be there so we could talk with her. Unfortunately she wasn't. My lovely wife called her later in the day to find out what was going on. She confirmed that if it can be worked out that those are correct times for a visit for just (S) with none of her siblings. She is the youngest and probably has no memory of living with mom and dad so they want her to spend a lot of time alone with mom before she goes back to live with them.
My head wants to be as helpful as possible, but I think my heart is saying "if they want something let them take care of it. It is not your responsibility." The bottom line is my heart doesn't want her to leave even though I know it is best for her. I have no doubt that we can provide more materially for (S), but at the end of the day, there is no love like a mother's love and (S) needs to have that if at all possible. I just can't get away from the thought of her not being here. We are trying to plan a long road trip for after she is gone to kind of keep our mind off things, but I don't know if that will work.
Today I took (S) sledding in the front yard. We both had a blast, but we couldn't do it very long because the wind chills were below zero. I have to be in Florida from Monday through Wednesday so I promised her when I got back we would sled some more.
I just can't get my mind off her leaving. What do all of you good people out there recommend for a "tourist" in Ohio, Indianna, Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, New York, Pennsylvania, Missouri, and Illinois. That is where we are planning to go on our "planning" roadtrip. We hope it becomes a reality, and we hope it can be fun and get our minds off (S) but I know it won't work for long periods, but maybe a little at a time. We have to have something to do.
We plan on giving the case worker our cell phone number in case things don't work out and (S) needs to come back. I hate to have those thoughts, but I just can't help it. Like I said before, my head wants this to work for (S) and my heart wants to be selfish and keep her for ourselves.
Well, I am going to go play with (S) before she goes to bed. Everyone have a nice day.
Friday, January 2, 2009
New Year
Yes, I know, usually these posts are done either New Years Eve or New Years
Day. Well I got sidetracked on New Years Eve by an article I read, and yesterday was sheer MADNESS!!! (S) was absolutely wild. We were asked to take her to the airport to say goodbye to a relative that was going away and that went ok, but afterwards she was wild. A little girl from up the street came to play with her and that helped, but then we had two of them being wild (in other words acting like little girls.)
As I start the New Year, I can't help but look back over last year and smile. (S) had only been with us 2 weeks on New Years last year and we had no idea what was going to happen. Since she was our first and we didn't even have our license yet, it was all very overwhelming. Over the year though we have learned a lot and so has (S). Considering she was only 2 and spoke very few words and now you can't get her to be quiet, she has certainly come a long way.
We would like to take some credit for it, but quite frankly, she is really smart. She watches every move we make and listens to everything we say and remembers as well as understands everything. That is good, but it is also bad.
I am in hopes we learn as much over the next year. We know that (S) is on track to be leaving us soon to go back to live with mom and dad, and we will learn how we will deal with that. We have certainly grown to love her as we love our own children and when she leaves, we will certainly worry about her. We live in a rather small community and are hopeful her family stays in the area so we might see her once in a while, but who knows.
We have taken some classes over the last year and they have been helpful, but it seems that no matter what the topic is, it is always a little different than what we are dealing with. Over this next year we need to learn more to make sure whatever child finds their way to our house next, we kn0w even more to help them.
I have certainly found all the blogs listed on the side of the page helpful. I knew there were a lot of great people out there doing foster care, but I didn't know how to use that resource. Now that I do, I expect to learn a lot that way. And I thank all of you who have offered your advice and opinions.
The New Year wil certainly bring on some challenges but my lovely wife and I have rang in 37 New Years together and every year is a little differnet and an education. 2008 may have been the most educational and I see 2009 as surpassing it. Foster parenting has certianly opened our eyes. We know they will open even wider this year.......and we can't wait!
We wish all of you a Happy Healthy and Blessed New Year
Day. Well I got sidetracked on New Years Eve by an article I read, and yesterday was sheer MADNESS!!! (S) was absolutely wild. We were asked to take her to the airport to say goodbye to a relative that was going away and that went ok, but afterwards she was wild. A little girl from up the street came to play with her and that helped, but then we had two of them being wild (in other words acting like little girls.)
As I start the New Year, I can't help but look back over last year and smile. (S) had only been with us 2 weeks on New Years last year and we had no idea what was going to happen. Since she was our first and we didn't even have our license yet, it was all very overwhelming. Over the year though we have learned a lot and so has (S). Considering she was only 2 and spoke very few words and now you can't get her to be quiet, she has certainly come a long way.
We would like to take some credit for it, but quite frankly, she is really smart. She watches every move we make and listens to everything we say and remembers as well as understands everything. That is good, but it is also bad.
I am in hopes we learn as much over the next year. We know that (S) is on track to be leaving us soon to go back to live with mom and dad, and we will learn how we will deal with that. We have certainly grown to love her as we love our own children and when she leaves, we will certainly worry about her. We live in a rather small community and are hopeful her family stays in the area so we might see her once in a while, but who knows.
We have taken some classes over the last year and they have been helpful, but it seems that no matter what the topic is, it is always a little different than what we are dealing with. Over this next year we need to learn more to make sure whatever child finds their way to our house next, we kn0w even more to help them.
I have certainly found all the blogs listed on the side of the page helpful. I knew there were a lot of great people out there doing foster care, but I didn't know how to use that resource. Now that I do, I expect to learn a lot that way. And I thank all of you who have offered your advice and opinions.
The New Year wil certainly bring on some challenges but my lovely wife and I have rang in 37 New Years together and every year is a little differnet and an education. 2008 may have been the most educational and I see 2009 as surpassing it. Foster parenting has certianly opened our eyes. We know they will open even wider this year.......and we can't wait!
We wish all of you a Happy Healthy and Blessed New Year
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