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(S) has not been feeling very well today. We think she may be teething. She hasn't eaten much today and has just been miserable. Right now she is lying down and watching Noggin. I feel so bad when she gets sick or when she is unhappy. What I don't know is if I treat her the way I should.
You see I really feel bad for her for the situation she finds herself in. What with her bio mom and dad in the process of having their parental rights terminated and not getting to see her brothers very often I feel like I have to be a little more "understanding"
Then I wonder if I am just going to end up spoiling her........what kind of a term is that? We all say it, but really......spoiled?........What a horrible thing to say about a child................
Anyway, I want to treat her just like I treated my own children when they were growing up but I don't. I know the reason I don't is because she has a different life experience then my kids had, or that either I or DW have had. We go out of our way to treat her extra special. I know it really doesn't matter what anyone says as we will continue to treat her special. The only people that really seem to get upset are our 3 bio children who can't believe some of the things we let her do.
"You never let us do that!" is a common phrase heard from all of them lately. So, while I hope we aren't doing anything we shouldn't do, anyone would be hard pressed to convince us to do otherwise. She just needs some extra loving and we are here to give it to her.
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Just heard we are going to get up to 18 inches of snow tonight......I am getting tired of winter.
Showing posts with label foster child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster child. Show all posts
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Star Light Star Bright
.
This evening DW and I went to a class at the Mystery Mansion. It was an interesting class about Neonatal Abstinance Syndrome. What most of us call drug withdrawal for a newborn. We haven't been involved with a baby in that situaiton, you never really know and the class counts for a couple of hours of our required training so we figured why not.
(S) stayed with (K) while DW and I went to dinner first and then the class. When the class was over we picked up (S) and were driving home when she saw a star. DW went through the little diddy with her
Star Light
Star Bright
First Star I see Tonight
Wish I may
Wish I might
Have the wish
I wish tonight.
So when you say it, what do you wish for? Winning the lottery? getting a promotion or a raise? Some more religious people tend to wish for more profound things. So what about (S)?
She picked up on it and was able to repeat it with very little practice. She said it a number of times. I asked her what her wish was and she said "I wish to stay with my mommy"............I had no response to that.
When was the last time you wished for something like that? As we all know, the chances of that occurring at this time are slim and none and Slim is on his way out of town. She hasn't seen mom since January 7 and there is no visitation at this time, nor will there be prior to the next court date the beginning of April.
This is certainly not an outrageous wish. It is one that SHOULD come true, yet most likely it won't. How sad is that? We can't even explain it to her. At 3 years old, she can't possibly understand what is going on? Sometimes this whole thing just really sucks.
This evening DW and I went to a class at the Mystery Mansion. It was an interesting class about Neonatal Abstinance Syndrome. What most of us call drug withdrawal for a newborn. We haven't been involved with a baby in that situaiton, you never really know and the class counts for a couple of hours of our required training so we figured why not.
(S) stayed with (K) while DW and I went to dinner first and then the class. When the class was over we picked up (S) and were driving home when she saw a star. DW went through the little diddy with her
Star Light
Star Bright
First Star I see Tonight
Wish I may
Wish I might
Have the wish
I wish tonight.
So when you say it, what do you wish for? Winning the lottery? getting a promotion or a raise? Some more religious people tend to wish for more profound things. So what about (S)?
She picked up on it and was able to repeat it with very little practice. She said it a number of times. I asked her what her wish was and she said "I wish to stay with my mommy"............I had no response to that.
When was the last time you wished for something like that? As we all know, the chances of that occurring at this time are slim and none and Slim is on his way out of town. She hasn't seen mom since January 7 and there is no visitation at this time, nor will there be prior to the next court date the beginning of April.
This is certainly not an outrageous wish. It is one that SHOULD come true, yet most likely it won't. How sad is that? We can't even explain it to her. At 3 years old, she can't possibly understand what is going on? Sometimes this whole thing just really sucks.
Monday, January 12, 2009
She Thinks Her Life is Normal
.............
"We are going to go to trial"
Those were the words of the case worker today, but she never explained to us what for. She wanted to confim again that we were in this for the long haul. (we have been with (S) for 13 months already) They are trying to set up "supervised" visits but we don't know when or how that is going to work.
We are not stopping phone calls to mom and dad twice a week but according to the case worker we can just hang up if we don't like what is said. I don't hang up on people, so I am not sure why I would now. Mom and Dad have always been civil to us. I am not sure I would be as civil as they have been.
We remian in the dark about what caused the sudden change and today we found out the family meeting for Friday is off and of course we don't know why. I am going to see if I can find out from Mom tomorrow when we make one of the phone calls, but I won't really know if what I am being told is the truth or not, so I guess asking would be kind of stupid.
Our biggest problem now is that we have a child here who wants to see mommy and doesn't know why she can't. What can we possibly tell a 3 year old that she will understand. Obviously nothing.
