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I have taken a new job in Massachusetts. 4 years ago if you asked me, I would have said I would be retiring by now, but things have changed. Shyanne is the biggest reason for those changes. Obviously with a 5 year old, I am not the least bit interested in retiring at an early age. More importantly, I want to make sure I have enough funds to support her in the regal style she is becoming accustomed to now during her teenage years.
There is one other issue I have had. Now, first, I have to tell you that DW does not agree with me on this one, but I still feel this way.
I worry about Shyanne's biological father. I think he is a dangerous man and given the chance and getting in the wrong frame of mind, I believe he would come after her. They know who we are, and I am sure they know where we live. Like I said, DW doesn't think he will try anything as he was more interested in the two older boys, but I still think he would try something, and that scares me.
Thus another reason to seek out a new job. So once the adoption was complete, I started looking. It didn't take long to find something I was interested in, and sure enough I got selected. So I found out last month I was selected and they wanted me to start June 20th (yes today). I talked them into the 27th, so I have one more week.
Two weeks ago we put our house on the market. In this day and age, it could take ages to sell a home....no, not for us. We have a signed purchase and sales agreement already, the buyer has had the home inspected already and they want to close the sale on July 15th. OMG!!! We will be homeless in 3 1/2 weeks.
Needless to say, we have been scrambling to get things packed up, try ot find a place to live, and work out getting a new mortgage for a place to live. and I have to be at my new job on Monday. I know it wouldn't have happened this way if it wasn't meant to be this way, but this is way too stressful for me.
I am committed to keeping up on the blog as well. I am hopeful I can find the time to tell you all about our vacation over the last week and a half as well as Shyanne's reactions to all that is going on. More importantly for purposes of this blog, we went to the Forever Families weekend at Camp Nah Jee Wah in Milford, Pennsylvania and that was wonderful. We learned a lot I want to pass along to you all....but right now I have to get to bed. more packing to do tomorrow.
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Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day
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To rephrase a line from a writer who is far superior to me....
It is the happeist of times, it is the saddest of times...............
This is the first Father's Day since we adopted Shyanne...................I love you so much Shyanne!
This is the first Father's Day since my father passed away.......................I miss you so much Dad!
What more can I say.
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To rephrase a line from a writer who is far superior to me....
It is the happeist of times, it is the saddest of times...............
This is the first Father's Day since we adopted Shyanne...................I love you so much Shyanne!
This is the first Father's Day since my father passed away.......................I miss you so much Dad!
What more can I say.
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So Much to Write
So it has been a while and so much has been happening in our lifes.
My father passed in February. I have a new job I start next Monday. We have a contract to sell our house on July 15th, but no place to live in Massachusetts where I will be working. House hunting starts today.
We attended Forever Families weekend run by Debra Schwartz from Jewish Family Services of Greenwich, CT. and I have a lot to say about that wonderful experience, and thanks to pass along to Melissa at Full Circle who was able to connect me to that through her webcast "Adoption Angles"
But I will get to all of that in coming days and weeks. For right now, I have a simple Father's Day post I want to make.
My father passed in February. I have a new job I start next Monday. We have a contract to sell our house on July 15th, but no place to live in Massachusetts where I will be working. House hunting starts today.
We attended Forever Families weekend run by Debra Schwartz from Jewish Family Services of Greenwich, CT. and I have a lot to say about that wonderful experience, and thanks to pass along to Melissa at Full Circle who was able to connect me to that through her webcast "Adoption Angles"
But I will get to all of that in coming days and weeks. For right now, I have a simple Father's Day post I want to make.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Out of the Mouths of Babes
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Since my dad passed away there has been a lot of talk about God from Shyanne. We read her some books about death and she was very good at the funeral. She is really very good all the time, but especially at the funeral. When the time came to throw some dirt on the grave of my father she wanted to help as well, and also threw some dirt on the grave with the shovel.
That was pretty amazing, and she knew how sad I was and was very comforting for me as well before, during, and after the services. She asked a lot of questions that one would expect a five year old to ask, and since we have been back, the questions and comments had slowed down.
At least until today...
Today we took Shyanne to see her therapist. She went into the room and I was sitting in the waiting room while DW was downstairs in the parking lot awaiting the arrival of (K) who was meeting us to pick up (L), our grandson.
Two minutes after leaving Shyanne in the room the therapist came right out and asked me to bring Shyanne downstairs to DW as she had something she had to tell me. I immediately broughy her down to DW and headed back upstairs. The therapist met me before I got all the way back and told me that Shyanne had said the following to her:
"My old parents were bad and they won't go to heaven. They are going to stay in the ground, because bad people stay in the ground and don't get to go to be with God."