When we took our classes to become foster parents, we were taught a lot about how to work within the system and we were told a lot about different problems that kids will have and the reasons that kids ended up in custody. We also got some instruction and did a little role play about dealing with the parents.....we got absolutely no training about what to tell or how to deal with the children. The only reason we are in this is for the kids. I didn't think much about it at the time we were being trained. I thought they were teaching what I needed to know and after all, I had raised three children of my own so I knew how to deal with children.........NOT.......My children never had to face the uncertainty that these kids face every day. Not knowing where they may live tomorrow, and not knowing when they may see their parents or their siblings again.
This would have been good trianing, but maybe I wouldn't have appreciated it at the time because of the fact that I had raised three children and until you are exposed to these kids and what they go through you can't possibly know how to handle it. Obviously you want to keep things age appropriate, but we don't even know what should or shouldn't be told so we don't know what we are keeping age appropriate.
There is no doubt in my mind that the case worker wants to do what is best for (S), but so do we, and I think so do mom and dad. It is just that we all have different ideas about what is best.
(S) is now getting up every night and is up and down throughout the night. She is grasping onto both of us I think because of a fear of losing us as she did her parents. She is a cute girl. She is a very engaging and a blast ot be with. She is always helful. She is always polite. She is a smart girl and in spite of that.......
She thinks her life is normal!
....
....
"We are going to go to trial"
Those were the words of the case worker today, but she never explained to us what for. She wanted to confim again that we were in this for the long haul. (we have been with (S) for 13 months already) They are trying to set up "supervised" visits but we don't know when or how that is going to work.
We are not stopping phone calls to mom and dad twice a week but according to the case worker we can just hang up if we don't like what is said. I don't hang up on people, so I am not sure why I would now. Mom and Dad have always been civil to us. I am not sure I would be as civil as they have been.
We remian in the dark about what caused the sudden change and today we found out the family meeting for Friday is off and of course we don't know why. I am going to see if I can find out from Mom tomorrow when we make one of the phone calls, but I won't really know if what I am being told is the truth or not, so I guess asking would be kind of stupid.
Our biggest problem now is that we have a child here who wants to see mommy and doesn't know why she can't. What can we possibly tell a 3 year old that she will understand. Obviously nothing.
When we took our classes to become foster parents, we were taught a lot about how to work within the system and we were told a lot about different problems that kids will have and the reasons that kids ended up in custody. We also got some instruction and did a little role play about dealing with the parents.....we got absolutely no training about what to tell or how to deal with the children. The only reason we are in this is for the kids. I didn't think much about it at the time we were being trained. I thought they were teaching what I needed to know and after all, I had raised three children of my own so I knew how to deal with children.........NOT.......My children never had to face the uncertainty that these kids face every day. Not knowing where they may live tomorrow, and not knowing when they may see their parents or their siblings again.
This would have been good trianing, but maybe I wouldn't have appreciated it at the time because of the fact that I had raised three children and until you are exposed to these kids and what they go through you can't possibly know how to handle it. Obviously you want to keep things age appropriate, but we don't even know what should or shouldn't be told so we don't know what we are keeping age appropriate.
There is no doubt in my mind that the case worker wants to do what is best for (S), but so do we, and I think so do mom and dad. It is just that we all have different ideas about what is best.
(S) is now getting up every night and is up and down throughout the night. She is grasping onto both of us I think because of a fear of losing us as she did her parents. She is a cute girl. She is a very engaging and a blast ot be with. She is always helful. She is always polite. She is a smart girl and in spite of that.......
She thinks her life is normal!
....
....
Saturday, January 10, 2009
WHEN AM I GOING TO MOMMY'S?
That was the question from (S) today. She was supposed to go yesterday and again today. I know she knows that something is up, but she has no idea what. She has been absolutely miserable today. Every time you tell her "no" she runs out of the room crying. As a result we have tried not to say that too much but to offer alternatives that she might like.
So, I went sledding in the front yard again today. I had to shovel out steps so that she could climb up the hill that the plow made. I think I dragged that sled up that hill about 100 times today. Then it was time to make snow angels again.
sidenote: When you are a kid making snow angels you have a snow suit on. When you are an adult and try it with your jeans on they just get wet and make you miserable.
After that we had some lunch..... She loves "sketti"..... which we usually don't have for lunch, but I thought she would like it. She ate it up. Then we played with her new shopping cart. Unfortunately, with everything we did, it didn't help much. She is still not feeling well. She said she doesn't feel well, but she doesn't know what hurts, or why she doesn't feel well.
I hope that whatever the issue is it gets worked out early in the week so that (S) can spend some time with her mom. She has been so clingy tonight as well. She is grabbing either me or my dear wife and just holding on. It would appear that she is afraid of losing us too. I hope there is no longterm affect from all of this, but I am not too optimistic.
She is such a cute and delightful and smart kid. I wish I could make it all better, but unfortunately I can not. At least not today.
So, I went sledding in the front yard again today. I had to shovel out steps so that she could climb up the hill that the plow made. I think I dragged that sled up that hill about 100 times today. Then it was time to make snow angels again.
sidenote: When you are a kid making snow angels you have a snow suit on. When you are an adult and try it with your jeans on they just get wet and make you miserable.
After that we had some lunch..... She loves "sketti"..... which we usually don't have for lunch, but I thought she would like it. She ate it up. Then we played with her new shopping cart. Unfortunately, with everything we did, it didn't help much. She is still not feeling well. She said she doesn't feel well, but she doesn't know what hurts, or why she doesn't feel well.
I hope that whatever the issue is it gets worked out early in the week so that (S) can spend some time with her mom. She has been so clingy tonight as well. She is grabbing either me or my dear wife and just holding on. It would appear that she is afraid of losing us too. I hope there is no longterm affect from all of this, but I am not too optimistic.
She is such a cute and delightful and smart kid. I wish I could make it all better, but unfortunately I can not. At least not today.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
MISSING FOSTER CHILD FOUND
Jaeda Vanderwall found
Last seen at 4:00 p.m. on Monday January 5th, Jaeda Vanderwall has now been located.
RCMP East St. Paul would like to thank the public and members of the media, Jaeda Vanderwall aka Beaulieu has returned home last night safe and sound.
Contact:Sgt. Davy LeeRCMP
East St. Paul Det.
(204)668-8322
Last seen at 4:00 p.m. on Monday January 5th, Jaeda Vanderwall has now been located.
RCMP East St. Paul would like to thank the public and members of the media, Jaeda Vanderwall aka Beaulieu has returned home last night safe and sound.
Contact:Sgt. Davy LeeRCMP
East St. Paul Det.
(204)668-8322
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
MISSING FOSTER CHILD
RCMP want your help to find an 11-year-old girl who went missing from her foster home in East St. Paul yesterday.
Police say Jaeda Beaulieu, who also goes by the name Jaeda Vanderwall was last seen in the 200 block of Osborne Street at 4 p.m.
Jaeda is described as aboriginal, 5'2" tall, 145 pounds and has long brown straight hair and brown eyes.
She was last seen wearing a black and white plaid coat with a fur collar trim and light blue jeans.
She has friends and family in Winnipeg and is familiar with the North End.
Anyone with information about Jaeda is asked to call the East St. Paul RCMP at 204-668-8322.
Police say Jaeda Beaulieu, who also goes by the name Jaeda Vanderwall was last seen in the 200 block of Osborne Street at 4 p.m.
Jaeda is described as aboriginal, 5'2" tall, 145 pounds and has long brown straight hair and brown eyes.
She was last seen wearing a black and white plaid coat with a fur collar trim and light blue jeans.
She has friends and family in Winnipeg and is familiar with the North End.
Anyone with information about Jaeda is asked to call the East St. Paul RCMP at 204-668-8322.
Read the actual article here:
Monday, January 5, 2009
What is a Persons Real Impact?
"........A person's real impact on this world is not measured by gross income or collegiate degrees. It is instead revealed by the courage of their moral conviction and human lives they touch. I choose to be the latter."
I wish I could take credit for writing those words, but I can't. Those words come from a 17 year old boy in foster care by the name of Alex. His story is really a remarkable one and it is always nice to see good stories about foster care and foster parents and foster children. All too often the news is not good.
I flew to Florida today and had to go through Detroit. I came across the article by Jeff Seidel about this boy and managed to find it on the web. Instead of trying to rewrite a good story, you can and should read the story by Mr Seidel at this link:
http://www.freep.com/article/20090104/FEATURES01/901040318
So yesterday I was sledding with (S) in the front yard, and today I am in Florida wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I just wish I could enjoy it. I am only here for two days on business. It sure is nice though.
Getting back to the original question. What is a persons real impact? What has been my impact? What has been your impact? That, I think is only a question each of us can answer for ourselves. I am going to make that something I will spend more time thinking about. Maybe by focusing on it, I will make a positive impact and leave this world a little better off. Maybe you?
I wish I could take credit for writing those words, but I can't. Those words come from a 17 year old boy in foster care by the name of Alex. His story is really a remarkable one and it is always nice to see good stories about foster care and foster parents and foster children. All too often the news is not good.
I flew to Florida today and had to go through Detroit. I came across the article by Jeff Seidel about this boy and managed to find it on the web. Instead of trying to rewrite a good story, you can and should read the story by Mr Seidel at this link:
http://www.freep.com/article/20090104/FEATURES01/901040318
So yesterday I was sledding with (S) in the front yard, and today I am in Florida wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I just wish I could enjoy it. I am only here for two days on business. It sure is nice though.
Getting back to the original question. What is a persons real impact? What has been my impact? What has been your impact? That, I think is only a question each of us can answer for ourselves. I am going to make that something I will spend more time thinking about. Maybe by focusing on it, I will make a positive impact and leave this world a little better off. Maybe you?
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