This was said without provocation. There had been nothing said about my father or the funeral, or anything else. It was just the first thing that Shy blurted out when the door was closed. It is amazing. She also told her that my father was a good person and he had gone to be with God.
Out of the mouths of babes!
*
Since my dad passed away there has been a lot of talk about God from Shyanne. We read her some books about death and she was very good at the funeral. She is really very good all the time, but especially at the funeral. When the time came to throw some dirt on the grave of my father she wanted to help as well, and also threw some dirt on the grave with the shovel.
That was pretty amazing, and she knew how sad I was and was very comforting for me as well before, during, and after the services. She asked a lot of questions that one would expect a five year old to ask, and since we have been back, the questions and comments had slowed down.
At least until today...
Today we took Shyanne to see her therapist. She went into the room and I was sitting in the waiting room while DW was downstairs in the parking lot awaiting the arrival of (K) who was meeting us to pick up (L), our grandson.
Two minutes after leaving Shyanne in the room the therapist came right out and asked me to bring Shyanne downstairs to DW as she had something she had to tell me. I immediately broughy her down to DW and headed back upstairs. The therapist met me before I got all the way back and told me that Shyanne had said the following to her:
"My old parents were bad and they won't go to heaven. They are going to stay in the ground, because bad people stay in the ground and don't get to go to be with God."
This was said without provocation. There had been nothing said about my father or the funeral, or anything else. It was just the first thing that Shy blurted out when the door was closed. It is amazing. She also told her that my father was a good person and he had gone to be with God.
Out of the mouths of babes!
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Tuesday, March 8, 2011
It's Been A While Again
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Only this time has been different. As some readers know, I had to make a trip to Florida in January as we were told that my father had had some kind of an event and was very close to death. As it turned out, he was able to pull through and after spending about a week there with my family, my father was back in a rehab and appeared to be progressing along to recovery and hopefully a return home.
Unfortunately, that was not in the cards. They had to bring him back to the hospital on February 17th. I got a call on February 2oth that they were putting him into a hospice at the hospital as there wasn't much more they could do, and he didn't have much time left.
My sister and I both flew to Florida and we were able to spend a couple of days with my dad while he was in hospice and was able to respond and communicate with us. Unfortunately, that was all the time we had, but I do feel as though we made the most of it.
Thursday February 24th, my dad was totally unresponsive, although they told us that he could probably here us. His eye (one was paralyzed shut) remained open the whole day. I don't remember the exact time, but I think my sister and I left there about 10:00pm. A few hours later, while at my mother's house, we got the phone call that my father had passed at 12:45am on Friday February 25th.
I have a number of stories to tell about that week and the time that has passed since then. It has certainly had an affect on Shyanne, but I have to tell you she was a very good girl at the funeral service and at the cemetary.
It was definitely a time to be proud. I was proud of my father's courage. I was proud of Shyanne and the way she acted and responded to the death of her papa. I was proud of my three older children as well. My son even said a few words at the funeral for his papa and he did a great job. More will follow on that with my next post, but in the meantime, I am just going to relax and think about my dad for a few days, and just in case he is following this blog......
I love you dad, and already miss you more than you can ever imagine.
*
Only this time has been different. As some readers know, I had to make a trip to Florida in January as we were told that my father had had some kind of an event and was very close to death. As it turned out, he was able to pull through and after spending about a week there with my family, my father was back in a rehab and appeared to be progressing along to recovery and hopefully a return home.
Unfortunately, that was not in the cards. They had to bring him back to the hospital on February 17th. I got a call on February 2oth that they were putting him into a hospice at the hospital as there wasn't much more they could do, and he didn't have much time left.
My sister and I both flew to Florida and we were able to spend a couple of days with my dad while he was in hospice and was able to respond and communicate with us. Unfortunately, that was all the time we had, but I do feel as though we made the most of it.
Thursday February 24th, my dad was totally unresponsive, although they told us that he could probably here us. His eye (one was paralyzed shut) remained open the whole day. I don't remember the exact time, but I think my sister and I left there about 10:00pm. A few hours later, while at my mother's house, we got the phone call that my father had passed at 12:45am on Friday February 25th.
I have a number of stories to tell about that week and the time that has passed since then. It has certainly had an affect on Shyanne, but I have to tell you she was a very good girl at the funeral service and at the cemetary.
It was definitely a time to be proud. I was proud of my father's courage. I was proud of Shyanne and the way she acted and responded to the death of her papa. I was proud of my three older children as well. My son even said a few words at the funeral for his papa and he did a great job. More will follow on that with my next post, but in the meantime, I am just going to relax and think about my dad for a few days, and just in case he is following this blog......
I love you dad, and already miss you more than you can ever imagine.
*
Friday, February 18, 2011
WE HAVE BEEN BUSY
We have been so busy, I haven't had any time at all to blog. I fell like I must be the worst blogger in the world. In any event, I promised a picture from the Father/Daughter Valentine dance, and here it is.
Shy and I had a great day. We started at (A)s house for this photograph and a few others, then we went out for dinner. It was her choice, since it was her night and went to a buffet style restaurant. She refers to it as "The restaurant where you pick out your own food."
After that it was off to the elementary school where the dance was being held. There we signed in, had our picture taken and immediately found our way to the table of food. Tehre were fruits and vegertables along with dip, and also some pastrys. We had just eaten dinner, but Shy was in the mood for more so we filled up a couple of plates and got ourselves a bottle of water.
It has been a long time since I attended one of these dances. After all, (K), my formerly youngest daughter is now 28 years old. I had forgotten how cute all the little girls looked dressed up for the evening out with dad.
In any event, that is all about the dance. I will try to be a better bogger and be more regular. I do need to pass along the story about the "cops" and others that I will as time permits.
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Thursday, February 3, 2011
Why Do Some Kids Hit and Kick?
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Shyanne told me on Tuesday that she was hoping it snowed enough so that there was no school on Wedenesday. This took me by surprise because in the past she has always liked going to school. So when i asked her why she hoped there was no school and she told me she didn't like school anymore, I had to find out why.
After a few questions she finally informed me that this boy that she has had problems with in the past had been hitting and kicking her again. This little girl has had enough violence in her life, and while boys will be boys, especially at age 5, we were not going to tolerate this.
She said that the teacher had left the room to make some copies of something and she had told the teacher when she returned (good for her) and the teacher gave the boy a time out.
I praised her for telling the teacher and I wrote an email to the teacher. The teacher wrote back saying that she was unaware of this situation (apparently she didn't give him a time out, or it just didn't happen) but she did say that she had been out of the room for just a few seconds to make some copies in the next room and the kids were at their tables. Sicne this boy and Shy are at different tables she didn't think anything had happened then, but she was going to have another talk with Shy and make sure that Shy did come to her when there were issues.
The problem is.....Did Shy make up the fact that the boy hit her......OR.....did she make up the fact that she told the teacher.
We can't be sure which, so it is obviously a delicate topic. I certainly don't want to say anything further, and hopefully the teacher will not leave the kids alone for even a few seconds again in the future....but at least Shy told me.
I might add here that we do like her teacher and think she is wonderful for Shy, but if this should happen again, we may not feel that way. In any event....
She is such a wonderful little girl (I may be biased, but even unbiased people agree) and I want her to have a wonderful time at school. I hope she does for the rest of the year, or we may have to take further action. I am just not sure what.
There is a part of me that wants to tell her if he hits her again to kick him in the you-know-what, but that is not the way I want her to live her life. She could have had a life like that with her bio family, she shouldn't need it with us.
Here's hoping that this is last time I have to deal with this
*
Shyanne told me on Tuesday that she was hoping it snowed enough so that there was no school on Wedenesday. This took me by surprise because in the past she has always liked going to school. So when i asked her why she hoped there was no school and she told me she didn't like school anymore, I had to find out why.
After a few questions she finally informed me that this boy that she has had problems with in the past had been hitting and kicking her again. This little girl has had enough violence in her life, and while boys will be boys, especially at age 5, we were not going to tolerate this.
She said that the teacher had left the room to make some copies of something and she had told the teacher when she returned (good for her) and the teacher gave the boy a time out.
I praised her for telling the teacher and I wrote an email to the teacher. The teacher wrote back saying that she was unaware of this situation (apparently she didn't give him a time out, or it just didn't happen) but she did say that she had been out of the room for just a few seconds to make some copies in the next room and the kids were at their tables. Sicne this boy and Shy are at different tables she didn't think anything had happened then, but she was going to have another talk with Shy and make sure that Shy did come to her when there were issues.
The problem is.....Did Shy make up the fact that the boy hit her......OR.....did she make up the fact that she told the teacher.
We can't be sure which, so it is obviously a delicate topic. I certainly don't want to say anything further, and hopefully the teacher will not leave the kids alone for even a few seconds again in the future....but at least Shy told me.
I might add here that we do like her teacher and think she is wonderful for Shy, but if this should happen again, we may not feel that way. In any event....
She is such a wonderful little girl (I may be biased, but even unbiased people agree) and I want her to have a wonderful time at school. I hope she does for the rest of the year, or we may have to take further action. I am just not sure what.
There is a part of me that wants to tell her if he hits her again to kick him in the you-know-what, but that is not the way I want her to live her life. She could have had a life like that with her bio family, she shouldn't need it with us.
Here's hoping that this is last time I have to deal with this
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